“31 is the new 365”. Or let’s precisely say “31 is the new 366.” What actions or habits are you implementing in December 2023 to make 2024 your most awesome year yet!!! We will be delving into a simple secret of habit formation in today’s episode of NLP Around You.

Thoughtful Thought

“The span of light doesn’t define its power.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“All we are ever doing is putting things together or taking things apart.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – The Secret of Habit Formation

“Habit planning happens on a conscious level, and habit formation happens on a subconscious level.”

When you plan a habit and touch upon all the relevant aspects like what to do, when to do, how much to do, and how to track and measure, all of that is the task of conscious mind where logic and calculations take the front seat. Once the habit is planned and mapped out, the ball goes into the court of the subconscious mind. 

Let us take an example of forming a habit of exercising daily. What is the purpose of this habit? Your conscious mind is very clear that you want to lose weight. Now the subconscious mind is like a parrot, which not just repeats but also follows the instructions as it is. For it, “losing” presupposes an existence of something that needs to be lost. This something in this case is Weight. So what happens is a cycle of losing and then again gaining so that it can be lost. Can you relate to a gain-loss cycle like this in your own weight management goals?

So then, how can you form your habit for your weight-loss goal without focusing on losing weight? The difference that makes the difference lies in training your subconscious mind in a way that is focused on what you want rather than what you don’t want. In this case, instead of focusing on losing X kgs of weight, design your habits focusing on the goal of achieving Y kgs of a target weight.

What is the principle that makes this work so magically? Keep the curiosity alive till the next weekend, when the next episode of NLP Around You arrives in your inbox. 

Meta-Magic – Are You in Your Own Prison?

This week’s story was shared by my book coach Heena M Shrivastava in one of her sessions in the Writernaama Book Club.

At his swearing-in ceremony as the President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela invited all the jailers of that very prison in which he was tortured and humiliated during his 27 years of rigorous imprisonment.

His well-wishers were perplexed as to why he would want to invite those people who gave him uncountable moments of unreasonable shame, insult and torture. “If I did not invite them, I would still be in prison,” Mandela said with a conviction in his smile.

He is often quoted to say – “As I walked out to the door towards the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I did not leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I would still be in prison.”

My question to you is – Which prison do you need to get out from?

Hook From The Book

“Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet.” – Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

Movie Motivation

“Bhagwaan ke bharose mat baithiye – kya pata bhagwan humare bharose baitha ho.” (translated to: “Don’t sit idle putting all your plans to God. Maybe He is also waiting for you to have a plan.”) This powerful quote from the movie Manjhi The Mountain Man reminds us that you can wait for “one day” for things to happen to you, or you can choose to make today “day one” and make things happen. What are you choosing now?

This Week’s Winning Post

What are Meta programs in NLP?

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

As we are ready to fly into the new year next month, may I ask you what are your new year resolutions for 2024? No, hold on… let me reframe that. What are your year-end resolutions for 2023? Rather than aspiring for all the wonderful changes that you wish to make starting from 1st Jan 2024, how about pondering about what changes you can start making over the month of December 2023 so that you enter 2024 in your best avatar? #31isthenew365

Thoughtful Thought

“Just as the skin needs vitamin E to glow, the mind needs vitamin I (introspection) to grow.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“A lot of people are doing life and not living life.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Unconscious Actions

Do these kind of thoughts cross your mind?

– Why did I do what I did?

– How could I make this decision despite knowing the pros and cons?

If any of the above thoughts are ringing any kind of bells in your mind, you are not alone.

The reason why we do what we do is anchored to our perceptions, which then take the shape of beliefs, and from there on begins the trail of unconscious actions.

Yes, these actions can be called ‘unconscious’ because we rarely dare to unbox the beliefs behind our actions. In this journey of life, awareness is the speed breaker of your actions, and beliefs and perceptions are the signboards.

My question: How many beliefs have you questioned while taking certain specific actions?

Meta-Magic – The Watermelon Method to Happiness

“I have seen the richest of rich people, yet their eyes don’t sparkle with joy. Tell me, Master, what is the secret of happiness?” When Japanese master Tao Su was asked this question by his disciple, his first response was a silent smile. A smile that bespoke the serenity in the unknown.

The disciple, however, failed to read that and scratched his head while waiting for an answer.

“Would you do as I say?” Asked the master while giggling a bit. The disciple nodded a desperate yes.

“Go to the town and buy the biggest watermelon. Carry it on your head without using the support of your hands, and come back here while balancing it. The condition is to walk back home instead of returning through any vehicle.”

The disciple’s eyes widened in surprise. His mind began weighing the results and trying to connect the dots, but he abided by whatever the master had instructed.

After finding the most enormous watermelon, the disciple followed what the master said and was mocked by many. Some labelled him mad, considering why he was not using his hands. Some tried to ask him, but he kept mum. This landed him as the clown for the town, and many kids mimicked him and laughed their hearts out.

The disciple was initially perplexed and annoyed and even cursed his master for making him undergo such kind of insults. Later, while walking, he began enjoying the walk and joined the chorus of joy and laughter with others.

When he reached back to the master, the master beamed with joy and asked about his experience. The disciple, in response, laughed and said that initially, he was feeling annoyed. Still, he never knew when it converted to joy.

The master replied, “Dear disciple, our life is like that. You might be carrying that heavy problem on your head and trying to balance in life. Many people will sneer at you in those moments, but if you keep your calm and focus on the process, you will be happy.”

My question to you is – How much attention are you giving to the watermelon on your head?

Hook From The Book

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.”

― Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Movie Motivation

“Jab hum khud ko samajh lete hain na, tab aur koi humare baare mein kya sochta hai, fark nahi padta” (translated to: “When we truly understand ourselves, it doesn’t matter what others think about us.”) 

My question to you is: How aware are you about your own self?

This Week’s Winning Post

What makes you emotionally reactive

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Thoughtful Thought

“Just because someone did not see your value, doesn’t mean you are not worth it.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Optimism that is healthy in its application will inevitably result in better physical and emotional health.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Perception

One exam, different results, not all get same marks, despite the teacher and school being same. The same question paper is tough for a few and easy for others.

One teacher may be liked by a few and disliked by a few.

The crucial question is: What is the reality in such situations?

The answer is: Perceptions.

Perceptions play a starring role in the world of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), like the directors of the movie of our minds. The way we perceive things shapes our experiences. It’s like putting on different glasses – rose-tinted ones can make the world seem brighter, while gray-tinted ones might dim the view. By tweaking our perceptions, we can create blockbuster changes in our lives. Imagine swapping the thriller soundtrack for a happy tune! So, next time you catch yourself in a mental matinee, think about adjusting your perception knobs. Who knows, you might just turn your everyday drama into a blockbuster comedy!

Meta-Magic – Who is the Pilot of Your Flight?

“We are expecting a little turbulence. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened. We will not be serving any beverages until further notice.” The calm and composed tone of the flight stewardess tried in vain to soothe the passengers.

With the turbulence announcement at 30,000 feet, fear gripped the sensibilities of almost every passenger as the flight penetrated the dense clouds with every thunder.

A young man who was just about to get married was petrified. He closed his eyes to pray. Once he opened his eyes with another stroke of turbulence, he witnessed his co-passenger, a six year old girl, who was quietly reading a book. He could not resist his curiosity and asked her, “Oh, dear child. Aren’t you scared? What keeps you so calm and composed in such a deadly turbulence?”

The little girl looked up and smiled, “I know nothing will happen.”

The man was guffawed at such unshakeable confidence. He raised his eyebrows, and before he could speak more, the girl added, “Well, the pilot is my Daddy, and he is taking me home.”

My question to you is: When your flight of life goes through turbulence, who is your pilot? Fear or Trust?

Hook From The Book

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Movie Motivation

“Life mein sabse bada risk hota hai… koi risk na lena” (“The biggest risk in life is not taking any risk.”) This line from the movie Barfi reminds us to evaluate whether we are getting too much in our comfort zone and thereby preventing our own growth.

This Week’s Winning Post

Habits towards your Higher-Self

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Make sure to pencil in your calendar the date of the next NLP Course where you are invited to attend the first weekend as a complimentary gift. Here are your joining details: https://www.w3successacademy.com/f/nlp-foundation-2023

Thoughtful Thought

“Rotten wood can’t be carved, but rotten thoughts can be cured.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Memories are like holograms: you recreate in your head the whole image of something which isn’t there”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Beliefs

“I am not so good at calculations.”

“She never arrives on time.”

These seemingly negative statements are just the tip of the iceberg. In reality, they stem from perceptual filters, better known as beliefs.

“What you believe, you become.” Beliefs are the information gathered through influence and experience, which, over time, make a home in our psyche. Whatever we do and whatever we are is merely a game of beliefs.

Beliefs are preconceptions and generalizations regarding fundamental situations in one’s life and the world. They are a mental construct that some proposition is true. For every given proposition, every person either has or lacks the mental construct that it is true. There is no middle ground between the presence and absence of a belief.

So, a belief can make or break your self-image and also your influence on others. Are you consciously choosing it?

Meta-Magic – Your Skill is Your Oar

Joey the nightingale dedicated his whole heart to his daily singing practice, inspite of being scorned by his family for doing so. Unable to sleep one starry night, Joey perched out on the tree branch and noticed a cat chasing a newborn nightingale, that had probably fallen off its nest. Joey’s heart skipped a beat, and his mind began racing in all directions as to how to rescue the newborn. Aware that he alone could not chase the cat away, his eyes sparkled with an idea. He began squeaking with the loudest pitch, something that he had learned during his singing practice. In no time, his squeak pierced the neighbourhood and the entire clan of nightingales swooped down on the unsuspecting cat and chased him away.

Joey’s skill of singing was a much under-rated oar, which helped him to tread through the troublesome sea.

My question to you is: Which of your skills is your oar?

Hook From The Book

“Nobody is good or bad. They are either strong or weak. Strong people stick to their morals, no matter what the trials and tribulations. Weak people, many a times, do not even realise how low they have fallen.”- The Secret of Nagas by Amish Tripathi

Movie Motivation

Today’s Movie Motivation is suggested by Ferzana.

“Dad hamesha kehte the Keep it Simple” (“Dad always said Keep it Simple”) – This dialogue in the movie Happy New Year reminds us to keep things simple, rather than unnecessarily complicate them through overthinking.

This Week’s Winning Post

“Dear Diwali…” A letter to Diwali from none other than N.L.P.

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

It is indeed time to celebrate the festive season of Diwali 2023 with sweets and balloons. Wishing you and your loved ones the most joyous and blessed Diwali till date!

Thoughtful Thought

“What you learn is education. What you implement is wisdom.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Nothing wears off, because as long as you think differently, you will feel differently.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – If or When

What is the difference between these two statements?

“You will get complimentary access to my NLP program if you read this newsletter till the end.”

“You will get complimentary access to my NLP program when you read this newsletter till the end.”

Allow your mind to process both these sentences independently and notice the difference it creates in your internal representations. Semantically the only difference is the change of the word from IF to WHEN. Yet the difference that makes the difference in the mind can be phenomenal.

The word IF denotes that a condition subject to which the outcome may or may not happen. The word WHEN denotes that the outcome is more likely to happen anyway – it is just a matter of time.

Now think about how this applies in your day-to-day self-talk. What are you telling yourself: 

A. “I will achieve success if I work hard” OR

B. “I will achieve success when I work hard”

Are you telling yourself:

A. “If I ask the right questions, I will get my answers.” OR

B. “When I ask the right questions, I will get my answers.”

What follows “IF” is considered by the subconscious mind as optional or conditional. What follows “WHEN” is considered by the subconscious mind as certain and doable.

Meta-Magic – Be a Remarkable Pencil

A pencil-maker was once heard giving profound life-lessons to his newly made pencil. “Before you go out to the world, I want to share with you three lessons. When you follow all three, you shall be a remarkable pencil:

Lesson 1: With time, you may become blunt, and you will need the sharpener. You may feel a bit of pain while being sharpened, but it will always make you better.

Lesson 2: You will get the opportunity to correct the mistakes of others. Sometimes you can strike through and do it. At other times, you’ll need the help of an eraser. Put aside your ego and never hesitate in taking help.

Lesson 3: No matter on what surface you go, make sure you leave your mark.”

My question to you is: Which of these three life-lessons are you going to apply today?

Hook From The Book

“A situation in itself is neither happy nor unhappy. It’s only your response to it that causes your sorrow.”– Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, The Palace of Illusions

Movie Motivation

“Jab tak zinda hoon, tab tak mara nahi… Jab mar gaya, sala main hi nahi.” (Translated to: “Till I am alive, I am not dead… Once I am dead, I am no longer there”) This seemingly casual remark from the movie Anand is a message that reinforces – Live this moment while you are alive, because when you are gone, nothing really matters.

Please do reply to this email – What message does this dialogue convey to you?

This Week’s Winning Post

What is Empathy?

PS: In the One-Minute NLP section above, I mentioned that “You will get complimentary access to my NLP program WHEN you read this newsletter till the end.” I am glad to share with you that here it is:

Here is your opportunity to attend the “first weekend” of the 5-weekend NLP Practitioner Course at absolutely no charge. You can register at the link here right now: http://www.learnnlp.in/

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Often a push to move forward comes from a few words of wisdom. Presenting here is the link to your 2nd edition of Thoughtfully Yours – 99 Thought-Provoking Quotes with Actionable Questions

Thoughtful Thought

“Self-doubt is the wind which blows off the lamp of success.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“There are all kinds of things we can do in this world to make it a better place, but we must start with ourselves.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Leave your BUT’s behind

How often have you experienced a self-talk in these words?

“I want to read, but I am not able to find time.”

“I have time, but I am not focused.”

“I am working on myself, but nothing seems to work.”

How do the above sentences make you feel? For most people, these would sound limiting and disempowering.

Now, have a look at these sentences:

“I cannot find time, but I want to read.”

“I might not be focused, but I have the time.”

“I may not feel immediate results, but I am working on myself.”

How do these second set of sentences make you feel? For most people, these sentences do ignite some optimism.

What changed? Just a few words re-arranged? Well, it may look that simple. The answer lies in the impact of the word “BUT”. The word “BUT” has a deeper psychological impact of cancelling out or negating what was said before the word “BUT”. The word “BUT” played its role very effectively in both the set of sentences.

In the first set of sentences, “BUT” cancelled out the effect of the desired outcomes and projected the obstacles. In the second set of sentences, “BUT” cancelled out the effect of the obstacles and projected the focus on the outcomes.

This is just a sample of how language influences your mind. What you say to yourself and others affects your outcome. That’s where NLP becomes your magic wand to work on how to say what you say so that it works well for your and others’ growth.

Meta- Magic – Finding Your Balloon

In a training workshop on conflict resolution for 50 employees of an organisation, the trainer asked each participant to blow a balloon and write their name on it. Once all were done, the trainer took all the balloons and scattered them in another room. He then asked the participants to walk into that room and challenged them to find the balloon with their name in five minutes.

After five minutes, only eight participants had found their balloons while the rest were still in the midst of utter chaos bumping into each other.

The trainer now announced the next round. This time, he made 10 teams of 5 participants, and asked the group to search for the balloons having the names of the group members. All the 10 teams found all the balloons in less than 4 minutes this time.

My Question To You is: Whose help can you seek in finding your balloon?

Hook From The Book

“Stuff your eyes with wonder, he said, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.”- Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

Movie Motivation

“Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.” This dialogue from the movie The Lord of The Rings reminds us not to limit ourselves, and to instead realise our capability of making the change in our life by being in the Victor mode or the Cause mode at all times.

This Week’s Winning Post

The Pyramid of Healing

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria