Thoughtful Thought

“Life becomes lively when you add life to it.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Once they have a choice, people always make the best choice. The trouble is that people don’t think they have one.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Away-From Orientation

Last week, we discussed the secret of habit formation with the example of weight management goals, where instead of focusing on losing X kgs of weight, design your habits focusing on achieving Y kgs of a target weight. Let’s now discuss what is the principle that makes this work so magically.

Have you seen people who are clear only about what they don’t want in life? For example – “I don’t want an abusive relationship.” “I don’t want to fail.” “I don’t want a certain type of boss or job.” You may have noticed a pattern in their lives where, unfortunately, they keep attracting exactly what they don’t want. In NLP, these are called “Away From” orientations. The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more you seed these elements into your subconscious mind, seeking to make these your reality. 

Make a note of these powerful principles:

– You cannot not think of something without thinking about it.

– What you resist will persist.

So then what is the appropriate way to attract what you want in life? The answer lies in the question itself. For every element that you don’t want in your life, make a complete list of several contrasting elements that you want. For example, if you don’t want an abusive relationship, brainstorm on what kind of ideal relationship you want, and what are the exact components of an ideal relationship for you.

Meta-Magic – What do you see outside?
When a proud wealthy business tycoon heard that his school friend had become a renowned monk, he decided to visit him in his monastery. On reaching the silent place of worship, the tycoon was asked to wait as the monk was busy in his daily meditation practice. 

When the monk arrived, the businessman made it a point to show off his glittering diamond rings and beaming suit to his humble school friend. Grinning with pride, he asked the monk “What do you see in me?”

“I see Buddha in you.” The monk responded with a serene smile.

Although the monk never asked anything in return, the amused businessman responded, “Haha! What? Amidst all my wealth, you see Buddha in me? You know what? I see garbage in you.”

The monk kept smiling quietly. This infuriated the businessman even more. “Why are you not annoyed?” he asked the monk.

The monk replied, “The one who finds Buddha within sees Buddha outside too. The one who sees garbage within spots garbage outside too.”

My question to you is: What do you see in the world outside you?

Hook From The Book

“The idea of potential loss plays a large role in human decision-making. In fact, people seem to be more motivated by the thought of losing something than by the thought of gaining something of equal value.” – Robert B. Cialdini, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Movie Motivation

“Khud pe daya karna band karo, aur khud se pyaar karna seekho. Tum jaisi ho bilkul theek thak ho.” (translated to: “Stop pitying yourself, and learn to love yourself. You are fine the way you are.”) This powerful dialogue from the movie Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani is self-explanatory. 

How are you developing your self-worth, self-love and self-compassion? In this context, let me share with you one of my previously published books – Create The Life You Want: 6 Powerful Practices to Develop Your Self-Worth, Self-Love and Self-Compassion

This Week’s Winning Post

Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria