Get The Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with NLP

Get The Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with NLP

Book Summary – Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Richard Bandler 

 

Introduction

Richard Bandler is the author of this book and also the co-creator of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). John Grinder and Bandler met at the University of California, Santa Cruz in the early 1970s and began to discuss their ideas on human behavior and effective ways to make changes that last forever. They developed the belief that humans form their opinions and perform due to the way they perceive their environment, and that changing of person’s perception can take place quickly.

What eventually became NLP was the practice of modeling behaviour to deliver a specific outcome. In other words, a mentally competent human being can watch how someone else does something successfully, and then simply duplicate that person’s actions and behaviors for the exact same result.

The successful achievement of desired goals happens through a process of studying the way people act and speak. You can then use proven techniques to persuade and convince them to help you achieve a particular result. 

Richard Bandler very basically illustrates the ability of NLP as something that allows “anyone to do something that anyone else has done.” He has authored several books on neurolinguistic programming, some with John Grinder and a few on his own. Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming is one of those solo efforts.

The Idea

The basis of this book is exactly as its title suggests. Richard Bandler believes that anyone can create the type of life they desire simply by applying NLP strategies, techniques, and truisms. In short, any negative behaviors you exhibit can be quickly changed. You simple model the actions, speech patterns, and mindset of people you would like to be like, while influencing and persuading others.

 

The author has helped tens of thousands of people from all walks of life, all ages and cultures, both men and women, to cure incurable addictions, fears and phobias. It is his expressed belief that the 35 proven NLP techniques taught in this book can help you also create whatever life you desire.

There are plenty of people around the world that claim a single session practicing the strategies taught in Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming was sufficient enough to rid themselves of negative habits and anxieties, and move on from past traumas that have halted their life and negatively affected it.

How the Book Is Laid Out

A Foreword is delivered by Doctor Paul McKenna, host of  “I Can Make You Thin” on The Learning Channel. He begins by comparing NLP to a mobile phone. When cellular phones first came to be they were large, bulky, not very capable and very expensive. Now mobile phones are smart, tiny and light, as well as affordable. McKenna makes the claim that Bandler’s early work creating NLP was not near as powerful and easy to get your hands on as it is currently. He refers to NLP as “psychological technology” capable of quickly, sometimes instantly, removing addiction and other negative behaviors and delivering powerful life-changes.

 

The foreword is followed by a note by the book’s editor, Owen Fitzpatric, who chimes in with his belief that NLP is only now being accepted by the field of psychology for the power it has. He reminds us that the old psychological belief was that time was needed to affect positive change in one’s life. He points to Bandler’s NLP techniques and strategies delivered in this book as capable of causing much quicker and more powerful changes in behavior that last, and sometimes are experienced instantly.

You first meet your author in the book’s Preface. He moves through his life from the 1970s to present time, and discusses the practical base for his beliefs. You also learn that the book is broken down into 4 major sections: 

  1. Understanding NLP and Your Psychological Process
  2. Getting Over It
  3. Getting Through It
  4. Getting To It

 

An Introduction follows. You learn that the book was created as “a guide for your behavior” that helps you avoid therapy and make quick behavioral changes that have the biggest impact on your life. The author explains in his introduction that you only need one quick, bad experience to develop a phobia. Perhaps you were involved in a flight which nearly ended in a crash. That one instance could cause you to have a fear of flying. He explains that since you can develop fears, addictions and other negative behaviors and issues quickly, you can also just as quickly reprogram your brain in the opposite direction.

Part 1 begins with a lesson on the power of your unconscious. Bandler explains that learning to consciously reprogram your subconscious is the “freeway to change” that may be currently shut down in your mind. You are taught just how important the quality of your thinking is, and how to actually change your brain chemistry so that you control your thoughts, and that control leads to positive behaviors. The next bit of information is very powerful. You learn that it is actually easy to build new belief systems and behaviors when you develop a “structure of certainty” which is explained in detail.

Part 2, Getting Over It, is broken down into 6 sub-sections. This allows you to instantly access a particular area where you know you need to make serious changes. Those 6 sub-sections are:

  • Bad Suggestions
  • Fears and Phobias
  • Bad Memories
  • Grief
  • Bad Relationships
  • Bad Decisions

You learn to get past any addiction, trauma, emotion or fear that you currently suffer from in any of those areas using specific NLP techniques.

In Part 3, you learn how to Get Through specific instances that have caused you trouble in the past. The author uses physical recuperation, particularly negative habits and compulsions, stressful events, tests and obligations as real-world examples of problematic times you may experience. He shows exactly what NLP techniques should be used to render these previous problems powerless. This is explained in 6 sub-sections: 

 

  • Habits and Compulsions
  • Physical Recovery
  • Resignation
  • Big Events
  • Tests (Exams and Interviews)
  • Obligations

Part 4 is all about moving on to the achievement of success, fun, love and peacefulness in any area of your life. Bandler shows that by implementing the lessons in the first 3 parts of the book, you start to “Get To” those things in your life which you have long been desiring but have been incapable of achieving, which have been explained over 8 sub-sections:

  • Fun
  • Love
  • Meeting People
  • Important Duties
  • Exercise
  • Be More Organised
  • Make More Money
  • Make Big Decisions

 

A short Conclusion is followed by a Glossary of useful terms, and additional NLP reading resources are recommended.

 

 

Who Benefits from Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Richard Bandler?

If you have tried goal setting, hypnosis, meditation or some other method of achieving a desired mental state and failed, this book may be for you. Bandler provides plenty of research and real-world examples which back up his belief that you can model any behavior that you desire to have in your life. 

If you want to quit smoking, lose weight, stop drinking or stop being scared of simply being in public, these are all easily achievable. The author teaches you to change your brain chemistry and way of thinking quickly and easily. This leads to a change in the way you view your environment, allowing those thoughts to create new and positive behaviors.

 

Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming may benefit those people who may have failed using traditional behavioral change therapies and techniques in the past. The book is also hundreds or thousands of dollars less expensive than mentally intrusive psychotherapy lessons, and can be implemented literally instantly through a digital purchase.

 

Find more books recommended for NLP on www.w3coach.com/nlp-books

 

How to stay UPBEAT even in the LOCKDOWN – Video Series

How to stay UPBEAT even in the LOCKDOWN – Video Series

Here is a complete compilation of the Video Series which was created during the initial days of the Lockdown, titled – “Kuch Kuch Karona – How to Stay Upbeat even in the Lockdown”

Do let me know in the comments below the section which resonated with you the most.

 

Episode 1: Setting up Your Morning Routine:

 

Episode 2 – Upskilling Yourself in 3 C’s:

 

Episode 3: Stay Fit, Stay S.A,F,E,:

 

Episode 4: Work From Home Special – Productivity Strategies:

11 Simple Steps to Effective Decision Making

11 Simple Steps to Effective Decision Making

 

 

Effective decision making is one of the secrets to a more enjoyable and satisfying life. Here is a proven 11-step process for mastering the art of decision-making and thereby enhancing the quality of your life.

1. Decide what you are aiming to accomplish.

Getting a clarity on the desired outcome is the first step to a smoother decision making process. What is the end result that you are hoping for?

  • Maximize your income?
  • Strengthen your relationship?
  • Minimize the financial or emotional cost?
  • Advance your career?

 

 

2. Make a list of your resources.

What resources do you possess that are applicable to following through on your possible options? Imagine you had to undertake renovation for your house. You would determine which tools you have available for the job and then make a plan based upon those available resources.

3. Brainstorm possible choices.

Make a long list of all the choices or options available to you. A better way to do this would be using the technique of mind mapping. An important aspect to note at this stage is to avoid judging your options too quickly. This is the step of idea generation. Do not mix this with idea evaluation. You can evaluate these options later.

4. Consider the odds of success.

For each idea, choice or option generated above, consider the odds of success. At this stage, you can discard the solutions which stand a lower chance of success.

5. Consider the time and money involved.

In addition to the resources you have already identified, weigh the choices with the resources that would be needed. A quick mental cost-benefit exercise will help to evaluate the options better.

6. What are the risks?

Assess the possibilities of what could go wrong and what are the ramifications of each option.

7. Is the upside worth the risk?

Some options are riskier than others, but the greater potential rewards are often worth the extra risk. Assess how much do you stand to gain.

8. What are the long-term implications?

Consider the consequences of each option beyond just the short term obvious scenarios. Who will be affected by your decision? What does your decision mean 10 years from now? What will you gain and sacrifice in the long-term?

9. Can you trust yourself to follow through?

A good decision that you can’t complete is no better than a poor decision or no decision at all. Sometimes the solution with the best likely outcome is too challenging to implement. Do you have the skills and the stamina to follow through?

10. Keep your values in mind.

Many options could be unacceptable due to your values. Keep your values in mind and you’ll be less likely to regret your decision later. Know what’s important to you.

11. Avoid taking too much time to make a solution.

There have been several studies on the differences between “satisficers” and “maximizers”.

  • A satisficer looks for the quickest, easiest solution that meets their criteria. That doesn’t mean they settle. It means that they accept the first solution that satisfies their needs and run with it.
  • A maximizer continues searching until the best possible solution is found.

Studies consistently show that satisficers are more successful and happier than maximizers. Avoid spending more time than necessary searching for a solution.

 

The most successful people make wise decisions, decide quickly, and follow through. Improving the quality and speed of your decisions may be the fastest path to a more satisfying life.

Making good decisions is important. Most challenges in life could have been avoided with wiser decisions. Most people take too much time to make decisions and they make decisions poorly. And, even worse, the surest way to ensure that you never make any progress is to never make any decisions.

 

For more powerful and relevant articles and secrets on enhancing your Wealth, Wisdom and Wellness, follow me on my personal blog https://w3coach.com/blog/ now.

Click here to connect with Your W3 Coach across all digital platforms.

9 Strategies to Find Wisdom

9 Strategies to Find Wisdom

We are drowning in Information while starving for Wisdom – E. O. Wilson
Firstly, let’s understand what is Wisdom. Wisdom is the ability to use your knowledge and experience to make good decisions and judgments. Wisdom is not only knowledge that is born out of experiences, wisdom is also knowing when to apply what you know in sensible ways.  It’s the ability to discern inner qualities. Whenever you’re struggling with a life situation or phase, having the wisdom to navigate the rough waters can be emotionally life-saving. But where and how do you find wisdom when you need it?
Wisdom is associated with attributes such as unbiased judgment, compassion, experiential self-knowledge, self-transcendence and non-attachment. Let’s explore a few “places” where we can find wisdom.

1. Call or meet an elderly person or parents:
Wisdom comes with age. Elderly people / parents can be considered as a bank of intellectual capital. Even though you might not currently have the type of relationship where you willingly seek guidance from them but it’s never too late to start.
Your relationship with your parents and elders will be enhanced and you’ll experience one of the most rewarding emotional connections possible in life. Seek out your parents or any elderly person you know and trust for some much-needed information. They will definitely have a different perspective and will show you the other side of the coin.

 

2. Reflect over relevant past experiences:
Self-reflection is turning our attention inward to consider what we are feeling at a given moment, why we acted in such a way, and how our past experiences have shaped us. Because wisdom is intricately connected with experiences, think about how you have dealt with a similar situation. Think about anything related to that type of situation that you’ve been through in the past.

 

  • What did you do then?
  • How would that action work now?
  • How could you tweak the action to work in your current situation?

 

Strive to learn from and even use something from your prior experience to get through the current crisis. Remember, there are no setbacks, there are only learnings. Turn your Wounds into Wisdom.

3. Read a self-help book:

Books can be incredibly powerful. They have the ability to suck us in, take us on adventures, and influence the way we think. They can teach us, move us, give us new perspectives, and help shape us. Reflect on what you read. Which parts will work for you now? What did the author say that you really appreciated or found enlightening?

4. Talk your heart out with friends:

Friends are the ones whom you can count upon, the ones who accept you for who you are, and honest enough to show you the mirror. They may offer some insight from their own experience that could be of great help to you now. Embrace their stories and experiences.

Friends will often share stories and follow them with comments such as, “This is what I did and it did not work for me,” which can also shed some effective insight on your current struggle.

5. Observe and Listen:

Believe it or not, wisdom might be “happening” right in front of you. Watch others. What do they say? What do they do? Open your eyes and learn from the experiences of others. The fact is that others are often offering their wisdom to us. We just don’t notice it. Re-discovering what is all around you is an effective channel to wisdom.

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself” – Eleanor Roosevelt

6. Jump on the Technology Bandwagon:

Advances in technology have enabled us to seek and find all kinds of knowledge and information. Online platforms like Coursera, ITunes University, Udemy, etc. offer hundreds of courses that provide expertise, knowledge, and wisdom. If you consider yourself technologically challenged, then it is time to challenge yourself in this area.

7. Do some Soul-Searching:

Allow yourself time to focus on what’s going on inside you. Soul searching is an honest evaluation of your feelings and motives. An example of soul searching is when you take the time to meditate and think about the purpose of your life and what is most important to you. Do you have any strong gut feelings about how to handle a challenging situation? Sometimes, you can draw on your own wisdom to get you through an emotional storm. Soul searching is the examination of one’s conscience especially with regard to motives and values.

8. Work with a Coach:

A masterful coach is one who works with you to find your own solutions, through a thought-provoking and creative process, that inspires you to maximise your personal and professional potential. Find the right coach who inspires you and helps you to connect with your inner wisdom.

To understand more about coaching, watch the video here. As W3 Coach, I use Neuro Linguistic Programming to help my clients connect with your wisdom to overcome challenges and achieve goals. You may want to read more about my coaching approach as W3 Coach here.

9. Allow yourself to get inspired from external sources:

Whenever you take in new, fascinating information, you never know what can happen. If you’re looking for inspiration, check out the TED website. Listening to stories and speakers who’ve been through crises or possess great intellect will inspire you to think differently and perhaps enable you to develop your own useful wisdom.

 

Here are some more external sources of inspiration:

  • Surround yourself with things that energize you.
  • Listen to any kind of  music.
  • Learn more about your subject.
  • Take a trip. Travelling gives you so much of experience and inspiration.
  • Try a new art form.
  • Watch videos of talks and interviews of successful people.
  • Have a vision.
  • Money is a great motivator. Work towards achieving it.
  • Exercise to stay fit. Remember – Health is Wealth.
  • Practice Attitude of Gratitude.
  • Set healthy competition.

 

Finding wisdom is not as difficult as you might think. Contact a parent, an adult, reflect on prior experiences, read, or talk with cherished friends, or appoint a coach. Take note of what is happening around you, be observant. Use technology and allow yourself to become inspired through exposure to great intellect.

 

You’ll enrich your life in ways you haven’t even considered when you find wisdom using these strategies.

 

For more powerful and relevant articles and secrets on enhancing your Wealth, Wisdom and Wellness, follow me on my personal blog https://w3coach.com/blog/ now.

Click here to connect with Your W3 Coach across all digital platforms.

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