Welcome to Episode #190 of NLP Around You.
🧠 Thoughtful Thought
“Every question is a ticket. Check where it takes you.”
For your daily dose of Thoughtful Thoughts, get your Thoughtful Calendar here.
💬 NLP Quote Corner
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou
⏳ One Minute NLP – The Assumption Inside the Question
Have you ever caught yourself asking, “Why am I so bad at this?” It sounds like an honest enquiry. Look closer, and you will find it has already reached a verdict.
In NLP, we call this a presupposition: something a sentence quietly assumes to be true before it even begins.
“Why am I so bad at this?” presupposes that you are bad at it. “Why does nobody listen to me?” presupposes that nobody does. Your mind rarely stops to challenge the presupposition. It simply accepts the brief and starts searching for evidence, and it is very good at finding what it has been sent to find.
The reverse works just as well. “What would make this easier?” presupposes it can be easier. “Who has handled this well?” presupposes that somebody has, and that there is something to learn from them.
Do this today: the next time you hear yourself asking a question in your own head, stop and name what it presupposes. If you wouldn’t sign your name under that presupposition, rewrite the question.
The mind always answers.
It seldom checks the question.
🔮 Meta Magic
Two Questions at the Enquiry Window
Picture a railway station in Mumbai at the end of a long, humid day. The speakers crackle, and the news arrives in that flat voice stations keep for bad news: the train to Pune is cancelled.
A groan travels down the platform, and before it has died away a queue has formed at the enquiry window. Behind the glass sits a tired clerk, a cup of tea going cold at his elbow, already bracing himself.
First in line is a man in a pressed shirt, laptop bag on his shoulder, phone gripped in his hand. He leans in until his voice fills the little gap under the glass.
“Why does this always happen? Who is responsible for this? How can you people allow it?”
They are fair questions. He has paid for his ticket, he has somewhere to be in the morning, and he has every right to be angry. The people behind him nod along. For a few minutes he is the hero of the queue.
The clerk says what clerks say. He has no further information. There is a complaint book, if the gentleman wishes. The man asks again, louder, and receives the same answer, a little more slowly. Eventually he walks to a bench, sits down heavily and begins typing a long, well-argued message about the state of the railways.
He has a grievance. He does not have a way to Pune.
Next is a woman with a small suitcase. Her evening has been ruined just as thoroughly as his. She sets the suitcase down, waits for the clerk to look up, and asks one thing.
“What is the quickest way to reach Pune tonight?”
Something shifts in the clerk’s shoulders. For the first time all evening, somebody has handed him a problem he can actually do something about. He thinks for a moment, mentions another train from another station, tells her where to find a taxi, and writes the details on a slip of paper. A few minutes later she is gone.
Same train. Same clerk. Same ruined evening. One walked away with a grievance. The other walked away with a route.
In NLP, we call this the difference between a problem frame and an outcome frame. A problem frame looks backwards: what went wrong, why, and whose fault it is. An outcome frame looks forwards: what do I want now, and what is the next step towards it?
Notice that she is not more positive than he is, and she doesn’t pretend the train is running. She has simply pointed her question somewhere else.
The old CFO in me thinks of a variance report: you need one to learn where the numbers went, but no business ever reached next year’s target by reading last year’s variances louder.
We have all stood at that window. A project slips, a client goes quiet, a plan falls apart, and we lean in. Why does this keep happening? Who let this happen? There is a time for those questions. The trouble begins when they are the only ones we know how to ask.
Awareness widens choices. The moment you hear the question you are asking, another one becomes available.
So let me ask you…
Are your questions looking for someone to blame, or for somewhere to go?
📖 Hook from the Book
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. – Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
🎬 Movie Motivation
“Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon… bas rukna nahi chahta.” (I want to fly, I want to run, I even want to fall… I just don’t want to stop.)
This dialogue from the movie Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani reminds us that when your attention stays on where you are going, even a fall is only part of the movement.
🏆 Popular Post of the Week
Halloween masks come off at midnight. But what about the ones we wear every day? Sometimes, the roles that once protected us become the identities that quietly confine us. Discover the person beneath the mask.
The Scariest Mask Is the One We Forget We’re Wearing
📢 Announcements of the Week
Free Live Webinar: Outwardly Successful. Inwardly Stuck?
You know what you should do, and yet you delay, overthink, react or repeat the old behaviour. That is not a discipline problem. It is a pattern problem.
Join me live on Zoom on Friday 13 November 2026, 8:00 to 9:30 PM IST. It is free, and there is no recording, so the live session is the only way in.
👉 Save your seat: https://nlp.w3successacademy.com/outwardly-successful-inwardly-stuck
100 Days | Season 2: RECODE Your Life
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Missed the past issues of NLP Around You? Find them all here.
Thoughtfully Yours,
Mehernosh Randeria
Your W3 Coach
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