“Two things that never go out of fashion: Smiling eyes and generous heart.” – Dr Mehernosh J Randeria, Thoughtfully Yours, 2nd Edition

NLP Quote Corner

“You can teach a child the importance of pain by your behaviour. You can also teach a child the importance of no pain by your behaviour.” ― Milton Erickson

One Minute NLP – Mind Read

30-year-old Vaidehi was enjoying a leisurely afternoon with her mother during her first visit to her childhood home since her wedding. The duo basked in the winter sun’s warmth, relishing each other’s company.

As Vaidehi’s mother prepared to slice two apples for them to share, Vaidehi gestured to take both. She deftly cut into one apple and began savouring it. Just as her mother reached for the other apple, Vaidehi swiftly snatched it, slicing off a piece for herself.

This action puzzled her mother, prompting her to reflect on her daughter’s behaviour. She couldn’t help but question whether she had instilled the value of sharing in Vaidehi. Doubts about her own parenting surfaced as she contemplated, “Have I failed to teach her generosity?”

While her mother wrestled with these thoughts, Vaidehi interrupted, offering her a slice of the second apple, “Here you go ma. This one is sweeter and softer for you. I wanted to ensure you had the best one, so I tried both.”

At that moment, a single gesture shattered her mother’s question marks on her parenting.

In NLP, this phenomenon of jumping to conclusions without seeking clarification is known as “mind reading”. Whether your assumption is right or wrong, the point is that it was generated by you without them telling you anything about it. This may lead to disastrous misunderstandings and may hinder meaningful connections.

My question to you: In order to jump to your conclusions, what assumptions are you overlooking?

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Meta-Magic – Trust is a 2-way street

“Wow, Tina! You have the world’s most mouth-watering candies with you. Even my collection of exquisite marbles is nothing in front of these.” James exclaimed, still savouring one of the candies offered to him by Tina.

“Oh, Thank you, James. I really loved your collection of marbles too. But are you not comparing apples with oranges here?” Tina replied while chuckling.

“Hey, why don’t we exchange our stuff? We like each others’ stuff anyway.” James suggested with a sparkle in his eyes and hope reflecting in his gestures.

Tina agreed without hesitation, passing all her candies to James.

In return, James hideously kept one marble for himself, passing the rest to Tina.

Later that night, James found himself unable to sleep, wondering if Tina had also held onto some candies like he had kept one marble.

Tina, on the other hand, had a peaceful sleep that night.

My Question to you is: Are you doubting your partner’s 100% effort in the relationship just because you may have kept one marble back?

Hook From The Book

“Sometimes just to say your own truth out loud is enough to find others like you.” ― Matt Haig, The Midnight Library

Movie Motivation

“There’s nothing shameful in being a fool. But feeling proud of being a fool is shameful.” This quip from the movie Laapataa Ladies reminds us to be open about our limitations, reminding us to be humble in the knowledge that we don’t know what we don’t know.

This Week’s Winning Post

The Psychology of Money: Overcoming Emotional Barriers to Financial Success

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Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

The productivity paradox, or the idea that doing less can lead to more, might seem counterintuitive at first glance. However, there’s a substantial body of research and evidence supporting this concept. Here are four research-based facts along with metaphorical examples to help illustrate the point:

1. 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞:

A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that short breaks during the workday lead to improved focus and overall job satisfaction. If you drive your car without giving it time for rest and maintenance, it will eventually break down. The same works for the human body.

2. 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒔 𝑬𝒏𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝑬𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒚:

The Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, suggests that roughly 80% of results come from 20% of efforts. By identifying and prioritizing the most important tasks, you can achieve more with less effort.

3. 𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝑶𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚:

A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that consumers often perceive products with fewer options as higher quality. Similarly, focusing on producing high-quality work rather than simply churning out more can lead to greater satisfaction and success in the long run. Consider a painter who spends weeks meticulously crafting a masterpiece versus hastily producing multiple mediocre paintings. The masterpiece, despite taking longer to create, is likely to be more valued and appreciated.

4. 𝑺𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑵𝒐 𝑰𝒏𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝑬𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔:

Research published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that individuals who have difficulty saying no experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of well-being. Imagine a gardener who carefully prunes away unnecessary branches to allow the most important plants to thrive. By saying no to distractions, they ensure that their garden flourishes with vibrant blooms.

Which ones could you relate more with?

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Thoughtful Thought

“The journey towards greatness lies in the 3. C’s- Calibration, Congruence and Celebration..”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria, Thoughtfully Yours, 2nd Edition

NLP Quote Corner

“Truly the angels are come among us every day. Our difficulty is so often that in our vanity and worldliness we so utterly fail to recognise them for what they are.” ― Joseph O’Connor

One Minute NLP – Pacing and Leading

Are you fond of watching the Independence Day marching parade? It’s captivating to see everyone moving in perfect sync, almost as if connected by an invisible thread of rhythm. Have you ever pondered what makes it so mesmerizing?

