What Stones are You Picking?

by | Aug 26, 2023 | NLP Around You | 0 comments

With heartfelt gratitude, today’s newsletter contains a cherry-picked surprise news that I am so excited to share with you.

Thoughtful Thought

If love is blind, make self-love your walking stick.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

The person most in control is the person who can give up control.”- Frederick Salomon Perls (Fritz Perls)

One Minute NLP – The 4 Stages of Learning

If learning is the seed, awareness is the fertilizer. And here I am referring to the awareness about the stage of learning you are at, with respect to every skill or behaviour or ability.

Let us explore the four stages of learning.

Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence (UI): “I don’t know that I don’t know”

– This includes all the things whose existence you are not even aware of. And thus, you don’t even know that you don’t know it.

For example, as an infant, even before you learned to ride a bicycle, there was a time when you may not have even seen a bicycle.

Even today, as an adult, there may still be several things, that we don’t even know, exist around. With respect to these elements, we are in the stage of UI.

Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence (CI): “I know that I don’t know”

– This applies to all those things whose existence you are well aware of, and yet conscious about the fact that you don’t know how to perform or operate them.

Continuing the example of the bicycle, as an infant sees other kids riding a bicycle, there is now an awareness of its existence and also an awareness of not knowing how to ride it.

As of today, what are the various things in your life that you are aware of not knowing much about it? Some examples could be a foreign language, a musical instrument, robotics, scuba diving or other such activities which you have chosen not to learn or get further in depth of.

Stage 3: Conscious Competence (CC): “I know that I know”

– This applies to all those things whose existence you are well aware of, and yet conscious about the fact that you know how to perform or operate them.

When the child starts riding the bicycle, the child is now aware of the learning process. This is the stage that involves practicing, repetitions, conscious efforts, and even mistakes which act as a part of learning.

What are those aspects of your personal and professional life where you are learning by practicing, by doing, and consciously stacking up the knowledge for future implementation? Some examples could be a foreign language that you are currently learning, a musical instrument you are practicing, a profession or course that you are undergoing to master your skills, etc.

Stage 4: Unconscious Competence (UC): “I don’t know that I know”

– Something which is so naturally imbibed in you that it becomes an unconscious habit.

Once the child has learned how to ride the bicycle, it eventually reaches a stage when the moment you get on the bicycle you ride across distances without even being aware that you are balancing, pedaling, and applying all the various nitty-gritties in such a way that is so naturally and unconsciously happening at the moment.

What are those skills or abilities which are at your level of UC? For example: driving a car, photography, being naturally kind and trustworthy to people. These are usually those skills or abilities where other people compliment you and you wonder – what’s the big deal? That’s because it is a big deal for them, whereas for you it is simply automatic.

When you are aware of the stage of your learning, it becomes easy to sail your boat into deep waters as you can map your journey about how and when you will take the stride.

Meta- Magic – What Stones Are You Picking?

A young man named Hiroshi was perplexed and overwhelmed by his never-ending trail of thoughts. He could never attain the state of calm due to random thoughts constantly erupting out of nowhere.

He got to know about a monk who lived on the outskirts of the town near the river and immediately set off hoping to get a solution. He explained to the monk, “Sir, how do I empty my mind and attain peace? It has become a dump yard of thoughts as if my mind is being continuously pelted with an array of stones. I am disconnected from myself. Please help.”

The monk in response turned his head towards the river and replied while throwing a stone in the calm river, “What did you see just happening?”

Hiroshi replied, “Well, the calm river got some ripples once you threw the stone, but after some time the ripples settled and the calmness of the water resumed.”

The monk smiled, “Our mind is this river and thoughts are the stones. It will become calm after some time but only if you stop throwing more stones in it.”

Hiroshi understood, yet he could not decipher, how to stop these stones, so he mustered up courage and asked, “Sir, how do I stop these stones?”

The monk asked him to follow him for a long walk. Hiroshi was asked to pick up the stones along the way, look at them closely, and describe each stone to the monk. After picking a handful, Hiroshi felt the weight and expressed his desire to put the stones down.

The monk replied, “This is where you need to draw the line, Hiroshi. Instead of picking every stone (thought) coming your way, you need to mindfully choose the stone or the thought that you would entertain. Each time you pick a stone, ask yourself- Is this stone going to help me to be calmer and happier or not? You will have your answer.”

My question to you is: Are you aware of the number of stones (thoughts) you pick every day? How do you make sure that you are picking the right stone?

Hook From The Book

“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.”- An Autobiography by Agatha Christie

Movie Motivation

This week’s movie motivation is contributed by Karzan.

Context: The movie revolves around this magical artifact called the “Dragon Scroll” which is said to contain secrets of the universe that would grant unlimited power and knowledge to whoever reads it. But when Po (the Panda) is chosen to read it, he finds out that it is just a blank scroll made of some reflective paper. This leaves him and his friends confused and perplexed.

Later in the movie, Mr. Ping drops the truth bomb on Po that there is in fact no secret ingredient! It is just the people’s belief that makes them think the soup is special. This leads Po to uncover the true meaning of the Dragon Scroll. That is, there is no secret to unlocking unlimited power and knowledge, it’s you who has the ability to unlock unlimited power and knowledge.

This Week’s Winning Post

From one Author and NLP Trainer to another

Surprise News of the Week

I am delighted to share that I have been nominated for the award of Best Executive Coach 2023. The winners will be determined by public votes and evaluation by a Jury Panel of renowned industry experts. You can cast your vote here: https://www.coachawards.com/executivecoach/dr.-mehernosh-j-randeria Also, please do share this with all your contacts with a request to cast their vote too. Thank you for all your love! See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,


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