Valentine’s Day — it’s the season of love, roses, and grand gestures! But what if this year, instead of looking outward for love, we turned inward? What if the most meaningful romance you ever experience is the one you have with yourself?
Welcome to SELF ISHQ—the art of falling deeply, passionately, and unapologetically in love with yourself. And no, this isn’t just a fluffy feel-good concept. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) actually shows us that self-love is a skill—one that we can cultivate, just like any other habit.
Think of Geet from Jab We Met, confidently declaring:
👉 “Main apni favourite hoon!”
Now, that’s SELF ISHQ in action—fully embracing yourself, quirks and all!
Why SELF ISHQ Matters?
Let’s be honest—how often do we wait for someone else to make us feel loved? Whether it’s a partner, friends, or social media validation, we sometimes outsource our sense of worth. But here’s the truth: No amount of external love can ever replace the love you give yourself.
When you embrace SELF ISHQ, you become your own soulmate—fully accepting, fully celebrating, fully loving yourself. And the best part? It’s in your control.
And this is where NLP comes in. Your mind works on patterns—what you tell yourself every day becomes your reality. Change your thoughts, and you rewire your brain to experience deeper self-love.
How to Cultivate SELF ISHQ with NLP?
1. Whisper Sweet Nothings to Yourself (Reframing Negative Self-Talk)
Meet Shiela, a corporate executive who constantly second-guessed herself. Every time she faced a challenge, her inner voice went: “You’re not good enough.” And guess what? That voice stopped her from stepping up for leadership roles.
Enter NLP Reframing. Instead of saying “I’m not good enough”, she consciously started saying:
👉 “I’m a work in progress, getting stronger every day.”
Fast forward a few months, and guess who confidently took on a leadership role?
💡 NLP Insight: Your words shape your self-love story. If your inner voice is being a bully, fire it and replace it with a kinder, more supportive one.
🎬 Movie Reference: Rocky Balboa (Rocky Series) —“It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” Rocky doesn’t just reframe his thoughts—he rewires his entire mindset. He chooses to see failures as stepping stones rather than defeats.
2. Gift Yourself the Attention You Deserve (Anchoring Self-Love)
Ever felt that nagging feeling of not being “enough”? That’s exactly what Aman, a fitness coach, experienced every time he scrolled through social media, comparing himself to influencers.
So, he created a self-love anchor. Every morning, he stood in front of the mirror, smiled, and placed his hand over his heart while saying:
👉 “I am enough, just as I am.”
Soon, this simple action became a trigger—whenever self-doubt crept in, he just pressed his hand over his heart, and instantly, confidence flowed back.
💡 NLP Insight: Anchoring links a physical action to a positive emotion. Create a self-love anchor that you can use whenever you need a confidence boost.
🎬 Movie Reference: Queen — When Rani (Kangana Ranaut) embarks on a solo honeymoon, she’s literally anchoring her self-worth to independence and adventure.
3. Embrace Your Flaws Like an Obsessed Lover (Perceptual Positions)
Meera, a consultant, was her own worst critic. She zoomed in on every flaw—her weight, her wrinkles, her imperfections.
Then, she tried NLP Perceptual Positions:
🔹 First, she described herself in her own words (“I look tired and old”).
🔹 Then, she imagined how her best friend would describe her (“You are warm, wise, and your smile lights up a room”).
🔹 Finally, she stepped into the shoes of a neutral observer (“Here’s a person who has lived, loved, and deserves kindness”).
This one exercise changed everything. She started seeing herself through loving eyes.
💡 NLP Insight: Changing perspectives helps you rewrite your inner narrative. Start seeing yourself the way your biggest cheerleader would.
🎬 Movie Reference: The Intern — Anne Hathaway’s character learns to see herself from a different perspective, thanks to De Niro’s character who brings wisdom and kindness into her life.
4. Romance Yourself with Self-Care (Visualization for Self-Love)
Jay, a writer, was so busy taking care of clients that he had zero time for himself.
Then, he started a simple NLP Visualization every morning:
🔹 He closed his eyes and pictured his ideal self—confident, happy, well-rested.
🔹 He saw himself eating healthy, exercising, and speaking kindly to himself.
🔹 He imagined smiling at his reflection instead of avoiding it.
And guess what? His habits naturally started shifting. Self-care became effortless.
💡 NLP Insight: Your brain doesn’t know the difference between real experiences and vivid imagination. Visualise your best self daily, and soon, you’ll start living it.
🎬 Movie Reference: Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara — Arjun, played by Hrithik Roshan, transitions from being completely disconnected from himself, only chasing money and success, when he learns to slow down, embrace the present, and prioritise his happiness. That moment when he’s deep-sea diving? That’s self-love in action. He visualises himself letting go of control, surrendering to the moment, and simply being happy.
5. Dance to Your Own Rhythm (Modeling Your Ideal Self)
Rhea always admired her mentor—a woman who just radiated confidence. But instead of feeling jealous, she asked herself:
🔹 How does she walk?
🔹 How does she talk to herself?
🔹 What habits does she have?
So, Rhea started mirroring her mentor’s mindset and behaviors. Within months, she had transformed into the self-assured person she once only admired.
💡 NLP Insight: Modeling speeds up transformation. Start borrowing habits from the people you aspire to be like!
🎬 Movie Reference: Iron Man— Tony Stark (played by Robert Downey Jr.) is an arrogant genius, but after his life-changing experience in the cave, he chooses to model a better version of himself.
He asks himself:
- How would an ethical leader act?
- What habits would a true hero have?
- How can I become someone I truly respect?
And just like that, he models his ideal self into existence, shifting from a self-absorbed billionaire to someone with a purpose bigger than himself.
When You Fall in Love with Yourself…
Something magical happens when you embrace SELF ISHQ.
✨ You stop chasing love and start attracting it.
✨ You set higher standards and build healthier relationships.
✨ You glow with confidence—and that is magnetic.
This Valentine’s Day, make a promise—not to someone else, but to yourself.
To love, cherish, and honour the most important person in your life—YOU.
💌 NLP Exercise: A Love Letter to Yourself
📝 Write a love letter to yourself, as if you were writing to the love of your life.
👉 Express admiration, gratitude, and commitment.
💖 Read it out loud. Feel the love.
Because YOU are the love story you’ve been waiting for.
Happy SELF ISHQ Day! 💕
If you are ready to transform your inner dialogue and embrace the most important love story of all—the one with yourself, come join our FREE 5-Day LIVE Zoom Challenge where you’ll learn practical NLP techniques and self-care rituals to help you reframe negative self-talk, anchor positive emotions, and embody your best self.
A perfect Gift for yourself:
https://www.w3successacademy.com/f/self-love-challenge
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