The answer lies in a single word: synchronization.

Humans are inherently inclined towards matching and synchronization. Whether it’s the unity of a parade or the joy of discovering a fellow traveller from your hometown, we are wired to seek out common ground and move in tandem.

Effective communication shares similarities with a parade, where matching and pacing with your fellow conversationist are crucial. The only difference is that the matching and pacing in NLP is more of a mental process.

From ideas and beliefs to behaviours and words, mastering the Pacing & Leading technique in NLP can elevate your conversations to new heights of fluency.

Once you have established rapport through pacing by matching the other person’s non-verbal cues, such as breath rate or body language, you will be surprised to notice them following your subtle shifts.

In case they are not following you yet, it only means that you need to continue the mental parade for a while longer.

The guiding principle here is simple: “Meet them where they are, and then take them to where you want them to be.”

Meta-Magic – Are you thinking smartly or wisely?

“Oh what a wonderful day it had been. Had such a blast with all of you.” Rahul exclaimed joyously, stretching out.

“Shut up dude! Don’t you forget, we have a test tomorrow. What will we write?” Amit interjected, pacing back and forth in the dorm room.

Rahul, Amit, Jeevan and Manav were relishing the golden days of their lives: College days. They had partied hard today, leaving all worries about the upcoming test behind. But now, reality was creeping back, teasing them with its tongue out, as if to say, “Time for the ultimate challenge!!!”

“Oh come on! We might not be hard workers, but we are smart workers. Follow me; I’ve got a trick up my sleeve,” Whispered Manav, taking the baton of smartness in his hand.

The next day, the four of them arrived at the principal’s office enveloped in dirt. They admitted that they were not prepared for the exam as they had spent the whole night dragging their punctured car back to the hostel.

As they waited anxiously, they could hear their own heartbeats echoing in their ears. To their surprise, the principal ordered a re-test in three days. Filled with gratitude, they dove into studying for the retest.

On the day of the retest, each of them was placed in a separate room to take the test, but they didn’t mind because they had been given a chance to prepare well.

The test consisted of just two questions:

1) Your Name ____ (1 Point)

2) Which tire was flat? ____ (99 Points)

• Front Right
• Front Left
• Back Right
• Back Left

My Question: When you are thinking of solutions, are you thinking smart or are you thinking wise?

Hook From The Book

“He was a man of black and white. And she was color. All the color he had.” ― Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

Movie Motivation

“Jab log tumhare khilaaf bolne lage, samajh lo tarakki kar rahe ho.” Translated to “When you have a lot of critics, you should know you are going somewhere worth going.” This line from the movie Guru reminds us that even the most successful people were faced with severe criticism, but it was their resilience which ensured their success.

This Week’s Winning Post

10 Habits to Improve Your Productivity

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Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thoughtful Thought

“Follow the 3M’s to achieve financial freedom – Make Money, Manage Money and Multiple Money.” – Dr Mehernosh J Randeria, Thoughtfully Yours, 2nd Edition

NLP Quote Corner

“There are no bad ballplayers, there are only people who are not confident in their ability to learn.”- Robert Dilts

One Minute NLP – V.I.B.E.S

When preparing for a bath, the initial step is to ensure the water temperature suits your preference, isn’t it? Then, you adjust the flow, adjusting the knob until it’s just right, initiating the bathing process.

Similarly, effective communication transcends mere verbal exchange. It thrives when one delves beneath the surface, free from assumptions, judgments, or preconceived notions. How can you do that?

Much like regulating water temperature and flow, in communication, you may gauge a person’s V.I.B.E.S.

V – Voice (including speed, pitch, or tone),

I – Inclination (back posture, leaning, gestures, etc.),

B – Breathing (rate, depth, and location),

E – Eyes (movements, redness, pupil dilation, watering, and direction),

S – Skin (colour, muscle tone, or glow).

For instance, imagine a manager who notices that whenever a team member discusses feeling ‘unhappy,’ a crease forms between his eyebrows, his lips tighten, and his shoulders tense slightly. If, during a subsequent team meeting, the manager observes these same behaviours when the team member learns of a new task, those physiological changes might suggest dissatisfaction with the new requirement. Armed with this insight, the manager can respond appropriately.

Meta-Magic – An Inconsistent Equation

Today’s story is shared by NLP Practitioner Ronak Meswani.

“If you have 3 mangoes and I give you 2 more, how many mangoes will you have in total?” The teacher asked little John.

“I would have 6 mangoes in total,” John replied with a proud grin. This agitated the teacher, but she took a deeper breath as she repeated the question differently.

“Ok. If you have 3 apples and I give you 2 more, how many apples will you have in total?” The teacher raised her eyebrows while leaning a bit closer to John.

“5 apples in total, teacher,” John responded confidently, his tone unwavering. The teacher was flabbergasted by the inconsistency in John’s answers.

“How can 3 plus 2 mangoes equal 6, but 3 plus 2 apples equal 5?” The teacher held her breath to control her rising rage.

“Simple. Because I already have one mango in my bag.” John’s eyes sparkled as he shrugged his shoulders innocently.

In our interactions, we often overlook the hidden “mangoes” in our mental baggage — preconceived notions, judgments, and assumptions — that can disrupt the equation of successful communication. It’s high time we uncover these internal representations in order to facilitate meaningful conversations.

Hook From The Book

“It is always the little things that build up. Often there is no dramatic reason for discontent in marriages. It seeps in slowly over the years. You don’t even notice it creeping in. It happens, trickle by trickle. You do not realise when or how the easy familiarity gets replaced by a ‘taken-for-granted’ attitude over the years. By the time you do, it is often late. Habits have been formed, patterns have been set. And a comfort-zone have been established. A zone that is hard to get out of.”

― Preeti Shenoy, The Secret Wish List

Movie Motivation

“Koi tumhe tab tak nahin hara sakta jab tak tum khud se na haar jao” (Translated as “No one can defeat you until you give up on yourself”). This dialogue from the movie Sultan highlights the importance of self-belief and resilience, suggesting that victory is not solely about external competition but also about winning internal battles with one’s own doubts and fears.

This Week’s Winning Post

9 Presentation Secrets from Steve Jobs

Sharing is Caring

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Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

At the outset, I am happy to share that yet another successful NLP Practitioner Course was just completed for a senior cohort of a Fortune 500 Company specialising in information technology and consulting. Is your organisation NLP-trained?

Thoughtful Thought

“True love is where you don’t fall, but you evolve.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Flexibility comes from having multiple choices. Wisdom comes from having multiple perspectives.”- Robert Dilts

One Minute NLP – Discovery Frame

Can you swim in the pool with your party clothes on? No, right?

Let’s consider Discovery Frame as one such pool where the only swimming costume you can wear is mindfulness and complete presence in the moment. No fancy outfits like judgment, expectation or preconceived notions can swim into this mental frame.

When we embrace the Discovery Frame, we view things as they are, without any societal labels. Whether it’s learning a course or engaging in a conversation, the Discovery Frame encourages us to be fully present without the pressure of expecting a certain outcome.

It is the best way to learn anything because we tap into the zone without inhibitions. All the questions about what to know, why to learn, how to learn, and how much to learn are all filtered at the gateway of this zone by the gatekeeper named Discovery Frame.

The Discovery Frame anchors you in the present moment, providing a sense of calm and clarity. In this frame, all that matters is the here and now.

Meta-Magic – Does Your Environment Match Your Skills

“Mommy, why do we have a hump?” inquired a young camel to its mother as they reclined under the shade of a tree on a tranquil afternoon.

“Because, my dear, it serves as a reservoir, allowing us to store food for extended periods during our journeys across the desert. In the desert, the quest for food is nothing less than a treasure hunt,” replied the mother camel with a tender smile, her eyes gleaming with affection.

“Ah, and why do we have such long legs and sturdy, rounded feet?” queried the curious youngster.

“Those features enable us to traverse the sandy dunes of the desert with ease, my darling,” explained the mother camel, her joy evident as she blinked in response to her offspring’s innocence.

“Hmm, and what about our remarkably long eyelashes, Mom? Sometimes, they obstruct my vision,” remarked the baby camel, rolling its eyes while attempting to look at its own lashes.

The mother camel chuckled with delight. “Ah, my child, those lashes are our shield amidst the desert’s frequent sandstorms.”

Deep in thought, the baby camel pondered for a moment before posing another question. “Yet, despite these adaptations, why are we confined in the zoo?”

Our skills and talents are most valuable when applied in the appropriate context and circumstances. My question to you is – Are you currently situated in an environment where your skills and talents can flourish to their fullest extent?

Hook From The Book

“Sometimes, it is not so much about the things that we say; as it is about the things we do not. For those who try to listen, silence speaks louder than words” ― Nikita Singh, The Promise

Movie Motivation

“Itihaas se na sikhane wale khud itihaas ban jate hai” (translated to “Those who don’t take their lessons from history are bound to become history”) This dialogue from the movie Dasvi reminds us to reflect on our lessons from the past and integrate them into your future.

This Week’s Winning Post

How do you respond to conflicts?

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria