Thoughtful Thought

“Success is about walking the path forward not about worrying on potholes.” ― Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“It is your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny.” ― Tony Robbins

One Minute NLP – Open Frame

Have you tried changing the frame of an old photo to make it look all fresh? What if you could do the same with various situations in life? Well, NLP has another tool in its armoury to give you a magic spell and it is known as ‘FRAMES’. These frames shift our perspective and make us look at some issue with different eyes.

Open Frame is one of the frames which enables us to satiate our curiosity by asking questions or providing comments about the topic under discussion. It is like an open book, where you can flip to any page. It opens the horizons of opportunities for individuals to raise questions on whatever interests them.

This frame also boosts rapport building through the act of inclusion. Open frame empowers both sides of the party. It unfolds the unseen and unexplored through questions. For example: asking during a weekly team meeting “How was the week for you?”

Meta-Magic – Can You See Yourself Where You Want To Be?

A devoted disciple, Srini was in a dilemma when his archery mentor invited him once again to observe his bow practice. On one hand, his heart swelled with joy, knowing his master’s eagerness to impart every skill, having already asked Srini to accompany him countless times. On the other hand, his mind clashed with his heart, whispering rebellious thoughts – “What new will you learn today when you’ve witnessed it a hundred times before?”

Srini quietened his mind and followed his master’s lead. Upon arrival, the master set up his bow and arrow, placing a sunflower between the branches of a tree. “Hmm, so just the flower has changed this time,” Srini mused.

Suddenly, the master shifted gears, retrieving a black blindfold from his pocket and covering his eyes. Srini’s eyes sparkled in anticipation of witnessing his master’s grand performance.

The master took a deep breath and released the arrow from nearly 200 meters away. Serenity graced his face.

“My dear Srini, can you go and check whether the flower has been struck precisely?”

When Srini went, his heart sank as he could not spot any arrow on the flower. Breathing deeply, he scanned the entire tree meticulously, but the arrow was nowhere to be found. His mind raced with apprehension about revealing the truth to the master.

Upon returning to the master, he wondered how to convey that the arrow had missed its mark. The master waited, smiling, his eyes twinkling.

“My dear master, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I could not locate an arrow on the flower or the entire tree. I suspect you overshot it far ahead.” Srini’s voice softened to a murmur, not wanting to disappoint his master.

Srini assumed his answer would extinguish the shine in his master’s eyes, but to his surprise, the master’s face softened even more as if a mystery awaited unravelling.

“Master, I don’t understand. I thought you brought me here to witness the power of setting a goal and achieving it through self-belief?”

“Yes, Srini, you are correct. I wanted to show you the power of goal-setting. The number one lesson in goal-setting is this – if you cannot see your goal, you cannot attain it.”

My question: Do you see yourself there before reaching there?

Hook From The Book

“If you want to know the strength of a cloth, you inspect the quality of its weave. If you want to understand a person’s character, look closely at their interpersonal behaviour or their transactions.”
― Amish Tripathi, The Immortals of Meluha

Movie Motivation

“It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.” When Albus Dumbledore speaks, the world remembers. This famous dialogue from Harry Potter series reminds us that life is not about the chances you miss, but the choices you make. While we have the ability to choose, that ability is of no use if we choose not to choose.

This Week’s Winning Post

How to Measure Success

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thoughtful Thought

“The success of your organization system is measured by the ease of retrieval when needed.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner 

“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.” ― Virginia Satir

One Minute NLP- Future Pacing

Imagine being transported to a tranquil beach, where the warm sunshine caresses your toes, inviting them to wiggle with delight. The fresh sea breeze cleanses your soul, and you inhale deeply, embracing the serenity that surrounds you. In that moment, all worries fade away, and the gentle rhythm of the waves whispers songs of hope, making everything seem possible. You rise with the energy of the high tide, swaying in harmony with the abundant breeze that envelops you.

How often and for how long would you like to immerse yourself in such an experience, where you can dance to the melodies of abundance? A place where ease reigns supreme, free from the clutches of toxicity, and passion lingers in the air, ready to embrace you fully and eternally.

You can use this script to transport yourself to this idyllic beach whenever you feel the weight of stress upon your shoulders. Consider it a magic wand, a time machine that whisks away your worries and nurtures your wholesomeness and authenticity.

In the realm of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, this powerful technique is known as Future Pacing. A very powerful application of Future Pacing lies in experiencing the achievement of your goals, or experiencing the desired mental states, or changing your habits or behaviour. With Future Pacing, you can reignite your inner motivation and passion by visualizing yourself in that desired situation, place, or state. It fosters self-belief in your own capabilities and unlocks the path to seamless achievement.

Meta-Magic – Can You See The Wonder?

“Hey Dad, look! The trees are moving past us!” exclaimed 24-year-old James, his eyes sparkling with wonder. His father, Peter, beamed with a smile that radiated pure joy and love.

Across from them on the train, a young couple glanced at Peter with a hint of pity, taken aback by James’s childlike excitement.

“Oh, wow! Dad, the clouds are racing alongside us!” James squealed in delight. The young couple exchanged a puzzled glance, unable to resist asking Peter, “Forgive me for inquiring, but have you considered seeking medical attention for your son?”

Peter’s smile only broadened as he replied, “In fact, we are returning from the doctor’s office. Today marks a new beginning for him. He’s just undergone an eye surgery and has gained his eyesight for the first time since childhood.”

My question to you is: How do you perceive the world and those around you? Through eyes jaded by experience, or with the fresh wonder of new sight?

Hook From The Book

“It’s like Tolstoy said. Happiness is an allegory, unhappiness a story.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Movie Motivation

“Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.” How do you relate to this famous quote from the movie Hitch?

This Week’s Winning Post 

Have you sailed in metaphorical boats?

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thoughtful Thought

“Destiny is not in the stars, but in the decisions”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be, it’s the way it is. The way you cope with that is what makes the difference.” ― Virginia Satir

One Minute NLP – The Red Flag of Goal Setting

The story shared by Curly Martin in her book The Business Coaching Handbook gives an interesting insight into the process of goal getting vs goal setting.

Nigel thought he had a job for life when he landed a part in Britain’s longest running television soap opera. Then, to boost viewing figures, the producer decided that his character would meet a gruesome and dramatic end.

At first Nigel welcomed the break from the punishing daily rehearsal and filming pattern. He still had a lifestyle that matched his former income but his savings quickly evaporated. To maintain his public image, he borrowed money and drifted ever deeper into debt. An avalanche of bills that he could not pay presented him with his wake-up call.

He remembered a book that another cast member had given him to read in his dressing room between takes. It was about goal setting. Without reference to the book, he decided there and then to set himself this goal: “Six months from today, I am totally debt-free.“

Exactly six months later he was forced into bankruptcy. This is the ultimate debt-free state. He had achieved his goal, but it was not what he had in mind when he wrote it.

Meta-Magic – What would you choose over a Sundae?

“How much is this delightful ice cream sundae?” asked 9-year-old John, his eyes dancing with delight as he took in the vibrant array of ice cream colors.

“50 cents,” the waitress replied, while scanning John’s appearance. His ruffled hair, grease-stained hands and clothes, and well-worn outfit told her he must have just come from the garage. “Probably earned a few cents washing a car,” she mused.

John began carefully counting the coins in his pocket. Once finished, he let out a small sigh and surveyed the counter again. “Um, how much is a plain ice cream?”

“35 cents,” the waitress said, wiping the counter.

“Okay, I’ll have a plain ice cream, please.” John handed over his 35 cents and waited eagerly for his treat to arrive at the table.

When John left, the waitress came to clear the table, and what she found opened her eyes wide.

There, left by little John, was a 15-cent tip for her.

Little John had chosen kindness over an ice cream sundae. What would you choose?

Hook From The Book

“Why should I have a time problem?” the little Buddha asked in astonishment. “There is enough time. What matters is what you do with it.” – Little Buddha Finding Happiness by Claus Mikosch

Movie Motivation

“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” This quote from The Lion King reminds us that the past is our learning ground to reflect and decide our way forward in life.

This Week’s Winning Post

Revealed: The Secret Recipe of Swishing from Mundane to Magic

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh

To begin with, I am overjoyed to share 2 announcements with you.

Here is the first one – My blog https://w3coach.com/blog has been listed among the 25 Best Indian Life Coach Blogs and Websites in 2024 by Feedspot. Check out the link here: https://lifestyle.feedspot.com/indian_life_coach_blogs/?feedid=5665645

For the second announcement, just keep the curiosity alive till you scroll till the end of this newsletter.

Thoughtful Thought

“You are most beautiful when you be you to the full.” – Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Awareness in and of itself is curative.”– Fritz Perls

One Minute NLP – Coaching with Chunking

Neuro-Linguistic Programming is a transformative tool that is applicable in the field of coaching and counselling.

Chunking is one such technique that can sketch revolutionary breakthroughs in a client seeking coaching or counselling.

Chunking in NLP is like the game of Tetris, where the objects are smartly navigated in order to fit into the structure. In Chunking, the questions need to be tweaked in a way that the ideas fit into the structure of clarity. One can ask questions to get either a broader or a narrowed view of any topic.

E.g. 1: Chunking up (Generalisation)

A: I just can’t write anything well. I tried, it never works.

B: Wow! Nothing at all? Not even your name?

A: I mean reports.

E.g. 2: Chunking Down (Specification)

A: Writing is very frustrating. I can’t write at all.

B: Which part of writing is frustrating to you? Ideation, outline, typing on keyboard, formatting etc?

A: Hmm! I can’t seem to organize my ideas.

So next time when you put the coach hat on, don’t forget to add chunking as a feather in it.

Meta-Magic – Fishing for Possibilities

A freshly recruited salesman in a departmental store in Canada was approached by his boss at the closing hours of his first day at work.

Boss: “How many sales did you make on the first day?”

Salesman: “Sir, I attended to 1 Sales call.”

Boss: “Only one sale the whole day? Usually, every salesman here does 20 to 30 Sales transactions a day. Well, tell me what is the value of your today’s one sale?”

Salesman: “$93300….!”

Boss: “What?? Unbelievable! But how did you do that?”

Salesman: “Sir, one customer came in, and I sold him a small fishing hook. Then a mazola, and then finally sold a big hook. Then I sold him one big fishing rod and some fishing gear…”

“Then I asked him where he goes to catch fish and he said to the coastal area….”

“Then I said to him that he would need a boat. So I took him to the boat department and sold him a 20 ft double engine scooter boat.”

“When he said the boat won’t come in his Volkswagen, I took him to the automobile section and sold him the new Deluxe 4×4 blazer to carry the boat.”

“And when I asked him where he would be going fishing ??? He didn’t plan anything. So I took him to the camping section and sold him a six-sleeper camper tent.”

“And then he took groceries worth $200 and 2 cases of beer….!”

Now the boss took two steps back and asked:- “You sold all this to a person who came just to buy only 1 fish hook???”

Salesman: “NO, Sir… He actually came in to buy one tablet for his headache… I explained to him that ‘Fishing’ is the best way to get rid of headaches!!”

My question to you is – How do you relate to this story? In which areas of your life can you create more possibilities out of situations that appear to look like limitations?

Hook From The Book

“The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.” ― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists

Movie Motivation

“Success ke peechhe mat bhaago. Kaabil bano kaabil. Kaamyaabi to saali jhak maarke peechhe aayegi.” (translated to “Do not chase Success. Work on your capabilities. Success is bound to follow.”) This line from the movie 3 Idiots reminds us to pursue Excellence and Work on self-development and growth so that success can follow by default.

This Week’s Winning Post

The Gift of “Extra”: Why Leap Day is Your Secret Weapon

So, here is the second big announcement – what you have just read is the 50th episode of this newsletter “NLP Around You”. Thanks to your love and support, I have consistently delivered to your expectations and beyond for 50 consecutive weeks. On this occasion, I am publishing a special blog post this coming Monday regarding the lessons I have learnt from the power of consistency and how you can apply these in your life, too. Remember to subscribe to my blog at https://w3coach.com/blog to be the first to receive it in your email inbox.

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thoughtful Thought

“When you are aligned, your purpose falls in line.” – Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“The odd thing about believing you’re insecure is that people are always secure in the knowledge that they believe they’re insecure”.- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Behavioral Flexibility

When one takes a hot shower, one doesn’t move the knob to the highest temperature directly, right? It begins by slowly setting the tap knob higher and stopping it where the temperature suits our skin.

In life, when specific goals are not achieved, if we use the same analogy of moving the knob of our behaviour bit by bit and fixing it to the one which fits well with our environment, capabilities and purpose, won’t this gradual knob movement become the mantra of our life?

This “knob” is better known as ‘behavioural flexibility’ in Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It is a skill where one can look back and not just measure what went right but also calibrate what went wrong and then again adjust the knob to re-align some parameters to resume in newer and empowering ways.

Behavioural flexibility can be your goldmine, the ability to win over day-to-day life situations, which ultimately paints the bigger picture of success. Let’s take the example of a particular goal of achieving a certain weight you could not reach. How can behavioural flexibility be your saviour here?

The first step would be to have a rear view and list the possible blocks. It may be the time you set, which was too short to achieve the big goal. It also might be overlooking an upcoming wedding in the family, where your health regime is supposedly going to be tossed. It may also be that your ‘why’ behind it was to prove your worth rather than aim to be fit. Or it might be a blurred understanding that fitness means weight loss. It may also be not having resources, not knowing techniques, not having the right knowledge or maybe not having an accountability partner.

Once you have the reasons listed, re-set the target by shifting the knob till the goal again looks achievable.

Happy Knob Turning.

Meta-Magic – When Defect Requires Effort…

“We would like to place a trial manufacturing order with you on one condition: we will accept only three defective pieces for every 10,000 pieces produced.” This was the strict specification given by the American computer giant IBM to their new Japanese component supplier.

When the components were delivered to IBM, there was a letter accompanying the delivery: “We, the Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 pieces have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment in a separate package mentioned – Defective pieces as required, not for use.”

My question to you is, in which area of your life would you like to attain this attitude of excellence? And how can you attain that?

Hook From The Book

“If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.” ― Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami

Movie Motivation

“If I cannot be the Sun that shines upon the Earth, I can still be a lamp and light up my street.” This inspiring line from the inspiring movie 12th Fail reminds us that we can create the change in our own capacity in any and every moment of life.

This Week’s Winning Post

Reflect with Respect, not with Regret

See you next week with the 50th Golden Jubilee Episode of NLP Around You.

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thoughtful Thought

“In order to fix ourselves, we have to find the order of fixing.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“It is your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny.” – Tony Robbins

One Minute NLP – A powerful MCQ

How do you react when someone does something which is totally not aligned to what you expected them to do? Generally most people would get furious in such situations.

Now, how about being curious instead of being furious?

This is not about letting go of your expectations from the person, but rather being in the state of mind to curiously wonder what is it that is making that person behave in such a manner that is totally unexpected or uncalled for. To help you to integrate this thought process in your daily life, let me share with you my favourite MCQ – the Magical Curiosity Question.

The MCQ that you need to ask yourself in that moment is “What needs to happen in my life for me to think or behave like that?”

This powerful question, when processed with genuine curiosity about the other person’s model of the world, allows you to possibly see a different perspective and examine what kind of resourcefulness (or lack of it) that person is behaving from, or what could possibly be the positive intention of that behaviour if you could imagine yourself doing that behaviour.

I invite you to explore life with this MCQ, and share your experience with me.

Meta-Magic

“Dear Master, I am grateful that you accepted me with one arm, and I believe I have given all that I had to ace the Judo. It’s been three months under your guidance, and I await you to teach me the next move.” Asked Sui, a 10-year-old kid who had lost his left arm in an accident and, despite that, learnt Judo from his master.

“Yes, Sui, you have done wonders that even the ones with both hands cannot do. I am elated and proud to witness your journey. However, you don’t need to know any other move.” Master said this and smiled to give closure to their discussion. Sui could not ask for more and decided to trust the process.

After a few months, Sui performed in his first tournament. While his heart was racing fastest, he surprised himself by winning over 2 matches like a cakewalk. The third round was tricky, and Sui was not that hopeful. He kept buying time until the opponent got tired, and that’s when Sui used his only known move and won with flying colours again.

Sui had been at loggerheads in upcoming tournaments with more robust, sturdier and more experienced opponents. Still, none of that could stop Sui from winning every single time.

While the crowd was cheering, Sui’s mind had just one question echoing. While returning home with the master, he opened his heart and asked, “Master, How come I won every tournament by knowing just one move, that too against the ones who were masters like you?”

The master smiled,” Sui, you won because of 2 reasons. First, you aced the toughest move of judo. Second, to crack the agility of this move, the opponent has only one option, i.e. to attack your left arm, which you don’t have.”

My question to you is – What is the strength of your weakness?

Hook From The Book

“The driven, passionate ones give their best on ordinary days and that is why they are extraordinary.” ― Twinkle Khanna, Mrs Funnybones: She’s just like You and a lot like Me

Movie Motivation

“Zindagi jab muh pe darwaza bandh karti hai, tab  usey kholna nahi, todna padta hai” (translated to “When life shuts a door on your face, then instead of opening it, you need to break it”) This metaphorical line from the movie Ghoomer is a reminder that hardships are an opportunity to come up with more innovative solutions.

This Week’s Winning Post

Learn the unhelpful patterns to unlearn them

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria