Thoughtful Thought

“When a door closes, first check whether it is actually locked. Or does it just need a push?”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Remember, the journey is the destination.”- John Grinder

One Minute NLP – Goal v/s State

Often when asked to share their goals, some people reply with statements like “I want to be happy, I want to be confident, I want to be calm or less angry.”

What is important to understand from NLP perspective is that neither of these are goals. These are emotional states. 

So how do we know what is a Goal and what is a State? And how does it matter?

A goal is a tangible outcome and has an element of time involved because there has to be some action to achieve the goal.

States are usually nebulous and intangibly defined. There need not be any steps to achieve a state.

State is something you can have right now. People often make the mistake of assuming or believing that they can achieve a state only when some other criteria is fulfilled. Factually, you can have any feeling that you want right now without doing or achieving something to have it. Emotions, feelings, states have no requirement of time.

For example, if you want to feel happy, you can think of a happy moment right now. And as simply as you got your state of happiness, it can be as easily reversed by now thinking about a sad moment. 

So, the next time your mind comes up with a so-called goal that is actually an emotional state like wanting to be happy, ask yourself – 

“What do you need to do to be happy? What needs to happen to get that happiness?”

When you convert your emotional states to action, you move a step closer towards the clarity of your Goal. So, when you are planning your goals, make sure you check the difference between goals and state. Make your goals tangible and clear.

Meta-Magic – Lessons on Transformation:

A pack of insects inside a pond panicked when they noticed a particular pattern – Any insect that went to the surface of the pond would never come back! An emergency meeting was held.

“I will go to the surface this time, and I will make sure to come back and tell you all what is happening at the surface of the pond,” one of the insects blurted out with a swollen chest and determined eyes.

The next day, the insect sat on the floating lily leaves. Nothing happened for a few days, and he enjoyed the warmth of the Sun.

He did not know that the Sun’s warmth was strengthening his body to transform into a dragonfly and one day, he found wings flapping on his body. He was not an insect anymore. It was a rebirth as a dragonfly.

He relished the newfound freedom and used to take flight every day with joy. One day, he saw his reflection in the pond, and there, he saw the insects inside the pond. This reminded him of his promise.

He went near the water and tried to take a dip, but alas!

He realized he was now a dragonfly; he could not go back.

The erstwhile ant began to reflect on his process of transformation:

1. Had he not aspired, he would not have got wings. Those who did not aspire remained insects.
2. Once he got transformed, even if he wanted to, he could not go back to the pack. 
3. Even if he would have managed to go to the pack, they would not have recognized him. 
4. Despite wanting to do something for the pack, all he could do was to keep flying as a dragonfly and trust that someday someone would aspire while getting inspired by him.

My question to you is – What lessons did you learn from this process of transformation?

Hook From The Book

“Most problems we face in life, as I have said already, happen in our minds. Furthermore, problems generally exist in our concept of the past and the future. The past and the future don’t exist except in our minds.” – Richard Bandler, Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Movie Motivation

“Kahin pahunchne ke liye kahin se nikalna bahut zaroori hota hai.” (translated as: “In order to reach somewhere, it is very important to leave from somewhere” – This dialogue from the movie Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani is quite relatable to the Meta Magic story of the Ant’s transformation to the Dragonfly. How do you relate this with your life?

This Week’s Winning Post

How to Make Your Learning Your Lifestyle

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thoughtful Thought

“What you count on, makes you count.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“The effectiveness of the communication is not defined by the communication but by the response we get.”- Milton Erickson

One Minute NLP – Do Not Use NLP On Your Partner!!!

The field of NLP contains a wide range of tools and techniques that help you to improve your interpersonal relationships with people from various walks of your life. At the root of each technique also lies the mindset of applying these principles with the best intent for the other person.

My recent talk at the Global NLP Summit was on the application of this combination of mindset and skillsets for creating harmony in your relationships – by effective use of the NLP presuppositions, Rapport-building skills, Language tools, Meta Programs that go beyond the 5 Love Languages and much more.

Towards the end of the 90-minute talk, the audience was taken aback with bewilderment when I said these words – “Do Not Use NLP On Your Partner.” This made the audience wonder how they would use the techniques and principles for relationships if they were not going to use them on their partners. Well, here is the bottom line – “Do Not Use NLP On Your Partner. Use NLP WITH Your Partner.”

I invited all the participants to take the step forward and re-watch the session with their partners, not to change them, but to create the desired change together by using NLP with each other.

So next time when you think of using an NLP technique, ask yourself – are you going to use it ON people, or are you going to use it WITH people?

Meta-Magic – Who Would You Let In?

“What a blissful beginning of the day to have three monks at my doorstep! You must be hungry. Please come in and allow me to serve you.” Parvathi was elated to witness three monks in her compound while she opened the doors.

“Is your husband inside?” One of the monks asked gently in response before entering.

“No, why?” Parvathi asked curiously.

Another monk responded warmly, “We will come inside only once your husband comes home.” Parvathi was puzzled, but she requested they wait until her husband returned from the market.

Once the husband was back, Parvathi invited the monks again.

“We three don’t go inside any home together.” This time, a new puzzle erupted.

Before even Parvathi could ask why, one replied as if they read her mind: “I am Success, he is Wealth, and he is Love. We three don’t enter together. So ask your husband which one he wants to enter.”

Parvathi sprinted inside and spilled the beans to her husband.

“Let’s invite Wealth. It will resolve all our problems.” The husband replied with a sparkle in his eyes.

“But why not Success? Is Wealth the only Success for you? What about Success in other aspects? Let’s invite Success.” Parvathi pleaded with a second thought.

“Why are we not inviting Love? It will keep our family well-knit for the rest of our lives,” their daughter-in-law suggested.

Finally, Love was invited inside.

When Love monk entered, the other two followed him, perplexing Parvathi.

“You said that only one will go inside. I am ready to welcome all three of you, but how come you changed your mind and came inside while following Love?”

The monk Wealth and Success smiled and spoke in unison, “Had you picked up any of us, i.e. Wealth or Success, only one of us would have entered. But you hit the nail right. You picked up Love. Wherever Love goes, we follow.”

My Question- Who would you let in?

Hook From The Book

“Usually we react to challenges in a habitual way, with anger or avoidance. By breathing through a challenge, we can arrive at a more useful response.” – The Dalai Lama’s Cat & The Art of Purring By David Michie

Movie Motivation

“Insaan ko dibbe mein sirf tab hona chahiye jab woh mar chuka ho.” (translated as: “the only time a person should be in a box is when they are dead.”- This dialogue from the movie Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara highlights the importance of thinking Outside The Box. What boxes are you choosing to put yourself in?

This Week’s Winning Post

An interesting Insta Live discussion on The Language of Success with Life Coach Ruhee

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Presently as the Global NLP Summit is in progress as I write this, I am really excited to play a dual role – that of a Speaker as well as that of a Learner, continuing to learn from the Stalwarts in the field of NLP. Happy to share with you that my session on “NLP – The Secret Ingredient of Successful Relationships” has been rated as one of the sessions with the highest attendance.

Thoughtful Thought

“It is ok to diverge because ultimately it will all converge.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Understand the world from another’s point of view. Then, and only then, will you understand the meaning of love.”- John Grinder

One Minute NLP – What you hold on to is holding you!

In the recently released Indian movie “Merry Christmas”, a dialogue exchange between Katrina  Kaif and Vijay Setupati was a reminder of subconscious anchors in our mind.

Vijay shows her a ring he had kept for his lady love, who had passed away 7 years ago. When Katrina asks why he had still kept the ring, he replies – “Jab bhool jaunga, tab fek dunga.” (I will throw it away when I forget her.)

Katrina replied with a sleight of mouth pattern – “jab fek doge tab bhool jaoge.” (When you throw it away, you will forget her.)

The realisation I got as a result of this dialogue is that What you hold on to, is actually holding you.

Meta-Magic – What Are You Carrying Inside?

An Elephant and a Dog became pregnant simultaneously. Both being friends, they were elated as they would get more time to spend together this way.

Three months later, the Dog delivered six puppies, while there was no news from the Elephant’s side. Within few months, the Dog got pregnant again and delivered seven more pups. The Dog was puzzled and concerned about his friend Elephant as there was no news about delivery.

Time flew, and it had been 18 months so far since the Dog had delivered thrice and was waiting for the good news from the Elephant. Finally, it mustered up the courage and asked the Elephant, “My dear Elephant, are you sure you are pregnant?”

On getting a quizzical look from the Elephant, the Dog explained further, “It’s been 18 months, and we conceived together; I have delivered thrice, and I am concerned about what is taking you so long to deliver if you are pregnant?”

This time, the Elephant smiled and said, “Oh my dear Dog, I am carrying an Elephant within, not a Dog. For us, it takes two years to deliver one time.”

The Elephant added, “When my gigantic baby hits the ground, the Earth feels it. The whole forest and even humans watch in awe and admiration when it walks. It is not about how fast I deliver but about how gigantic and charismatic I deliver.”

If you are fretting over your desire not being fulfilled compared to others, remember to ask yourself- “What am I carrying inside me?” Big dreams take time to be delivered.

Hook From The Book

“Feeling good doesn’t just end with feeling good. It actually changes our patterns of thought and behaviour.” – Ali Abdaal, Feel Good Productivity 

Movie Motivation

“Sometimes the wrong train will get you to the right station.” – This dialogue from the movie LunchBox somewhere connects to the Thoughtful Thought above. What appears to be divergent initially may ultimately converge to your final destination.

This Week’s Winning Post

The Communication Model of the Mind

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thank you for your thoughtful response to the Thoughtful Calendar 2024. This week has been another fantastic week with the launch of The W3 NLP Club – an exclusive space designed just for the W3 NLP Alumni to keep the NLP magic alive by staying connected to the transformative learnings long after the course has concluded. And in case you are yet to commence your NLP journey, here is your invite to join the NLP Foundation Course for free now: www.learnnlp.in

Thoughtful Thought

“Your path to Productivity consists of 3Ps – Pause, Ponder and Prioritise.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Being humble to superiors is duty; to equals is courtesy; to inferiors is nobleness; and to all, safety.”- Bruce Lee

One Minute NLP – The Secret Ingredient in Relationships

In case you are wondering what is the secret ingredient for successful relationships, here is a metaphor that I shared in last Wednesday’s NLP Practice session on “The Art of Influence”. When you look at people around you who are in a harmonious loving relationship that may appear to be absolutely effortless on their part, remind yourself of the duck that swims so apparently effortlessly on water. Beneath the surface, you would notice the duck constantly pedalling non-stop to ensure that a smooth sailing. Nurturing your relationship is akin to that pedalling that is constant and continuous beneath the surface, and yet resulting in a seamless effortless and beautiful relationship.

Meta-Magic – You are The Light You are Looking For

“The world is so full of darkness,” cribbed the Cave to the Sun. The Sun could not fathom what darkness meant and tried very hard to explain to the Cave how the world actually beams bright with light. The Cave was unable to relate to the concept of a bright life. Even after an extended banter, neither could comprehend each other’s perception.

“Why don’t we swap places to understand better?” The Sun suggested with raised eyebrows. The Cave nodded with a yes. 

First, the Cave went up to the Sun to see the world. “Oh! You were right, my friend Sun. It is all illuminated and beautiful. Nevertheless, now you’ll get to see my truth too. It’s your time to come down and see where I have been living.” 

When the Sun reached down, he exclaimed in shock, “What! Where is the darkness? It is all so luminous, my dear Cave friend.” As the Sun carried his light with him, he could not witness the darkness that was there before he arrived.

Those who are illuminated like the Sun find solace regardless of external circumstances. Even in the face of adversity, they manage to discover blessings, whereas those who harbour darkness (negativity, fear, doubt) unwittingly become like a cave – hollow and filled with internal turmoil.

My question to you is: Are you ready to discover the enlightenment within you in 2024?

Hook From The Book

“New goals don’t deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is a process, not an outcome. For this reason, all of your energy should go into building better habits, not chasing better results.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits

Movie Motivation

“Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” This dialogue from the movie Dead Poets Society reminds us about always being in the “Cause” mode and doing whatever it takes to achieve your outcome.

This Week’s Winning Post

What are you counting on?

To find out more about the Secret Ingredient of Successful Relationships, please use the discount code Mehernosh10 when you register for the Global NLP Summit 2024 where I will be sharing more powerful insights to help you work towards a more harmonious relationship in your life. Here is your link to register for the summit: www.globalnlpsummit.com 

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Wish you a Very Happy and Fantastic New Year 2024. To help you start the year on a thoughtful note, here is a unique offering for you: The THOUGHTFUL CALENDAR 2024 – A desktop calendar with a compilation of the best 12 thought-provoking quotes – one quote for each month from the book “Thoughtfully Yours” – a perfect New Year gifting idea too. Get your copy here.

Thoughtful Thought

“Be a WIP till you RIP”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“What happens to our thoughts as we clothe them in language, and how faithfully are they preserved when our listeners undress them?”- John Seymour, Introducing Neuro-linguistic Programming: The New Psychology of Personal Excellence

One Minute NLP – Keep Going Forward 2024

Trust you were able to apply the learnings from the video recording shared last week of RRR – Reflect, Reset, Rise – the transition from 2023 to 2024.

This week, I would love to share with you another power-packed session on taking action on your goals for 2024: Keep Going Forward: 2024 

P.S.: The access to this video is available only for a limited period. To gain maximum value from this session, please watch it latest by 15th January 2024.

Meta-Magic – Can You Sleep When The Wind Blows?

“How can I trust a thin young lad like you to take care for my whole farm in this stormy land?” Asked John, the owner of a farmland at Atlantic seacoast.

The new year brought new hope for John when Lenny accepted to work on the farm, after many other  men had declined the offer fearing the dreadful storms in that locality.

“Well, I can sleep when the wind blows,” answered Lenny while shrugging his shoulders and gazing confidently into John’s eyes. Though John could not decipher what Lenny said, he chose to hire him out of his own desperation for help.

Lenny worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and John felt satisfied with his choice too.

After a few weeks, a tornado hit the seashore and woke John with a jolt. He rushed to the farm and saw Lenny snoring loudly. He tried to wake him up, and all Lenny did was toss to the other side while mumbling, “No Sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows.”

Enraged and exasperated, John moved towards the farm to bring things under control by himself. He cursed himself for making his worst hiring mistake. When he sprinted towards the farm, he could not believe what he saw. To his surprise, he discovered all the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away.

Lenny’s words reverberated and made complete sense now. John returned to his bed to sleep peacefully while the wind blew, all because Lenny had well prepared in advance.

When you are prepared spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. My question to you is: Can you sleep when the wind blows?

Hook From The Book

“If you don’t pay appropriate attention to what has your attention, it will take more of your attention than it deserves.” – David Allen, Getting Things Done, The Art of Stress-free Productivity

Movie Motivation

“Taqat toh genda bhi lagata hai … lekin sher lagata hai taqat aur technique, dono … sher ban’na hai, genda nahi” (translated to: “Even a rhino has strength. But a lion has both – strength plus technique. In this world full off rhinos, be a lion.”) This dialogue from the movie Dangal can relate to the difference between Hard Work and Smart Work. How do you relate to this dialogue?

This Week’s Winning Post

Special New Year Blog: 5 Ultimate NLP Techniques to Make the Best of 2024

Finally, before we close for the week, here is another special New Year Gift. To help you imbibe the NLP learnings within you, you are invited to join the next NLP Foundation Course for free. Here are the complete details: www.learnnlp.in

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria