Lessons on Transformation

by | Feb 3, 2024 | NLP Around You | 0 comments

Thoughtful Thought

“When a door closes, first check whether it is actually locked. Or does it just need a push?”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria


NLP Quote Corner

“Remember, the journey is the destination.”- John Grinder


One Minute NLP – Goal v/s State

Often when asked to share their goals, some people reply with statements like “I want to be happy, I want to be confident, I want to be calm or less angry.”

What is important to understand from NLP perspective is that neither of these are goals. These are emotional states. 

So how do we know what is a Goal and what is a State? And how does it matter?

A goal is a tangible outcome and has an element of time involved because there has to be some action to achieve the goal.

States are usually nebulous and intangibly defined. There need not be any steps to achieve a state.

State is something you can have right now. People often make the mistake of assuming or believing that they can achieve a state only when some other criteria is fulfilled. Factually, you can have any feeling that you want right now without doing or achieving something to have it. Emotions, feelings, states have no requirement of time.

For example, if you want to feel happy, you can think of a happy moment right now. And as simply as you got your state of happiness, it can be as easily reversed by now thinking about a sad moment. 

So, the next time your mind comes up with a so-called goal that is actually an emotional state like wanting to be happy, ask yourself – 

“What do you need to do to be happy? What needs to happen to get that happiness?”

When you convert your emotional states to action, you move a step closer towards the clarity of your Goal. So, when you are planning your goals, make sure you check the difference between goals and state. Make your goals tangible and clear.

Meta-Magic – Lessons on Transformation:

A pack of insects inside a pond panicked when they noticed a particular pattern – Any insect that went to the surface of the pond would never come back! An emergency meeting was held.

“I will go to the surface this time, and I will make sure to come back and tell you all what is happening at the surface of the pond,” one of the insects blurted out with a swollen chest and determined eyes.

The next day, the insect sat on the floating lily leaves. Nothing happened for a few days, and he enjoyed the warmth of the Sun.

He did not know that the Sun’s warmth was strengthening his body to transform into a dragonfly and one day, he found wings flapping on his body. He was not an insect anymore. It was a rebirth as a dragonfly.

He relished the newfound freedom and used to take flight every day with joy. One day, he saw his reflection in the pond, and there, he saw the insects inside the pond. This reminded him of his promise.

He went near the water and tried to take a dip, but alas!

He realized he was now a dragonfly; he could not go back.

The erstwhile ant began to reflect on his process of transformation:

  1. Had he not aspired, he would not have got wings. Those who did not aspire remained insects.
  2. Once he got transformed, even if he wanted to, he could not go back to the pack. 
  3. Even if he would have managed to go to the pack, they would not have recognized him. 
  4. Despite wanting to do something for the pack, all he could do was to keep flying as a dragonfly and trust that someday someone would aspire while getting inspired by him.

My question to you is – What lessons did you learn from this process of transformation?


Hook From The Book

“Most problems we face in life, as I have said already, happen in our minds. Furthermore, problems generally exist in our concept of the past and the future. The past and the future don’t exist except in our minds.” – Richard Bandler, Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Movie Motivation

“Kahin pahunchne ke liye kahin se nikalna bahut zaroori hota hai.” (translated as: “In order to reach somewhere, it is very important to leave from somewhere” – This dialogue from the movie Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani is quite relatable to the Meta Magic story of the Ant’s transformation to the Dragonfly. How do you relate this with your life?


This Week’s Winning Post

How to Make Your Learning Your Lifestyle


Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

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