Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) makes certain presuppositions as its guiding force. These Beliefs of Excellence are convenient beliefs which, if you act as if they are true, they enable you to get better results for yourself and better results with other people whom you work with.

1. Everyone has a unique model of the world

Every individual has a unique combination of filters, with which he/she perceives the world. Hence every individual has a different model of the world.

 

2. Respect the other person’s model of the world

You may disagree with someone’s model of the world, but you need to respect that it’s different from yours, that it’s right for them. In doing so, you will be able to ensure a greater level of rapport and you will increase your chances of being able to assist them in coming up with a new and more empowering model that serves them better.

 

3. The map is not the territory

People respond to their own experiences, and not to reality. When someone describes their experience of life, those words are merely a representation of the model and not the actual experience itself. What they are describing is a completely filtered map of the actual land called reality.

This is why NLP is so powerful because it enables people to change their maps. Since what you are experiencing is not real anyways, you can use NLP processes to change your experience of the map in a way that works better for you.

 

4. People are not their behaviours

Irrespective of how someone is behaving, even if their behaviour may be destructive, inappropriate or damaging for themselves or for others, that is not who the person is. You are always more than your behaviours.

5. All behaviour is contextual

If you change the context of the behaviour, the meaning often will change.

6. All behaviour has a positive intention

Regardless of the inappropriateness or damaging nature of a behaviour, the highest level intention is always a positive one. To get someone to change an unwanted behaviour, they need to find other ways of getting the intention that the behaviour gives them, otherwise that behaviour won’t change.

7. The most reliable source of information about a person is their non-verbal communication

How they are behaving in the moment is much more important than what they are saying – especially while the person may tell you one thing, but their behaviour might be completely different and incongruent with what they are saying.

 

8. Everyone does the best they can with the resources they have

If people had better resources then they would behave differently. When you behave at your best, you are tapping into greater resources. When you are behaving at your worst, you aren’t tapping into as many resources as you would like to.

 

9. There are no unresourceful people only unresourceful states

If a person isn’t getting results that they want, it isn’t because they don’t have the resources. It’s because they are not in a state that is appropriate for them to access those resources.

 

10. Everyone has all the resources they need

It is not that we do not have the resources that we need in order to excel in life. The main concern is whether you are actually tapping into those resources fully and doing what you need to do or not. 

NLP helps you to tap into your complete potential and explore all the resources which are already there within you.

 

11. Meaning of the communication is in the response that you get

It doesn’t matter what you mean to say, what you intend to say, what you thought you said, what you thought you meant you said. The meaning of your communication is equal to the response that you get back from the other person.

12. Resistance in a person is a sign of lack of rapport

Whenever you get a resistance from any person, it is a sign that there is a lack of sufficient rapport either consciously or maybe even unconsciously. There is no such thing as a resistant person, only inflexible communicators.

To an NLP Practitioner, rapport isn’t something that just happens. It’s something you do. NLP teaches you powerful strategies to gain rapport.

 

13. You cannot not communicate

Communication is not limited to just verbal language. Even in silence, there is a strong element of communication. The non-verbal elements are equally important or at times even more important than the verbal components.

 

14. The person with the most flexibility of behaviour has the greatest influence on the outcome

NLP is about increasing your flexibility in the way you communicate and by increasing your flexibility, you dramatically increase the level of influence that you have over other people around you and on situations and circumstances.

15. All procedures should create choice and promote wholeness

All procedures must be designed to create choice and promote wholeness. All the techniques in NLP are designed to give yourself more choices in life and not to take them away.

 

16. Everyone is in charge of their Minds and therefore their Results

The results are ultimately the consequence of your beliefs and thought patterns. Your perceptions translate into your projections.

 

17. The mind and the body are part of the same system

Your psychology affects your physiology, and your physiology affects your psychology.

 

18. If someone can do it, anyone can do it.

This is the basis of modelling success. Once you find someone achieving the success, you realise that it is possible to achieve the success by you. With NLP, you can model your way to success.

 

NLP is not just a set of tools and techniques, NLP is a way of living that is guided by solid principles that come with their own processes to make you the person that you desire to be. To become an NLP Practitioner, get more details here: https://w3coach.com/events/

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Book Summary – Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Richard Bandler 

 

Introduction

Richard Bandler is the author of this book and also the co-creator of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). John Grinder and Bandler met at the University of California, Santa Cruz in the early 1970s and began to discuss their ideas on human behavior and effective ways to make changes that last forever. They developed the belief that humans form their opinions and perform due to the way they perceive their environment, and that changing of person’s perception can take place quickly.

What eventually became NLP was the practice of modeling behaviour to deliver a specific outcome. In other words, a mentally competent human being can watch how someone else does something successfully, and then simply duplicate that person’s actions and behaviors for the exact same result.

The successful achievement of desired goals happens through a process of studying the way people act and speak. You can then use proven techniques to persuade and convince them to help you achieve a particular result. 

Richard Bandler very basically illustrates the ability of NLP as something that allows “anyone to do something that anyone else has done.” He has authored several books on neurolinguistic programming, some with John Grinder and a few on his own. Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming is one of those solo efforts.

The Idea

The basis of this book is exactly as its title suggests. Richard Bandler believes that anyone can create the type of life they desire simply by applying NLP strategies, techniques, and truisms. In short, any negative behaviors you exhibit can be quickly changed. You simple model the actions, speech patterns, and mindset of people you would like to be like, while influencing and persuading others.

 

The author has helped tens of thousands of people from all walks of life, all ages and cultures, both men and women, to cure incurable addictions, fears and phobias. It is his expressed belief that the 35 proven NLP techniques taught in this book can help you also create whatever life you desire.

There are plenty of people around the world that claim a single session practicing the strategies taught in Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming was sufficient enough to rid themselves of negative habits and anxieties, and move on from past traumas that have halted their life and negatively affected it.

How the Book Is Laid Out

A Foreword is delivered by Doctor Paul McKenna, host of  “I Can Make You Thin” on The Learning Channel. He begins by comparing NLP to a mobile phone. When cellular phones first came to be they were large, bulky, not very capable and very expensive. Now mobile phones are smart, tiny and light, as well as affordable. McKenna makes the claim that Bandler’s early work creating NLP was not near as powerful and easy to get your hands on as it is currently. He refers to NLP as “psychological technology” capable of quickly, sometimes instantly, removing addiction and other negative behaviors and delivering powerful life-changes.

 

The foreword is followed by a note by the book’s editor, Owen Fitzpatric, who chimes in with his belief that NLP is only now being accepted by the field of psychology for the power it has. He reminds us that the old psychological belief was that time was needed to affect positive change in one’s life. He points to Bandler’s NLP techniques and strategies delivered in this book as capable of causing much quicker and more powerful changes in behavior that last, and sometimes are experienced instantly.

You first meet your author in the book’s Preface. He moves through his life from the 1970s to present time, and discusses the practical base for his beliefs. You also learn that the book is broken down into 4 major sections: 

1. Understanding NLP and Your Psychological Process
2. Getting Over It
3. Getting Through It
4. Getting To It

 

An Introduction follows. You learn that the book was created as “a guide for your behavior” that helps you avoid therapy and make quick behavioral changes that have the biggest impact on your life. The author explains in his introduction that you only need one quick, bad experience to develop a phobia. Perhaps you were involved in a flight which nearly ended in a crash. That one instance could cause you to have a fear of flying. He explains that since you can develop fears, addictions and other negative behaviors and issues quickly, you can also just as quickly reprogram your brain in the opposite direction.

Part 1 begins with a lesson on the power of your unconscious. Bandler explains that learning to consciously reprogram your subconscious is the “freeway to change” that may be currently shut down in your mind. You are taught just how important the quality of your thinking is, and how to actually change your brain chemistry so that you control your thoughts, and that control leads to positive behaviors. The next bit of information is very powerful. You learn that it is actually easy to build new belief systems and behaviors when you develop a “structure of certainty” which is explained in detail.

Part 2, Getting Over It, is broken down into 6 sub-sections. This allows you to instantly access a particular area where you know you need to make serious changes. Those 6 sub-sections are:

• Bad Suggestions
• Fears and Phobias
• Bad Memories
• Grief
• Bad Relationships
• Bad Decisions

You learn to get past any addiction, trauma, emotion or fear that you currently suffer from in any of those areas using specific NLP techniques.

In Part 3, you learn how to Get Through specific instances that have caused you trouble in the past. The author uses physical recuperation, particularly negative habits and compulsions, stressful events, tests and obligations as real-world examples of problematic times you may experience. He shows exactly what NLP techniques should be used to render these previous problems powerless. This is explained in 6 sub-sections: 

 

• Habits and Compulsions
• Physical Recovery
• Resignation
• Big Events
• Tests (Exams and Interviews)
• Obligations

Part 4 is all about moving on to the achievement of success, fun, love and peacefulness in any area of your life. Bandler shows that by implementing the lessons in the first 3 parts of the book, you start to “Get To” those things in your life which you have long been desiring but have been incapable of achieving, which have been explained over 8 sub-sections:

• Fun
• Love
• Meeting People
• Important Duties
• Exercise
• Be More Organised
• Make More Money
• Make Big Decisions

 

A short Conclusion is followed by a Glossary of useful terms, and additional NLP reading resources are recommended.

 

 

Who Benefits from Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Richard Bandler?

If you have tried goal setting, hypnosis, meditation or some other method of achieving a desired mental state and failed, this book may be for you. Bandler provides plenty of research and real-world examples which back up his belief that you can model any behavior that you desire to have in your life. 

If you want to quit smoking, lose weight, stop drinking or stop being scared of simply being in public, these are all easily achievable. The author teaches you to change your brain chemistry and way of thinking quickly and easily. This leads to a change in the way you view your environment, allowing those thoughts to create new and positive behaviors.

 

Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming may benefit those people who may have failed using traditional behavioral change therapies and techniques in the past. The book is also hundreds or thousands of dollars less expensive than mentally intrusive psychotherapy lessons, and can be implemented literally instantly through a digital purchase.

 

Find more books recommended for NLP on www.w3coach.com/nlp-books

 

With Seasons Greetings for Diwali, it’s time to share some simple Personal Finance lessons that we can learn from the way we celebrate Diwali. Watch here

Type in your comments which principle you deeply directly relate to.

Get more details about the upcoming workshops from your W3 Coach by clicking here: https://w3coach.com/events/

Here is a complete compilation of the Video Series which was created during the initial days of the Lockdown, titled – “Kuch Kuch Karona – How to Stay Upbeat even in the Lockdown”

Do let me know in the comments below the section which resonated with you the most.

 

Episode 1: Setting up Your Morning Routine:

 

Episode 2 – Upskilling Yourself in 3 C’s:

 

Episode 3: Stay Fit, Stay S.A,F,E,:

 

Episode 4: Work From Home Special – Productivity Strategies:

 

 

Effective decision making is one of the secrets to a more enjoyable and satisfying life. Here is a proven 11-step process for mastering the art of decision-making and thereby enhancing the quality of your life.

1. Decide what you are aiming to accomplish.

Getting a clarity on the desired outcome is the first step to a smoother decision making process. What is the end result that you are hoping for?

• Maximize your income?
• Strengthen your relationship?
• Minimize the financial or emotional cost?
• Advance your career?

 

 

2. Make a list of your resources.

What resources do you possess that are applicable to following through on your possible options? Imagine you had to undertake renovation for your house. You would determine which tools you have available for the job and then make a plan based upon those available resources.

3. Brainstorm possible choices.

Make a long list of all the choices or options available to you. A better way to do this would be using the technique of mind mapping. An important aspect to note at this stage is to avoid judging your options too quickly. This is the step of idea generation. Do not mix this with idea evaluation. You can evaluate these options later.

4. Consider the odds of success.

For each idea, choice or option generated above, consider the odds of success. At this stage, you can discard the solutions which stand a lower chance of success.

5. Consider the time and money involved.

In addition to the resources you have already identified, weigh the choices with the resources that would be needed. A quick mental cost-benefit exercise will help to evaluate the options better.

6. What are the risks?

Assess the possibilities of what could go wrong and what are the ramifications of each option.

7. Is the upside worth the risk?

Some options are riskier than others, but the greater potential rewards are often worth the extra risk. Assess how much do you stand to gain.

8. What are the long-term implications?

Consider the consequences of each option beyond just the short term obvious scenarios. Who will be affected by your decision? What does your decision mean 10 years from now? What will you gain and sacrifice in the long-term?

9. Can you trust yourself to follow through?

A good decision that you can’t complete is no better than a poor decision or no decision at all. Sometimes the solution with the best likely outcome is too challenging to implement. Do you have the skills and the stamina to follow through?

10. Keep your values in mind.

Many options could be unacceptable due to your values. Keep your values in mind and you’ll be less likely to regret your decision later. Know what’s important to you.

11. Avoid taking too much time to make a solution.

There have been several studies on the differences between “satisficers” and “maximizers”.

• A satisficer looks for the quickest, easiest solution that meets their criteria. That doesn’t mean they settle. It means that they accept the first solution that satisfies their needs and run with it.
• A maximizer continues searching until the best possible solution is found.

Studies consistently show that satisficers are more successful and happier than maximizers. Avoid spending more time than necessary searching for a solution.

 

The most successful people make wise decisions, decide quickly, and follow through. Improving the quality and speed of your decisions may be the fastest path to a more satisfying life.

Making good decisions is important. Most challenges in life could have been avoided with wiser decisions. Most people take too much time to make decisions and they make decisions poorly. And, even worse, the surest way to ensure that you never make any progress is to never make any decisions.

 

For more powerful and relevant articles and secrets on enhancing your Wealth, Wisdom and Wellness, follow me on my personal blog https://w3coach.com/blog/ now.

Click here to connect with Your W3 Coach across all digital platforms.