Don’t Use NLP On Your Partner

by | Jan 27, 2024 | NLP Around You | 0 comments

Thoughtful Thought

“What you count on, makes you count.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria


NLP Quote Corner

“The effectiveness of the communication is not defined by the communication but by the response we get.”- Milton Erickson


One Minute NLP – Do Not Use NLP On Your Partner!!!

The field of NLP contains a wide range of tools and techniques that help you to improve your interpersonal relationships with people from various walks of your life. At the root of each technique also lies the mindset of applying these principles with the best intent for the other person.

My recent talk at the Global NLP Summit was on the application of this combination of mindset and skillsets for creating harmony in your relationships – by effective use of the NLP presuppositions, Rapport-building skills, Language tools, Meta Programs that go beyond the 5 Love Languages and much more.

Towards the end of the 90-minute talk, the audience was taken aback with bewilderment when I said these words – “Do Not Use NLP On Your Partner.” This made the audience wonder how they would use the techniques and principles for relationships if they were not going to use them on their partners. Well, here is the bottom line – “Do Not Use NLP On Your Partner. Use NLP WITH Your Partner.”

I invited all the participants to take the step forward and re-watch the session with their partners, not to change them, but to create the desired change together by using NLP with each other.

So next time when you think of using an NLP technique, ask yourself – are you going to use it ON people, or are you going to use it WITH people?


Meta-Magic – Who Would You Let In?

“What a blissful beginning of the day to have three monks at my doorstep! You must be hungry. Please come in and allow me to serve you.” Parvathi was elated to witness three monks in her compound while she opened the doors.

“Is your husband inside?” One of the monks asked gently in response before entering.

“No, why?” Parvathi asked curiously.

Another monk responded warmly, “We will come inside only once your husband comes home.” Parvathi was puzzled, but she requested they wait until her husband returned from the market.

Once the husband was back, Parvathi invited the monks again.

“We three don’t go inside any home together.” This time, a new puzzle erupted.

Before even Parvathi could ask why, one replied as if they read her mind: “I am Success, he is Wealth, and he is Love. We three don’t enter together. So ask your husband which one he wants to enter.”

Parvathi sprinted inside and spilled the beans to her husband.

“Let’s invite Wealth. It will resolve all our problems.” The husband replied with a sparkle in his eyes.

“But why not Success? Is Wealth the only Success for you? What about Success in other aspects? Let’s invite Success.” Parvathi pleaded with a second thought.

“Why are we not inviting Love? It will keep our family well-knit for the rest of our lives,” their daughter-in-law suggested.

Finally, Love was invited inside.

When Love monk entered, the other two followed him, perplexing Parvathi.

“You said that only one will go inside. I am ready to welcome all three of you, but how come you changed your mind and came inside while following Love?”

The monk Wealth and Success smiled and spoke in unison, “Had you picked up any of us, i.e. Wealth or Success, only one of us would have entered. But you hit the nail right. You picked up Love. Wherever Love goes, we follow.”

My Question- Who would you let in?


Hook From The Book

“Usually we react to challenges in a habitual way, with anger or avoidance. By breathing through a challenge, we can arrive at a more useful response.” – The Dalai Lama’s Cat & The Art of Purring By David Michie

Movie Motivation

“Insaan ko dibbe mein sirf tab hona chahiye jab woh mar chuka ho.” (translated as: “the only time a person should be in a box is when they are dead.”- This dialogue from the movie Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara highlights the importance of thinking Outside The Box. What boxes are you choosing to put yourself in?


This Week’s Winning Post

An interesting Insta Live discussion on The Language of Success with Life Coach Ruhee


Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

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