Mehernosh Randeria

The Fish Does Not Know What is Water

by Mehernosh Randeria | Jan 13, 2025 | W3 Blog

A young man once approached a wise mentor, troubled by the monotony of his life. “I feel stuck,” he said. “Nothing seems to change.”

The mentor smiled and pointed to the river flowing nearby. “You see the water in this river?” he asked.

“Yes,” the young man replied.

“Do the fish see it?”

The man hesitated. “Probably not—they are too immersed in it.”

“Exactly,” said the mentor. “You are like the fish, surrounded by the currents of your thoughts, routines, and assumptions. To change your life, first recognize the water you swim in.”

Imagine a fish swimming in the vast ocean. Water surrounds it, nurtures it, sustains its life—but does the fish ever stop to think about the water? Most likely not. Why? Because water is its default reality, something so omnipresent that it becomes invisible.

This simple yet profound idea gives us a metaphorical lens to explore our own lives. Just like the fish, we are often unaware of the “water” that surrounds us—the beliefs, assumptions, and systems that shape our reality.

What Is the “Water” in Our Lives?

Our “water” could be many things:

Cultural Norms: The customs and traditions we inherit, often followed without questioning their relevance or truth.
Beliefs and Values: Ideas ingrained in us by family, society, or experiences that influence our decisions without us realizing it.
Routines and Habits: Daily patterns that feel natural, but may not necessarily serve our growth.

When we fail to see the “water,” we miss the opportunity to question, to evolve, and to take charge of our lives.

Why Doesn’t the Fish Know the Water?

Interestingly, the fish does not know water because the fish does not know what it means to be without water. It has never experienced the absence of what sustains it. This highlights a broader truth about life: often, we only recognize something’s presence when we have felt its absence.

We understand light because we have known darkness. We value freedom because we have seen or experienced its constraints. To truly grasp the essence of our “water,” we must contrast it with its opposite. This duality—knowing one through the absence of the other—is a powerful teacher. It compels us to reflect on the unseen forces that shape our existence.

Why Don’t We Notice the Water?

Familiarity: What is always present tends to fade into the background.
Comfort Zones: Acknowledging the water means stepping into the unknown, which can feel unsettling.
Bias Blind Spot: We all have blind spots that prevent us from seeing the bigger picture or recognizing alternative perspectives.

How Can We Start Seeing the Water?

Pause and Reflect: Create moments of stillness to examine your beliefs, behaviors, and thought patterns. Journaling or meditative practices can help.
Seek Diverse Perspectives: Engage with people who think differently, read books that challenge your views, or travel to new environments.
Ask Powerful Questions:
- Why do I believe this?
- Is this serving my highest potential?
- What if the opposite were true?
Be Open to Change: Awareness often leads to discomfort, but discomfort is the precursor to growth.

The Gift of Awareness

When the fish begins to recognize the water, it unlocks a new level of existence. It can swim with intention, choose new directions, or even leap to explore the world beyond its pond.

Similarly, when we notice the “water” in our lives, we gain the power to reshape our realities. We stop living on autopilot and start creating lives aligned with our deepest values and aspirations.

So, take a moment to ask yourself:

What is my water?
Am I swimming through life unaware of the forces shaping my journey?
And most importantly, am I ready to dive deeper into self-awareness?

Because the first step to transformation is seeing the invisible. And when you do, a whole new world opens up—one ripple at a time.

What does this metaphor of the fish and water mean to you? Share your reflections in the comments below.

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The Real Picture of Peace

by Mehernosh Randeria | Jan 11, 2025 | NLP Around You

The past week has been a truly satisfying start to the New Year 2025. Some of the highlights of the first 10 days of 2025 have been:

An amazing completion of a 14 day online cohort program called “High Impact Performer” where 40 participants were able to precisely understand and implement the secret ingredients of becoming High Impact Performers. The way the performers expressed their aha moments and the way they implemented the learnings were actually the real aha moments for me.
The Design Your Year (DYY) which was launched as an online program in Dec 2024 took off with its first offline version for 2025 with a dynamic group of business heads in Kolkata famously known as the Corporate Connections, who began their 2025 on the right note by designing their Best Year Ever.
The Thoughtful Calendar, a brainchild nurtured since long, saw the light of the day with an amazing welcome from you all. The first week of January was actively occupied in the logistical aspects of ensuring smooth delivery of all the orders received. The process included certain hiccups and learnings about having the right kind of reliable delivery partners. And with orders still flowing in, the system is now set on auto-pilot mode.
Completion of my second Masters. While the earlier one was 15 years ago as Masters in Financial Management, this time it has been in a seemingly opposite field, viz. Masters in Psychology. Integrating Psychology, NLP and Coaching is going to be an exciting journey of learning and transformation ahead.
Testing new technology platforms and integrations, where few of you would have actually received last Saturday’s newsletter just yesterday (Friday). The learning curve has been interesting, and I personally apologise for the delay. Good part of it is you received 2 newsletters this week. Yayyy!!!
Thoughtful Thoughts has been another new launch in 2025 with short videos (reels) about some truly impactful quotes from my book Thoughtfully Yours. The nudge for these series has come from all the readers of Thoughtfully Yours who would reach out to me, asking to share my perspective on the thought-provoking quotes in the book. Thank you for the nudge.

Well, I guess my excitement of sharing with you has made the updates itself lengthier than the usual length of this newsletter. But then that is the power of the community and the sharing (check out today’s One Minute NLP below). So now lets dive into this week’s NLP Around You.

Thoughtful Thought

“Troubles double when you are stuck in a negative bubble.” – Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few actually do what they know.” – Tony Robbins

One Minute NLP – Excitement of Sharing

Excitement is contagious, isn’t it? Think of the rush you feel when you share a victory — a promotion, a personal milestone, or a breakthrough — and your community celebrates with you. That same excitement can also come from sharing your vulnerabilities, like opening up about a struggle you’ve overcome.

In NLP, we recognise the power of connection. Sharing your highs and lows with those who matter creates deeper bonds. It turns mere acquaintances into allies and builds a sense of belonging. The act of sharing amplifies joy and transforms challenges into moments of growth, not just for you but for everyone listening.

So, the next time you achieve something or navigate a tough time, share it. Let excitement be your bridge to authentic, meaningful relationships. Together, you rise higher.

Meta Magic – The Real Picture of Peace

Once the world’s largest art museum announced a painting competition to depict peace, the news spread like wildfire. Artists from every corner of the globe eagerly picked up their brushes. It was as if the entire world had been splashed with vibrant colors, with creativity bursting forth like a garden in full bloom.

When the winner was revealed, the world gasped in disbelief. Among countless paintings showcasing serene landscapes, a radiant sun glowing warmly, blossoms blooming in soft hues, lush green fields basking in light the winning piece was nothing like the others. It showed a furious tornado tearing through the land, leaving destruction in its wake.

Shocked and confused, the painters crowded around the jury, demanding an explanation. “Surely there’s been a mistake!” one exclaimed with a nervous laugh. “This painting has no trace of peace. It’s pure chaos.”

The head judge smiled gently. “No mistake has been made. This choice was deliberate and thoughtful. Perhaps you overlooked the heart of the painting.”

The artists fell silent as the judge pointed to the canvas. “Look closely. Beyond the swirling storm, there’s a small hut. Inside, an old man gazes out of his window. His face is calm, untouched by the raging winds outside. True peace isn’t the absence of chaos. It’s the stillness within, even as the storm rages around you.”

My question- What does your picture of peace look like?

Hook From The Book

“All my life I wanted to be somebody. Now I realise I should have been more specific.” ― The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks Than Others Do in 12 Months

Movie Motivation

“Win a no-win situation by rewriting the rules.” This line by Harvey Specter from the series SUITS highlights the power of reframing and creative problem-solving. By changing the perspective or approach to a challenge, it’s possible to discover new solutions that weren’t previously visible.

This Week’s Winning Post

The Way You See The World is The Way You Shape Your Future

Make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular short videos on such Thoughtful Thoughts.

In case you would like to recommend these to your loved ones or your team members:

– Join the 5 Day Design Your Year (DYY) Challenge coming up again from 13th to 17th Jan 2025.

– Gift the most treasured Thoughtful Calendar before the Special Launch offer expires.

– A special 7 day Clutter Cutter Challenge organised only for Writernaama members. Curious about Writernaama? Please reach out to its Founder Heena M Shrivastava for details.

– Stay tuned for an exciting announcement of an offline in-person training coming up in February (more details in next week’s newsletter).

Let your friends and loved ones subscribe to the weekly NLP Around You by sharing this link with them: https://w3coach.com/nlparoundyou/

Thoughtfully yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Engrave or Erase?

by Mehernosh Randeria | Jan 4, 2025 | NLP Around You

Thank you for your amazing response to the Thoughtful Calendar – your daily companion for 365 exclusive quotes to inspire and motivate you daily.

Here is your link to get your copy delivered to your doorstep:

https://w3coach.com/thoughtful-calendar/

[The Special Launch Offer countdown expires soon!]

Thoughtful Thought

“In life, you can either have results or reasons. The choice is yours.” – Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” – Tony Robbins

One Minute NLP – Anchoring

Have you ever heard a song that instantly brought back a flood of memories? That’s anchoring in action! In NLP, anchoring is about creating a mental shortcut to a specific emotional state.

Imagine touching your thumb and forefinger together while thinking of a moment when you felt unstoppable. Repeat this a few times, deeply immersing yourself in that feeling. Over time, the simple gesture of touching your thumb and forefinger will trigger that powerful state whenever you need it.

This can be a game-changer for situations like interviews, public speaking, or even tough conversations. By anchoring positive emotions, you can step into your best self with just a small, intentional action. It’s simple, effective, and ready whenever you are!

You are invited to JOIN the next batch of NLP Practitioner Course by registering here: https://www.w3successacademy.com/f/nlp-foundation-2024

Meta Magic – Engrave or Erase?

Arjun and Ravi journeyed across a blistering desert. Along the way, tensions rose, and in a moment of anger, Ravi struck Arjun. Though hurt, Arjun remained quiet and wrote in the sand: “Today, my best friend slapped me.”

Later, they came across an oasis and decided to bathe. While enjoying the water, Arjun lost his footing and began to sink into the quicksand. Without hesitation, Ravi sprang into action, pulling him to safety. Overwhelmed with gratitude, Arjun carved into a stone: “Today, my best friend saved my life.”

Curious, Ravi asked, “Why did you write about the slap in the sand, but carve this in stone?”

Arjun smiled and said, “The pain of a slap should fade, like words swept away by the wind on sand. But acts of kindness deserve to be remembered, etched forever in stone.”

My Question: What do you choose to engrave or erase in your life experiences?

Hook From The Book

“Committing to selling is committing to express your soul at the highest level.” ― Lenka Lutonska, Energetic Selling & Marketing

Movie Motivation

“Don’t ever let somebody tell you, you can’t do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it.” This line from The Pursuit of Happyness reflects the principle of maintaining belief and positive intent. NLP encourages guarding one’s goals against limiting beliefs imposed by others.

This Week’s Winning Post

What the New Year brings depends on what new you are bringing to the year! And this is what I am bringing new to you this year – The Thoughtful Thoughts series, short video reels curated from all the original Thoughtful Thoughts shared over the previous 94 episodes of this newsletter so far. Here is the first one shared on 1st Jan 2025 – The Thoughtful Thought Series

Let your friends and loved ones subscribe to the weekly NLP Around You by sharing this link with them: https://w3coach.com/nlparoundyou/

Thoughtfully yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Master Trainer and Coach

Emotional Regulation – How to Master Your Inner and Outer Worlds

by Mehernosh Randeria | Jan 2, 2025 | W3 Blog

Have you ever found yourself revisiting a frustrating moment long after it’s passed, replaying it in your mind like a broken record? Or perhaps you’ve proudly narrated the story to someone else, showcasing how well you managed to keep your cool. These common experiences underline the fascinating yet complex world of emotional regulation.

Let’s dive into it together, starting with a scenario.

Imagine this:

You are in a meeting, and a colleague unexpectedly criticises your work. A familiar heat rises in your chest, your palms start to sweat, and the urge to retort sharply surges. This is the trigger. How you navigate this emotional crossroad determines whether you manage your experience or your expression.

Expression Management involves keeping that sharp retort locked away. You plaster on a polite smile and respond calmly. Externally, you’ve aced the test. But internally, a storm brews. The frustration simmers beneath the surface, waiting for another outlet. Later that day, you might find yourself snapping at a loved one or venting to a friend about the incident, reliving the moment to justify your restrained reaction. While it’s commendable to manage outward expression, relying solely on this approach can lead to suppressed emotions finding indirect, often unhealthy, outlets.

Now, let’s explore an alternative path: Experience Management.

Experience management is about diving deeper – shifting your internal narrative rather than just your outward reaction. Picture the same meeting. As the critique lands, you take a deep breath. Instead of resisting the emotional surge, you acknowledge it: “I’m feeling defensive right now. That’s okay.” By naming the emotion, you reduce its intensity.

Then, you activate your “Inner Balance Mode.” It’s as if you’ve turned on an internal stabiliser. You remind yourself that this critique isn’t a personal attack but an opportunity for growth. The trigger loses its sting, and your response aligns naturally with your calm internal state. The beauty here? The experience doesn’t linger or demand a later venting session. It’s already resolved, internally and externally.

The Risks of Expression Management Alone

Suppressing emotions can be like putting a lid on a boiling pot. Eventually, the pressure will find a way out. You might lash out at someone uninvolved or repeatedly narrate the event, subtly seeking validation for your self-control. This cycle not only affects your relationships but also reinforces a habit of disconnection from your true feelings.

In contrast, Experience Management fosters congruence. You’re not battling with yourself to appear calm while feeling chaotic inside. Instead, you’re genuinely present, experiencing emotions fully but without being overwhelmed. It’s a sustainable approach that nurtures both mental and emotional health.

Practical Steps to Master Experience Management

Pause and Breathe: When triggered, take a slow, deep breath. This simple act shifts your focus and buys you a moment to respond thoughtfully.
Name the Emotion: Identify what you’re feeling. Anger? Hurt? Frustration? Labelling the emotion reduces its intensity and makes it manageable.
Reframe the Trigger: Ask yourself, “What’s another way to see this situation?” Shifting your perspective can turn a critique into a growth opportunity or a challenge into a learning experience.
Let It Pass: Once the moment is over, remind yourself that it’s in the past. There’s no need to carry it forward into your day.
Reflect, Don’t Relive: If you’re reflecting on the event, focus on what you learned rather than the emotional charge it carried.

Where Are You Operating From?

As you navigate your daily triggers, take a moment to reflect: are you operating from a place of expression management or experience management? The former may offer short-term peace, but the latter is the key to long-term emotional harmony.

The next time life throws an unexpected twist, turn inward first. Anchor yourself in the present, breathe deeply, and engage your inner balance mode. You’ll find that when your internal world is steady, your external world follows suit.

After all, emotional regulation isn’t about suppressing the storm but learning to dance in the rain.

To dive deeper into the practical strategies for mastering emotional regulation, explore my online recorded course, Emotional Kabaddi, to find out how to effectively transform your triggers into your triumphs by tackling your raiding emotions.

Make sure to subscribe to receive all updates from W3 Coach directly in your inbox.

https://w3coach.com/subscribe/

Discover the Magic in the Mundane by subscribing to the Weekly Newsletter - NLP Around You.

Also, find out how you can join the complimentary LIVE training on the Art and Science of Success- (The NLP Practitioner Course)

Explore the complete set of online recorded courses at W3 Success Academy now.

Where Are You Hiding Your Gold?

by Mehernosh Randeria | Dec 28, 2024 | NLP Around You

As the year changes, do you need to change your calendar? Presenting the Thoughtful Calendar that doesn’t need to be replaced every year, but only re-cherished with nuggets of wisdom. That is the 365-day Thoughtful Calendar for you – a daily life coach for your desk:

To pre-order this calendar, please reply to this newsletter with “My Thoughtful Calendar” now.

Thoughtful Thought

“Cherish before you perish.” – Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.” – Jim Rohn

One Minute NLP – Association

Association in NLP is about fully stepping into an experience, feeling it as if you are living it right now. Imagine a moment when you felt truly happy or successful. Now, close your eyes and relive it — see what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel what you felt.

This technique helps you tap into positive emotions and resourceful states. For instance, if you are preparing for a big presentation, you can associate with a time when you felt confident and energised. By immersing yourself in that memory, you bring those feelings into the present moment.

It’s like charging your emotional battery with the energy and mindset you need. Association helps you access your best self quickly, making it a powerful tool for motivation, confidence, and peak performance.

You are invited to JOIN the next batch of NLP Practitioner Course by registering here: https://www.w3successacademy.com/f/nlp-foundation-2024

Meta Magic – Are you spending your gold?

Bholaram heaved a sigh of relief as he finished counting his gold coins. This was his daily ritual before going to bed. Every evening, he used to go to his farm, and take out hidden gold coins buried inside and count them and keep them back.

Strangely enough, Bhola never spent a single coin. He was content merely with the act of counting them daily.

One evening, a passing thief noticed Bhola engrossed in counting his treasure. The thief decided that as soon as Bhola retired for the night, he would steal the gold.

The next day turned out to be a bitter one for Bhola. The coins were gone, and he was left regretting his choice of never using the gold at the right time.

When his neighbours gathered to console him, they couldn’t help but ask why he had buried the gold outside instead of keeping it safely indoors. Bhola replied, “I thought no one would suspect the gold being hidden outside, so I avoided keeping it inside.”

Our learnings — whether from books or courses — are much like those gold coins.

Are you someone who hides your learnings, never putting them to use? Or are you the one who embraces and applies them, truly savouring their value?

Hook From The Book

“The only way we can change our lives is to change our energy — to change the electromagnetic field we are constantly broadcasting. In other words, to change our state of being, we have to change how we think and how we feel.” ― Joe Dispenza, Becoming Supernatural: How Common People are Doing the Uncommon

Movie Motivation

“What we do in life echoes in eternity” This line quoted by Maximus in the movie Gladiator reminds us that our actions have consequences that decide our destiny.

This Week’s Winning Post

Christmas Journal Prompts

Let your friends and loved ones subscribe to the weekly NLP Around You by sharing this link with them: https://w3coach.com/nlparoundyou/

Best wishes for the New Year 2025 to you and your loved ones. See you next year.

Thoughtfully yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Master Trainer and Coach