By now, with more than 3,000+ subscribers within 2 months of this newsletter, you have confirmed my belief that you are not missing the right touchstone of success. Although this is just the ninth newsletter and there are miles to go to build milestones, I know that this is only making our bond stronger.

Thoughtful Thought Of The Week

“Let’s approach this May with the attitude of COME WHAT MAY!” – Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“You are born with only two fears. Fear of falling and fear of loud noise. All the rest is learned. And it’s a lot of work.” – Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP

The Other Side of Should & Must

I should be working till late night.

I should be going to gym.

I must get this for my kid else he will be labelled as….

I must enrol for this course….

Sounding familiar?

Ever gave it a thought, as to how these simple words like ‘should’ & ‘must’ are playing on our mind? In NLP, these are called as “Modal Operator of Necessity”, where words like ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘need to’, ‘have to’, etc create a compulsion in our mind based on certain perceived consequences. More often than not, such compulsions restrict our potential to think and decide with absolute autonomy.

How to deal with this?

1. Awareness: Check how many of your self-talk patterns are having words like ‘should’ and ‘must’.
2. Question the validity of the perceived consequences – For example: What would happen if I worked till late at night? What would happen if I did not work till late at night?

Such questions will help you to reflect, weigh and introspect whether the thought is unconsciously implanted without reasoning or consciously imbibed. Not all ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ need to be ignored. At the same time, not all ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ need to be accepted as the ultimate reality, without validating the basis of the perceived consequences.

Meta-Magic

Our social media feed shows us what we love to scroll and like. It is like the mirror which reflects back only what we like to see. If you are liking and scrolling cooking reels, you’ll get to see more of cooking reels.

Ever realized that a similar algorithm works on your consciousness too? Any belief or thought gets strengthened by how you shape it through words. Positivity is infectious and so is negativity.

The good news? Just as you can tweak what shows up on your social media feed by changing your viewing preferences, you can also tweak your mental algorithm by changing your thought patterns.  NLP is one of the ideal tools that can help you to do.

My question today is: Can you catch the rhythm of your inner algorithm?

Hook From The Book

The world we experience as ‘out there’ is actually a reconstruction of reality that is built inside our heads. It’s an act of creation by the storytelling brain. – The Science of Storytelling by Will Storr

Movie Motivation

Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses – Peaceful Warrior

Please comment or reply to this newsletter with what you understand by this profound line.

Weekly Winner Post

This week’s popular post is about how you can change your words to change your world.

Here is the link

See you soon

Thank you for pouring in your love and best wishes. Do feel free to invite your friends to join the newsletter on www.NLParoundyou.com

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thank you for pouring your votes on last week’s poll – results are shared further in this episode. It is reassuring for me that I am playing the right music that mutually enhances our worth. I am filled with immense gratitude and this keeps me going to bring out a better newsletter every time.

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

“When you focus on your core, you can do much more.”- Mehernosh Randeria, Thoughtfully Yours

NLP Quote Corner

“The easier you can make it inside your head, the easier it will make outside your head.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP

We learn from patterned repetition. Ideally, we learn a task or behaviour that produces results supporting our goals. That is where behaviour modeling comes into play. The point is to create a useful map or model of the behaviour for the purpose of reproducing or copying it by anyone who may want to. By identifying the individual elements that make up the essence of the behaviour, in a practical sense a person can reproduce the desired response or outcome.

This is why athletes study other athletes in action. YouTube made a tremendous change in the availability of videos of athletes in action. If you are a tennis player wanting to maximize your serve, then watch videos of Serena Williams or Roger Federer. A tremendous amount of insight is available for athletes, dancers, runners, jockeys, and just about any activity you can think of.

Creating positive models for success helps us avoid non-productive elements that waste energy and time. Mapping is also very powerful for identifying communication habits working against the desired outcome. For example, a speaker pointing to the audience elicits a negative interpretation by pointing. However, if she would reach out to the audience with palms facing up, this conveys a more open, generous message.

You can read more about modeling in my article here:

https://w3coach.com/how-does-modeling-work-in-nlp/

Meta-Magic

A disciple came to Buddha and asked him for the secret of success. Buddha replied, “Will you do what I ask you to?” The disciple said yes as he was desperate to find the secret of success. Buddha told him to go to the seashore and check all the stones and bring back a stone that was warm.

The disciple followed the instructions and began checking all the stones at the seashore. He used to pick up every stone one by one, touch and check its temperature, and then eventually throw it back, as each happened to be a cold stone. He came again on the next day and repeated the process and returned back empty-handed. On the third day too, he did not get the warm stone. He picked up the last stone before departing home and threw it back, and then realised after throwing, that it was the warm stone. Once thrown back to the sea, finding it back would almost be impossible.

The disciple went to Buddha in dejection and told him what had conspired. Buddha smiled and said, “So my friend, you just learned the secret of success. It was in that missed chance, which you accidentally tossed off out of habit.”

My question to you is: Have you discovered your secret of success? Or have you accidentally tossed it away out of habit?

Hook from the Book

“You don’t make a great museum by putting all the art in the world into a single room. That’s a warehouse. What makes a museum great is the stuff that is not on the walls. Someone says no. A curator is involved, making conscious decisions about what should stay and what should go. There’s an editing process. There is a lot more stuff off the walls than on the walls. The best is a sub-sub-subset of all the possibilities.” – Rework – Change The Way You Work, by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Movie Motivation

“What is Life? It depends on the Liver” This is the opening dialogue of the movie Andhadhun, which is also borrowed from William James’ quote: “Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver.”

In the movie, the word “liver” is used as a Phonological Ambiguity (a language pattern discussed in NLP), where the liver could mean the organ or it could be the person who is living.

The message I would like to pass on here is that life depends on the person who is living it. How do you choose to live your life – in the Champion Mode or in the Victim Mode?

Weekly Winner Post:

The most popular post this week is the reel where I am handing over the autographed copy of my book Thoughtfully Yours to my book coach Heena M Shrivastava. Make sure to read the interesting caption.

Here is the reel.

Last Week’s Poll Results:

So here are the results of last week’s poll. I had asked which section of this newsletter is your favourite.

The highest votes are in favour of Meta-Magic and then followed by Movie Motivation and One-Minute NLP

Thank you for pouring in your love and best wishes. Do feel free to invite your friends to join the newsletter on www.NLParoundyou.com

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

With every newsletter, I intentionally revert to the previous issue with an outcome to connect it to the current issue in a heartwarming way. With this 7th episode, I guess I can ask you whether NLP Around You has become your coffee or the pill without looking outside of yourself? Any other additions or suggestions are always welcome.

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

“The colour of fitness is RED – Rest, Exercise and Diet” – Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Understanding why something happened, doesn’t help to reduce the problem” – Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP

One of the first things we wonder in any transaction is “What’s in it for me?” It often occurs in business, where a salesperson or a business partner suggests you to purchase or do something. Then the brain engages and we start to think through potential benefits or problems with the offer.

The funny thing is we often don’t inspect our own personal choices with the same microscope.

Being super clear about the Outcome is one of the Operational Principles of NLP. These help us generate rapid behavior modification.

This is much more of a “How” than a “Why” question. For example, instead of asking “Why” am I not achieving my fitness goals, ask “How” can I achieve my fitness goals.

Meta-Magic

A violin was one of the exquisite pieces up for bidding at the auction. While this violin had been extensively used by a world-famous departed violinist, the bids pouring in were abysmally low. His wife, sitting in a wheelchair, was almost on the brink of tears, because this auction was the last straw of hope for raising her three kids.

Suddenly, an old man appeared from one corner, lifted the violin, started fine-tuning it, and then played it beautifully. The audience was transfixed by the melodious performance. After a few minutes, the old man returned the violin to the centre and walked away. To the surprise of the auctioneers, the musical performance now resulted in a dramatic increase in the bids for the violin.

My Question to you is: Are you playing the right music that reflects your true worth?

Hook from the Book

“We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

– J.K.Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Movie Motivation

“There are no two words in the English language more harmful than ‘good job’.” – Whiplash. This dialogue reminds of the quote from Jim Collins: “Good is the enemy of Great. Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.”

Weekly Winner Post:

This week’s most popular post combines the left and right side of the brain as we understand the Mathematics of Emotions.

Here is the post.

Poll of the Week:

I would love to have your views this week. Which section of this Newsletter has been your favourite?

– Thoughtful Thought of the week

– NLP Quote Corner

– One Minute NLP

– Hook from the Book

– Meta-Magic

– Movie Motivation

– Weekly Winner Post

Please do share your response here in this Anonymous Poll:

https://forms.gle/FQ4xETyyaH5k1zfUA

The results of the poll will be shared with you in next week’s edition. See you soon!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

While writing the previous newsletter story ‘Jackpot for the Cracked Pot’, I realised that one cracked pot for me is understanding the technological aspect of scheduling these newsletters. There are times when the technological platform re-sends an earlier newsletter despite my having scheduled the next one. But guess what is the jackpot of this cracked pot? It is the awareness that I need to learn more on the technological front (I found the glitch and rectified it). Would love to know in your replies – What is your jackpot in the cracked pot?

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

“If you don’t take a chance, you won’t stand a chance.”- Mehernosh Randeria.

NLP Quote Corner

“Brains are not designed to get results; they go in directions. If you know how the brain works, you can go set your own directions. If you don’t then someone else will.”

– Richard Bandler

One-Minute NLP

Reframing in NLP is actually about discovering the Jackpot within the Cracked Pot. In NLP, when you use reframing, you look at something with a different point of view. Reframing allows you to take a situation and derive a different interpretation.

Reframing is a technique that is useful in situations where you feel angry or powerless. The idea is to change the meaning of the situation, or see it from a different perspective, something that allows you to view it in a more empowering way – literally, putting it into a different frame.

For example, loss of a job may seem, at first thought, to be a bad thing to have happened. However, when you consider other aspects of the situation, you discover that you are now available for a better job or are open to explore a completely different kind of work that may allow you to be more creative and feel more fulfilled. You have an opportunity to develop new skills, meet new people. Your life may go off in a completely different direction that, when looked back upon years later, you see as a very good thing that happened to you.

In reframing, then, we change the view of a situation, taking the focus off the negative aspects and look for positive aspects to focus on. This sheds new light on the situation and enables us to make better decisions since we are focusing on the benefits. It also puts us in a better frame of mind which likely will eliminate our original anger and frustration.

A different situation elicits a different interpretation.

There’s a great quote related to ‘reframing’ that will help you remember to put this technique to work the next time you feel you need to judge something – “Remember, the reverse side has a reverse side, too.”

Meta-Magic

The owner of a coffee shop had been busy all day, serving an unending queue of customers. Towards the evening, he felt a splitting headache surfacing. Unable to bear it, he stepped out of the shop, leaving his staff to look after the sales.

He walked across the street to the pharmacy to buy himself a painkiller to relieve his headache. He swallowed the pill and felt relieved. As he was strolling out of the shop, he casually asked the salesgirl, “Where is the Chemist? He’s not at the cash counter today.” The girl replied, “Sir, he was having a splitting headache and said he was going across to your coffee shop. He said a cup of hot coffee would relieve him of his headache.”

Strange but true. The chemist relieves his headache by drinking coffee, while the coffee shop owner relieves his headache by taking a pill.

My question to you is: Where are you looking for your peace? Within yourself or outside yourself?

Hook From The Book

If you want followers, be someone worth following.- Show Your Work by Austin Kleon

Movie Motivation

“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” – Shawshank Redemption

Weekly Winner Posts

When you change your words, you change your world. This week’s highest interactive post is about how tweaking our words can have an impact in our life.

Change your words, Change your world.

See you next week

Please keep your replies pouring in, and please do let me know how you are liking the series – NLP Around You. See you soon next week.

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Over the years, I have realised that success is a shape-shifter. Sometimes, it is like that lightbulb that gets immediately lit up, and sometimes it is like that tube light that takes time to reach its zenith. “NLP Around You” – this newsletter series – has been my tube light success.

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

“Make your story your glory”- Mehernosh Randeria, Thoughtfully Yours.

NLP Quote Corner

“The truth is, that people don’t stay the same. People either get better, or they get worse.” –Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP

On the occasion of World Book Day, here is my book summary of one of the most popular books where Richard Bandler, one of the co-founders of NLP has not only simplified NLP but also explained various techniques that can be applied right away to literally GET THE LIFE YOU WANT!

You can read the complete summary here on one of my earlier blogposts here

Book Summary

Get the Book here

Meta-Magic

A farmer used to fetch water every day in two mud pots which he used to tie on either end of a stick. While one pot was perfect and flawless, the other pot had a crack; so by the time, the farmer used to reach home, half of the water from the cracked pot used to leak away. This made the cracked pot ashamed of its imperfection, feeling like it was not doing its job as well as the perfect pot.

One day, the cracked pot poured his heart out to the farmer and expressed that it is of no use, and apologized that the farmer’s effort was going in vain.

The farmer told the cracked pot to notice the flowers on the way the next time they go to fetch the water. The cracked pot noticed the beautiful flowers and those gave him momentary relief. Once home, he felt sad again as half of the water had leaked.

When the farmer saw the cracked pot getting sad again, he said, “Maybe you failed to notice that the flowers which you saw on the road, were only at your side. I always knew about your crack and thus I had planted seeds on your side, so while returning, your water nourished the seeds and now all passersby can see the beauty of flowers on one side of the road.

Like the cracked pot, we might have our own flaws and imperfections, but my reminder here to you is – Please remember to discover the jackpots hidden in the cracked pots.

Hook from a Book

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” Lewis Carroll, Alice in The Wonderland

Movie Motivation

“Jitna bhi try karo bunny, life mein kuch na kuch toh chhutega hi. Isliye jahan hain, wahan ka maza lete hain” from yeh Jawani Hai Deewani. Literally translated, “How much ever you try, something or the other will be missed in life. So let’s enjoy where we are.”

This simple conversation between the 2 characters in the movie reminds us to live in the present moment, rather than trying to be everywhere and living in FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

Weekly Winner Posts

This week’s highest liked post is actually a reel where I hand over a signed copy of my book to my friend and Sexuality Educator Niyatii N Shah

Watch the Reel here

See you next week

Please keep your replies pouring in, and please do let me know how you are liking the series – NLP Around You. See you soon next week.

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria