How to banish unwanted thoughts

How to banish unwanted thoughts

We all have them from time to time – some nagging thoughts keep popping into your head, and you can’t seem to banish them. They keep coming back at inopportune times, or whenever you least expect it.

You keep trying to change the thought, focus on something else. But the unwanted thought and the feelings associated with it keep nagging at you.

So how do you get rid of it? Is there a way?


Here are three simple yet powerful ways to banish unwanted thoughts using NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).

Much of our daily activities and thoughts are unconsciously and unintentionally operating. If we can learn ways of getting better control over our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and if we can be in control of how we respond to various situations, we can attain greater success in many areas of our lives.

NLP teaches, among other things, that our physiology, feelings and thoughts are interrelated. Our emotions and thoughts ebb and flow, and sometimes we get stuck with a repetitive and unwanted thought. We call them bad thoughts. It does not help to try and think of something else or deny that they exist. Attempting to avoid the thought keeps you paying attention to it, and in some ways, reinforces the thought.


1. “It’s just a thought!”

Making the connection between the thought and the feeling that arises from it is the problem. Thoughts and feelings are neither positive or negative, it’s the label we ascribe to them that colors our view of them. A thought or an emotion is just a thought or emotion; it has no “meaning” in and of itself. It may be an opinion or idea about something. It is when we attach feelings to our thoughts that they become powerful – and especially if we choose to act on them; that’s when we incur problems.

You may think your thoughts and feelings are real and not imagined, but keep in mind that there are usually many different ways any situation can be interpreted.

Everything we experience is filtered through our senses, our expectations, and our past experiences and how we learned to interpret them. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between real and imaginary.

The beliefs we hold tend to distort “reality.” The mind selectively chooses evidence that supports the belief, rejecting anything that does not support it.

Often in a given situation, there is an associative thought, which is a past memory of an experience that gets connected to a particular feeling or emotion. You can learn some effective strategies to banish or disempower these thoughts.

When you get an unwanted thought, remind yourself that it’s just a thought. It doesn’t mean it is real or true.

You’ll start to realize these thoughts are not worth thinking. The connection between the thought and feeling gets interrupted and broken, as the mind will get bored with them and pretty soon, you will not be thinking them.


2. Intentionally invite the thought

Allow yourself to intentionally call up the thought at times and situations that you choose. When we expect a thought to occur, it does, and then thinking about having the thought leads to anxiety and fear about having it. Resisting the thought will make it persist. This is a natural thing that happens occasionally to people.

When you deliberately think the unwanted thought, associate into it; be in your body, seeing, hearing and feeling what you see, hear and feel. Repeat this exercise at various times during the week. An amazing thing happens–the brain starts to learn that the thought is something that can be switched on or off at will. It is no longer automatic, out of your control.


3. White it out

A great technique is to let it go to “white out.” You’re having your unwanted thought, you say to yourself “It’s just a thought,” take a deep breath, relax, and see the image go to white out, like turning up the brightness knob on your TV until the picture fades to white. Practice as much as is necessary; you can learn to white it out instantly.

Do share in the comments below which technique works best for you. Bid farewell to unwanted thoughts.

To find out more about my live online interactive workshops and courses on Neuro Linguistic Programming by clicking here: https://w3coach.com/events/

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How it all began – the History of NLP

How it all began – the History of NLP

It all started in the early 1970’s in Santa Cruz, California, when Richard Bandler, then a 20-year-old psychology student at U.C. Santa Cruz, met and became friends with Dr. John Grinder, who was in his late 20’s and an associate professor of linguistics at the college.

NLP is often said to have originated through the work of a computer programmer and a linguist. This is because Bandler started out as a student of mathematics and was also studying computer science. He eventually became more interested in the behavioral science field and switched his major.

Bandler became fascinated with the methods used by Virgina Satir, internationally esteemed family therapist; co-founder of the Mental Research Institute (MRI) in Palo Alto, California. He also studied the work of Fritz Perls, highly regarded psychiatrist and psychotherapist who developed a form of psychotherapy that he coined Gestalt Therapy. Influenced by Perls’ work, Bandler started giving workshops and study groups that were centered around gestalt therapy. 

Bandler and Grinder started working together with the aim of developing a set of rules and principles that governed the language structure of gestalt therapy. In particular, they wanted to define the techniques and skills that would enable people to overcome their obstacles and issues. Their approach was to use whatever worked; if it didn’t work, they would move on to something else that did work. They analyzed the writings and recordings of Perls and Satir in an attempt to extract the essence of what made these two therapists exceptional and excellent in their work. 

This early work studying the techniques of Perls and Satir brought about two books by Bandler and Grinder, The Structure of Magic, Vol I & Vol II, which identify examples of language patterns that are characteristic of effective therapists, published in 1975 and 1976, respectively. Another book written by the duo, Frogs into Princes, published in 1979 and targeted mainly to therapists, is basically a transcript of an early seminar on the teachings. 

They were getting outstanding results from modeling the therapy methods of Perls and Satir. Other influences came from Gregory Bateson, (Anthropology and Cybernetics), Alfred Korzybski (General Semantics), Milton Erickson (Medical Hypnotherapy), and Noam Chomsky (Transformational Grammar

Particularly captivated by Milton Erickson’s approach, Bandler and Grinder incorporated Erickson’s manner of Conversational Hypnosis into the NLP toolkit; a way of speaking to the unconscious that was “artfully vague” and did away with authoritarian suggestions that Erickson felt were much more likely to be met with resistance from the unconscious. This approach of Erickson’s became a core characteristic of what was termed the “Milton Model,” a codification of Erickson’s hypnotic language style. These patterns have been elaborated in the book Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H.Erickson, Vol I & Vol II.

As their knowledge and insights developed, the pair tried these techniques out on friends and colleagues, which included Leslie Cameron Bandler, Robert Dilts, Judith DeLozier, and David Gordon. Each of these soon helped expand the work as the enthusiasm grew from this creative group of contributors.

Many of the NLP techniques that are in use today grew out of the research, ideas and trainings offered by these people and others who have continued to add to and develop the expanding scope of NLP practice.

An extremely insightful and riveting read for anyone interested in NLP is the book The Origins of Neuro Linguistic Programming, which brings together the recollections and thoughts of some of the main protagonists from the very early days of NLP. 

Find more books recommended for NLP on www.w3coach.com/nlp-books

To find out more about my live online interactive workshops and courses on Neuro Linguistic Programming by clicking here: https://w3coach.com/events

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How NLP can help you in your personal life

How NLP can help you in your personal life

When it comes to personal development, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) can give you a better understanding of how your mind functions in various experiences. It allows you to have more patience with those people around you by giving you tools to respond effectively in any given moment. You will learn skills that will enhance your life and be of great benefit to you.


Want to be a better learner?

In the area of education, you can accomplish all your academic goals by learning how to learn best. Our mind acts like a recording device and processes information through the five senses. Through NLP you can discover which sensory system allows you to best take in information in the most effective way in any given situation.

Many people deal with learning issues. Spelling doesn’t have to be a problem any more, when you shed those strategies that you may have been taught, and are not working for you.

For example, you may be trying to spell phonetically by sounding out words, which requires you to access auditory memory. In case you are a person who learns better with visual senses, then a better strategy would be to conquer spelling with ease by recalling a picture of the word spelled correctly in your mind.

Learning issues can vanish when you use the right sensory process and strategy for storing information and accessing your memory recall.


Want to be a more effective parent?

NLP helps you understand the basic differences between responses of the child’s mind vs. the adult mind. When you approach children from their map of the world, they feel understood and are much more willing to open up and really communicate. With NLP you learn to pace the emotional world of the child, so that you are able to be in tune with how they think and why they behave as they do. They can grow up confident, self-sufficient and independent, and realize their full potential without having to go through therapy as adults to undo well-meaning but misguided parenting techniques.


Not just parenting, what about your other relationships?

NLP gives you techniques to help you become a better listener and observer which radically enhances your effectiveness in all your relationships, be it with a partner, a child, a friend or a colleague.


Want to get better at a sport?

If you desire to perform better at sports, mental attitude is of paramount importance whether you are competing in community activities or at higher levels. Your mental attitude is very much involved in what kind of results you achieve – whether positive or negative (and, of course, this applies to all endeavors, not just sports). NLP teaches you how to put yourself into that optimum state which is often called “the zone.”


NLP presents methods that are effective and enduring, that enable you to clear the blockages from your past that may have been holding you back. You create the future you want as you begin to move in a positive direction.


You develop strategies for taking total control over your feelings, so that you are the one in the driver’s seat. You accept responsibility for your feelings and actions at any given time, and can move your life in the direction you want to go.


With NLP you can hone your mind into a concentrated focused state or access any resourceful state that you want at any time, allowing the flexibility you need to achieve your desired result.


Get some powerful recommended books on NLP at www.w3coach.com/nlp-books

To find out more about my live online interactive workshops and courses on Neuro Linguistic Programming by clicking here: https://w3coach.com/events/

To join the 21 email series of Basic NLP, join here for here: bit.ly/w3nlpemail


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How to install new habits by using NLP Swish Technique

How to install new habits by using NLP Swish Technique

The Swish technique in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) can help abolish unwanted habits and behaviors, such as smoking, overeating, nail-biting, etc, and replace them with desired behaviour. It works by changing your focus just when you are about to drop into the old habit unconsciously, putting the newly-introduced desirable habit into your conscious mind as a substitute, thus changing your focus and making you consciously aware of what you are about to do.

Note that whenever desiring to break a habit, it is very important to substitute a more desirable habit in its place. Trying to break a bad habit without substituting some desirable alternative in its place leaves a void, and the unconscious may try to replace the void by bringing back the old bad habit or another unwanted behavior in its place.

Here is the complete method explained in simple steps:

Step 1: You start out visualizing yourself performing the habit or behavior you want to break. You may also want to include a specific trigger that may occur before you break into this bad habit in your mental image.

Step 2: Now visualize yourself performing a substitute habit that is positive and productive – something that you can easily slip in as an alternative to the bad habit.

Step 3: Keep the two images separated from one another – either side by side in your mind, or you can have one picture behind the other.

Step 4: Envision the image of yourself engaged in the good (substitute) habit, and have this picture quickly fly into the image of you doing the unwanted habit.

Step 5: See the unwanted image actually smash into and through the bad-habit image. Imagine the bad-habit image shattering into a thousand pieces like shards of glass.

Step 6: It can actually be very effective to make a sound out loud, a “swoosh” or “swish” sound, each time you envision the two images colliding and crashing, and see the good-habit image now replace the bad-habit image.

Step 7: It’s a good idea to repeat this process at least once a day, or more at first until the good habit begins to become ingrained and you are no longer unconsciously performing the bad habit, but are now always aware that you have a choice.

This is one simple and effective method. It’s like having an angel that appears, gently changing your focus and reminding you if you start to revert back into the bad habit.






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18 Powerful Beliefs of Excellence

18 Powerful Beliefs of Excellence

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) makes certain presuppositions as its guiding force. These Beliefs of Excellence are convenient beliefs which, if you act as if they are true, they enable you to get better results for yourself and better results with other people whom you work with.

1. Everyone has a unique model of the world

Every individual has a unique combination of filters, with which he/she perceives the world. Hence every individual has a different model of the world.


2. Respect the other person’s model of the world

You may disagree with someone’s model of the world, but you need to respect that it’s different from yours, that it’s right for them. In doing so, you will be able to ensure a greater level of rapport and you will increase your chances of being able to assist them in coming up with a new and more empowering model that serves them better.


3. The map is not the territory

People respond to their own experiences, and not to reality. When someone describes their experience of life, those words are merely a representation of the model and not the actual experience itself. What they are describing is a completely filtered map of the actual land called reality.

This is why NLP is so powerful because it enables people to change their maps. Since what you are experiencing is not real anyways, you can use NLP processes to change your experience of the map in a way that works better for you.


4. People are not their behaviours

Irrespective of how someone is behaving, even if their behaviour may be destructive, inappropriate or damaging for themselves or for others, that is not who the person is. You are always more than your behaviours.

5. All behaviour is contextual

If you change the context of the behaviour, the meaning often will change.

6. All behaviour has a positive intention

Regardless of the inappropriateness or damaging nature of a behaviour, the highest level intention is always a positive one. To get someone to change an unwanted behaviour, they need to find other ways of getting the intention that the behaviour gives them, otherwise that behaviour won’t change.

7. The most reliable source of information about a person is their non-verbal communication

How they are behaving in the moment is much more important than what they are saying – especially while the person may tell you one thing, but their behaviour might be completely different and incongruent with what they are saying.


8. Everyone does the best they can with the resources they have

If people had better resources then they would behave differently. When you behave at your best, you are tapping into greater resources. When you are behaving at your worst, you aren’t tapping into as many resources as you would like to.


9. There are no unresourceful people only unresourceful states

If a person isn’t getting results that they want, it isn’t because they don’t have the resources. It’s because they are not in a state that is appropriate for them to access those resources.


10. Everyone has all the resources they need

It is not that we do not have the resources that we need in order to excel in life. The main concern is whether you are actually tapping into those resources fully and doing what you need to do or not. 

NLP helps you to tap into your complete potential and explore all the resources which are already there within you.


11. Meaning of the communication is in the response that you get

It doesn’t matter what you mean to say, what you intend to say, what you thought you said, what you thought you meant you said. The meaning of your communication is equal to the response that you get back from the other person.

12. Resistance in a person is a sign of lack of rapport

Whenever you get a resistance from any person, it is a sign that there is a lack of sufficient rapport either consciously or maybe even unconsciously. There is no such thing as a resistant person, only inflexible communicators.

To an NLP Practitioner, rapport isn’t something that just happens. It’s something you do. NLP teaches you powerful strategies to gain rapport.


13. You cannot not communicate

Communication is not limited to just verbal language. Even in silence, there is a strong element of communication. The non-verbal elements are equally important or at times even more important than the verbal components.


14. The person with the most flexibility of behaviour has the greatest influence on the outcome

NLP is about increasing your flexibility in the way you communicate and by increasing your flexibility, you dramatically increase the level of influence that you have over other people around you and on situations and circumstances.

15. All procedures should create choice and promote wholeness

All procedures must be designed to create choice and promote wholeness. All the techniques in NLP are designed to give yourself more choices in life and not to take them away.


16. Everyone is in charge of their Minds and therefore their Results

The results are ultimately the consequence of your beliefs and thought patterns. Your perceptions translate into your projections.


17. The mind and the body are part of the same system

Your psychology affects your physiology, and your physiology affects your psychology.


18. If someone can do it, anyone can do it.

This is the basis of modelling success. Once you find someone achieving the success, you realise that it is possible to achieve the success by you. With NLP, you can model your way to success.


NLP is not just a set of tools and techniques, NLP is a way of living that is guided by solid principles that come with their own processes to make you the person that you desire to be. To become an NLP Practitioner, get more details here: https://w3coach.com/events/

For more powerful and relevant articles and secrets on enhancing your Wealth, Wisdom and Wellness, follow me on my personal blog https://w3coach.com/blog/ now.

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