With heartfelt gratitude, today’s newsletter contains a cherry-picked surprise news that I am so excited to share with you.

Thoughtful Thought

“If love is blind, make self-love your walking stick.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“The person most in control is the person who can give up control.”- Frederick Salomon Perls (Fritz Perls)

One Minute NLP – The 4 Stages of Learning

If learning is the seed, awareness is the fertilizer. And here I am referring to the awareness about the stage of learning you are at, with respect to every skill or behaviour or ability.

Let us explore the four stages of learning.

Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence (UI): “I don’t know that I don’t know”

– This includes all the things whose existence you are not even aware of. And thus, you don’t even know that you don’t know it.

For example, as an infant, even before you learned to ride a bicycle, there was a time when you may not have even seen a bicycle.

Even today, as an adult, there may still be several things, that we don’t even know, exist around. With respect to these elements, we are in the stage of UI.

Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence (CI): “I know that I don’t know”

– This applies to all those things whose existence you are well aware of, and yet conscious about the fact that you don’t know how to perform or operate them.

Continuing the example of the bicycle, as an infant sees other kids riding a bicycle, there is now an awareness of its existence and also an awareness of not knowing how to ride it.

As of today, what are the various things in your life that you are aware of not knowing much about it? Some examples could be a foreign language, a musical instrument, robotics, scuba diving or other such activities which you have chosen not to learn or get further in depth of.

Stage 3: Conscious Competence (CC): “I know that I know”

– This applies to all those things whose existence you are well aware of, and yet conscious about the fact that you know how to perform or operate them.

When the child starts riding the bicycle, the child is now aware of the learning process. This is the stage that involves practicing, repetitions, conscious efforts, and even mistakes which act as a part of learning.

What are those aspects of your personal and professional life where you are learning by practicing, by doing, and consciously stacking up the knowledge for future implementation? Some examples could be a foreign language that you are currently learning, a musical instrument you are practicing, a profession or course that you are undergoing to master your skills, etc.

Stage 4: Unconscious Competence (UC): “I don’t know that I know”

– Something which is so naturally imbibed in you that it becomes an unconscious habit.

Once the child has learned how to ride the bicycle, it eventually reaches a stage when the moment you get on the bicycle you ride across distances without even being aware that you are balancing, pedaling, and applying all the various nitty-gritties in such a way that is so naturally and unconsciously happening at the moment.

What are those skills or abilities which are at your level of UC? For example: driving a car, photography, being naturally kind and trustworthy to people. These are usually those skills or abilities where other people compliment you and you wonder – what’s the big deal? That’s because it is a big deal for them, whereas for you it is simply automatic.

When you are aware of the stage of your learning, it becomes easy to sail your boat into deep waters as you can map your journey about how and when you will take the stride.

Meta- Magic – What Stones Are You Picking?

A young man named Hiroshi was perplexed and overwhelmed by his never-ending trail of thoughts. He could never attain the state of calm due to random thoughts constantly erupting out of nowhere.

He got to know about a monk who lived on the outskirts of the town near the river and immediately set off hoping to get a solution. He explained to the monk, “Sir, how do I empty my mind and attain peace? It has become a dump yard of thoughts as if my mind is being continuously pelted with an array of stones. I am disconnected from myself. Please help.”

The monk in response turned his head towards the river and replied while throwing a stone in the calm river, “What did you see just happening?”

Hiroshi replied, “Well, the calm river got some ripples once you threw the stone, but after some time the ripples settled and the calmness of the water resumed.”

The monk smiled, “Our mind is this river and thoughts are the stones. It will become calm after some time but only if you stop throwing more stones in it.”

Hiroshi understood, yet he could not decipher, how to stop these stones, so he mustered up courage and asked, “Sir, how do I stop these stones?”

The monk asked him to follow him for a long walk. Hiroshi was asked to pick up the stones along the way, look at them closely, and describe each stone to the monk. After picking a handful, Hiroshi felt the weight and expressed his desire to put the stones down.

The monk replied, “This is where you need to draw the line, Hiroshi. Instead of picking every stone (thought) coming your way, you need to mindfully choose the stone or the thought that you would entertain. Each time you pick a stone, ask yourself- Is this stone going to help me to be calmer and happier or not? You will have your answer.”

My question to you is: Are you aware of the number of stones (thoughts) you pick every day? How do you make sure that you are picking the right stone?

Hook From The Book

“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.”- An Autobiography by Agatha Christie

Movie Motivation

This week’s movie motivation is contributed by Karzan.

Context: The movie revolves around this magical artifact called the “Dragon Scroll” which is said to contain secrets of the universe that would grant unlimited power and knowledge to whoever reads it. But when Po (the Panda) is chosen to read it, he finds out that it is just a blank scroll made of some reflective paper. This leaves him and his friends confused and perplexed.

Later in the movie, Mr. Ping drops the truth bomb on Po that there is in fact no secret ingredient! It is just the people’s belief that makes them think the soup is special. This leads Po to uncover the true meaning of the Dragon Scroll. That is, there is no secret to unlocking unlimited power and knowledge, it’s you who has the ability to unlock unlimited power and knowledge.

This Week’s Winning Post

From one Author and NLP Trainer to another

Surprise News of the Week

I am delighted to share that I have been nominated for the award of Best Executive Coach 2023. The winners will be determined by public votes and evaluation by a Jury Panel of renowned industry experts. You can cast your vote here: https://www.coachawards.com/executivecoach/dr.-mehernosh-j-randeria Also, please do share this with all your contacts with a request to cast their vote too. Thank you for all your love! See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh

The last 2 episodes would have allowed you to reflect on your sources of strength and power, which includes NLP Around You.

Thoughtful Thought

“Life is a tightrope, where rather than avoiding to fall, find your balance.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“The currency of living is how you spend the moments of your life.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – 5 Principles to achieve a successful outcome

In NLP, a Goal or End-result is often referred to as an Outcome. Here are the 5 Principles to achieve a successful outcome.

1. Know Your Outcome Precisely

If your outcome/goal is not clear, it is not a goal, but just a desire. A well-defined goal is like a well-nourished body, infused with all the needed vitamins to live vitally. A clearly defined goal/outcome is not about knowing just “What” you want, but also “why” you want it and also “by when” you are going to accomplish it.

2. Be The Action Hero

If a goal without clarity is mal-nourishment, a goal without action is a body without oxygen. The actions you will take are just one side of it, but how much action to take every day and how much to delegate, and how to get going is where one needs to shed light on.

3. Sense Sensibly (have sensory acuity)

Notice the results you get from your actions. Are your actions taking you closer, or further away, from your goal? Consider knock-on and delayed effects as well as the obvious, immediate ones.

4. Be flexible

If what you have been doing isn’t working, do something else. If plan A is not working, choose plan B. Change plans, not goals. If a habit is not working, change the habit. If the environment is not conducive, tweak it. If your own identity is a roadblock, then modify it and add a new one. Do whatever it takes, till you make it a success. Have a 3D view of solutions.

5. Work from the psychology and the physiology of excellence

Mind and body are one system. Your breathing, posture and general physical state affect your thoughts and emotions. Get yourself into the best possible state – physically, emotionally, mentally – and then take action.

Meta- Magic – What can we learn from a cherry blossom?

The wisest monk of a village in the Himalayas was once approached by a young man, who was fed up and overwhelmed by the unpredicted tapestry of life and by the unforeseen events in life, and was now seeking peace.

“Oh, Wisest Monk! I have heard a lot about you. Could you please tell me how can I get peace?” Asked the young man with the warmest and humblest smile.

The monk asked the young man to take a walk with him. They both walked in silence while the young man kept his patience alive. After reaching under a gigantic cherry tree, the monk stopped. There were many cherry blossoms fallen on the ground. He picked one, held it closer, and smiled while looking at the young man.

“Oh young man! Tell me what can you learn about peace from this cherry blossom?” asked the monk. The young man was puzzled and said he never thought that a cherry blossom can teach something about peace and he waited for the monk’s answer.

“This cherry blossom is detached from its existence. It sprouts at its own pace and grace, and lightens up the beauty around it. When the right time comes, it surrenders to dwindle down without worrying or complaining, which allows the moment to sink in. Peace can be sought in graceful acceptance of things around us. Are you ready to be a cherry blossom now?”

The young man was speechless and after letting the insightful guidance sink in, he just nodded with a smile.

Hook From The Book

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” — The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Movie Motivation

Today’s movie motivation is contributed by Kadambari Singhania

“Arre beta… tum jaise talented bachche hote na… soda mein iss bubbles ki tarah hote hain… Woh aise hi upar aate hain, apne aap… unhe koi nahi rok sakta.” (translated as: Talented children like you, are like bubbles in soda, they come up by themselves, nobody can stop them.). This dialogue from Secret Superstar uses a wonderful metaphor to describe that talent cannot be suppressed, just like the bubbles in a soda.

And that’s yet another interesting example of finding magic in the mundane with the power of metaphors.

Blog of the Week:

On the occasion of Independence Day this week, here’s my latest blog on how you can release your inner freedom with NLP.

http://w3coach.com/independence-day-with-nlp/

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

When you choose to simply be in the moment, you notice the finest of nuances around you. Some of these nuances are handpicked for you in this newsletter NLP Around You.

Thoughtful Thought

“When life is not a bed of roses, choose your pillow wisely.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Most people plan by disaster. They think of what can go wrong and then they master it.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – The Filters of Communication

In the last three editions, we dived into ‘deletion, distortion and generalisation’. These are known as ‘Communication Filters’. These are the filters that facilitate the meaning-making function of our mind. The way we perceive information is based on this meaning-making. Imagine there are 2 students who fail a competitive exam. Let’s examine what could be the different thought processes of these students:

Student A: I always fail, I knew I would not make it, I am a duffer, I don’t even know how to study properly, I am distracted, I have other things that I have to pay attention to, I am useless.

Student B: I failed this time, I can do better next time, I am yet to learn how to crack this exam, I will re-prioritise the various things where my attention is currently divided, I am figuring out which part of the test I need to practice on.

Now think about it. Which of the 2 students is using the filters of deletion, distortion and generalization?

The answer is BOTH!!! Yes, Both. And that’s the crux of understanding that these filters are not always unhelpful. We tend to apply them either in helpful ways or unhelpful ways. Student A chooses to delete, distort and generalise the failure in a limiting manner, whereas Student B chooses to apply these filters in a more empowering manner.

Your inner chatter in your daily life can either be handcuffed by these filters or liberated because of them.

Meta- Magic – Do You Use All Your Strength?

A little boy was trying hard to push a huge log of wood in a park, while his father kept encouraging him by telling him that he could do it. “Come on son! Use all your strength. You’ll do it.”

Exasperatingly, the little boy gave it one more shot and could not succeed even then. He turned towards his father with dropped shoulders and dull eyes and began to fret by saying, “Dad, I can’t do it.”

“Son, you did not follow my advice. I asked you to use all of your strength. You did not ask me to help you.”

My Questions to you all: Do you use all of your strength?

AND more importantly, in order to use all your strength, are you first able to recognise all your strength?

Hook From The Book

“The greatest gap in the world is the gap between knowing and doing.”– The One Truth By Jon Gordon

Movie Motivation

This week’s movie dialogue is contributed by Zeel Chapaneri.

“Zindagi mein jab koi pattern banta ya koi aadat banti dikhai de na….toh uske bare mein acchi tarah se sochna chahiye….Genius is about knowing when to stop.” from the movie Dear Zindagi. Translated as “In life, whenever you notice a pattern or a habit getting created, it is time to think about it properly… Genius is about knowing when to stop (the pattern)”

Zeel shares that this has helped her a lot in identifying the patterns and overcoming them.

And interestingly, these patterns are formed by none other than the above filters of deletion, distortion and generalisation. Even more interesting is that each person forms their own unique patterns inspite of experiencing similar real-life situations.

This Week’s Winning Post:

If This Then That

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

When you find your cheerleaders, the cheerleaders find their tribe to cheer each other too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about my new logo and how it resonates with you. Let the new W3 logo signify the strength of this community that we are creating together.

Thoughtful Thought

“Transformation is waiting for you at the other side of your comfort zone.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote corner

“Sometimes people say, ‘One day you’re going to look back at this and laugh.’ My question is – ‘why wait?’” – Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Distortion

“I know you don’t like me.”

“It’s bad to be inconsistent.”

“You just shouted at me which means you don’t like me.”

Having a deja-vu reading the above sentences? Well, we all do.

When we are making /getting such statements, we are missing out on the deeper levels of consciousness. Something might have happened in the past, and we, the intelligent beings that we are, connect the dots and find the patterns while making such statements. This process in NLP is known as distortion. In simple terms, Distortion is the process of creating associations in our head linking one phenomenon with another. When created in an unempowering manner, distortions often keep us away from reality and thus trap us in our own patterns of judgements and other overwhelming emotions.

The right antidote to distortion is ‘right questions’

“What makes you say that I don’t like you?”

“According to whom is it bad to be inconsistent?”

“Have someone ever shouted at someone they like?”

“Have you ever bothered to shout at someone you don’t like?”

NLP is all about asking the right question because it believes that the answers are always within you.

PS: Not all distortions are limiting. One needs to figure out which are empowering and which are not helping in holistic growth.

Meta-Magic – The Art of Simply Being

A carpenter was walking through a dense forest with his apprentice. They saw a magnanimous oak tree on the way, which made them stop and sink into its enormity. Awestruck by the life-size aura of the tree, the apprentice asked, “Master, what made this tree so extraordinarily tall?”

“It’s uselessness.” Replied the master carpenter, which perplexed the apprentice.

On being probed further, the master added, “Had this tree been considered useful to make furniture and other things, it would have been chopped long back. Since it was not, it was allowed to grow in silence and solitude without wanting to prove its worth to the world. It is this very uselessness that became its power to help it grow. Today it is a reminder to the world that there is magnetic power in simply embracing our true essence without expectations or wanting to prove one’s worth to the world. The power is known as the art of simply being.”

Hook From The Book

“The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”- 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

Movie Motivation

This week’s movie motivation is featured with thanks to Kadambari Singhania

“It’s you! You… are a block of wood!” from the movie Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium

The context of this dialogue is explained here: Mr. Magorium, the 243-year-old eccentric owner of “the most fantastic, most magical, most wonderful, toy store in the world”, gives Molly Mahoney the Congreve Cube – supposedly “a magical block of wood” – and asks Molly what might happen “if someone just once believed in it”. But Molly is not able to make this cube do anything… until “the Mutant” shows her that in fact, SHE is the block of wood.

How do you relate to this dialogue? In Kadambari’s words: “We also tend to forget so often that the magic is inside of us, and that what we need to believe in… is ourselves. This line keeps reminding me that I am a block of wood… I AM MAGIC. It basically helps me counter the imposter syndrome, I guess.”

Get your favourite dialogue featured in this Newsletter

Would you like your favourite movie dialogue to be featured in the Movie Motivation section of this newsletter? If yes, then reply to these 2 simple fun questions:

1. What is your favourite movie dialogue?

2. How do you personally resonate with that dialogue?

Weekly Winner Post

What could you do when you feel like giving up?

See you again next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

When you receive this weekly newsletter, what label are you giving it? Just another email in your inbox or a thought-provoking nudge?

Thoughtful Thought

“Awareness and reflection are two vital vitamins of growth. Nourish your mind wisely.” – Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“The truth is, people don’t stay the same. People either get better, or they get worse.” – Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Deletion

Deletion in NLP is ignoring/overlooking/skipping a certain aspect of a communication or information, because it doesn’t resonate with our thoughts, beliefs and experiences. It is like that toss, where just because you are seeing one side of the coin, you begin to assume that there is only one side.

The human mind is often hardwired to see only what it wants to see and hear what it wants to hear. It can also be called ‘filtered sensory experience’, which is both good and bad.

When it comes to challenging and crucial situations, deleting the much-needed info often drives the communication downhill. Many unresourceful patterns, unhelpful habit loops, and limiting beliefs are the result of ‘Deletion’ taking the driver’s seat on the ride called perception.

Examples: “I am sure they won’t get it”, “This newsletter will take you to the other side”

In the above-mentioned statements, some very important aspects are overlooked. Let’s see how to break such patterns by asking the right questions.

1. Who are ‘they’ here?
2. What part are they not getting?
3. What is the other side about?

PS: Not all deletions are limiting. One needs to figure out which are empowering and which are not helping in holistic growth.

Meta-Magic – Who are your silent cheerleaders?

A highly popular restaurant, famous for its finger-licking breakfast, had the highest footfall compared to all other eateries in the locality. One day, a customer noticed a feeble, shabby man in tattered clothes, who devoured his breakfast amidst the crowd and sneaked out without paying the bill. The customer duly decided to inform the restaurant owner.

To his surprise, the owner mentioned that he already knew about him and said, “It is because of him that my restaurant gets the highest footfall in this locality!” This perplexed the customer. On probing more, the owner shared that he had received several complaints about this particular “free-rider” from other customers too. When he received the first complaint itself, the owner had chosen to observe the shabby man before reprimanding him. He found out that the free-rider is a beggar stationed in the nearby street, and was regularly eating at the restaurant without paying the bill. The owner disclosed – “I observed that this shabby man used to kneel to God and always pray for more crowd in the restaurant, so that he could sneak in secretly and eat. Fortunately, his prayer was heard every single day and the footfall kept on rising. My joy of having the highest number of customers is actually the outcome of that shabby man’s prayers. How can I charge him when I am indebted to him?”

Often in our joyous times, we tend to ignore/overlook people who are constantly praying for our success, even if it may be for their own ulterior motives.

My Question to you is: Do you recognise these silent cheerleaders and express gratitude to them?

Well, please consider this story as my token of gratitude to YOU who never misses to inhale this newsletter as much needed vitamin for life’s vitality.

Hook From The Book

“Being the light means turning your light on, so that you can be the light, not be their light. Only they can be their light. As you connect with your own light source, you then effortlessly light up the way for others to connect with theirs. Be The Lighthouse, Not the Electricity.” – Light is The New Black By Rebecca Campbell

Movie Motivation

Today’s featured dialogue is recommended by Amritaa Gupta Nair.

“Look beyond what you see” says Rafiki to Simba in The Lion King.

Sharing the words of Amritaa as to how this dialogue resonates with her:

“This is the reason why I loved the “Map is not the Territory” feature of NLP so much. I found myself believing that when we look beyond what we see (in others/situations), we deepen our understanding and hence get richer in experience.”

Once again let this be a reminder about what we conveniently choose to see and how we delete the information that we need to be giving a look at too.

Weekly Winning Post

What is the secret to prosperity?

Answer to last week’s Question of the Week

Last week I had asked you to notice any changes in the look and feel of this newsletter. I am amazed with your responses. Yes, it is the new W3 logo with the new brand colours.

Please feel free to share what this logo represents to you.

See you soon in the next episode!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria