How does Modeling work in NLP

How does Modeling work in NLP

Modeling of exceptional performance behaviour requires observing and laying down the underlying processes inherent in that behaviour. It requires breaking down a complex system or a series of events into chunks small enough to be understood and reproduced.

What is the purpose of behaviour modeling? The point is to create a useful map or model of the behaviour for the purpose of reproducing or copying it by anyone who may want to. By identifying the individual elements that make up the essence of the behaviour, in a practical sense a person can reproduce the desired response or outcome. The model must give a description of the necessary thoughts and actions needed to achieve results that are similar. 

The development of Neuro-Linguistic Programming came about from the modeling of the thinking processes and behaviors of humans. It starts with learning about and understanding how the brain operates (neuro), and analyzing non-verbal and verbal language patterns (linguistic). Then a sequential set of strategies or programs (programming) teaches how to transfer the skills to others.

Richard Bandler began to model particular language patterns and behaviours that he observed from Fritz Perls (Gestalt therapy founder) and Virginia Satir (one of the founders of family therapy and systemic therapy), and, later, the founder of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis, Milton H. Erickson, M.D.  

The initial techniques of NLP came out of the language patterns and body gestures of the very talented and skillful therapists noted by Bandler and also observed by John Grinder, a linguist who later teamed up with Bandler. The “magic”, that these exceptional therapists were able to achieve, fit into a structure that could be understood, transmitted through communication, and executed by ordinary people, not just the master therapists who originated these triumphs. This became the foundation for NLP. 

Grinder observed Bandler at work one day and noted how Bandler was able to influence people with his use of language. Grinder had a sense that something systematic was occurring. Neither could explicitly describe the process. Bandler knew he had somehow picked it up from Perls and Satir. Grinder realized that if Bandler could teach him to do what he (Bandler) was doing, he could then put the process into a formula that could be articulated and copied.  




The tools and techniques developed within NLP identify and lay out specific patterns of human verbal and non-verbal interactions – fundamental characteristics of how people express themselves and behave. One of the most basic objectives of NLP’s use of modeling is to put these observable key behaviours – verbal and non-verbal conduct – into appropriate and actionable steps that produce desired results. 

It is not to distill the modeling process down to one “essential” or “correct” characterization of the cognitive process of any particular individual. Rather, it is to enable us to create a map whereby we can apply in an effective and advantageous way, certain strategies that we’ve modeled. The primary goal is to enable us to be more effective in our interactions and dealings.  

The exactness of the map – how closely it follows reality – is less important than how useful it becomes. The modeled strategies may be used to achieve some purpose that is constructive and functional, and it may be similar or different from the initial use of the model.

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How to banish unwanted thoughts

How to banish unwanted thoughts

We all have them from time to time – some nagging thoughts keep popping into your head, and you can’t seem to banish them. They keep coming back at inopportune times, or whenever you least expect it.

You keep trying to change the thought, focus on something else. But the unwanted thought and the feelings associated with it keep nagging at you.

So how do you get rid of it? Is there a way?


Here are three simple yet powerful ways to banish unwanted thoughts using NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).

Much of our daily activities and thoughts are unconsciously and unintentionally operating. If we can learn ways of getting better control over our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and if we can be in control of how we respond to various situations, we can attain greater success in many areas of our lives.

NLP teaches, among other things, that our physiology, feelings and thoughts are interrelated. Our emotions and thoughts ebb and flow, and sometimes we get stuck with a repetitive and unwanted thought. We call them bad thoughts. It does not help to try and think of something else or deny that they exist. Attempting to avoid the thought keeps you paying attention to it, and in some ways, reinforces the thought.


1. “It’s just a thought!”

Making the connection between the thought and the feeling that arises from it is the problem. Thoughts and feelings are neither positive or negative, it’s the label we ascribe to them that colors our view of them. A thought or an emotion is just a thought or emotion; it has no “meaning” in and of itself. It may be an opinion or idea about something. It is when we attach feelings to our thoughts that they become powerful – and especially if we choose to act on them; that’s when we incur problems.

You may think your thoughts and feelings are real and not imagined, but keep in mind that there are usually many different ways any situation can be interpreted.

Everything we experience is filtered through our senses, our expectations, and our past experiences and how we learned to interpret them. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between real and imaginary.

The beliefs we hold tend to distort “reality.” The mind selectively chooses evidence that supports the belief, rejecting anything that does not support it.

Often in a given situation, there is an associative thought, which is a past memory of an experience that gets connected to a particular feeling or emotion. You can learn some effective strategies to banish or disempower these thoughts.

When you get an unwanted thought, remind yourself that it’s just a thought. It doesn’t mean it is real or true.

You’ll start to realize these thoughts are not worth thinking. The connection between the thought and feeling gets interrupted and broken, as the mind will get bored with them and pretty soon, you will not be thinking them.


2. Intentionally invite the thought

Allow yourself to intentionally call up the thought at times and situations that you choose. When we expect a thought to occur, it does, and then thinking about having the thought leads to anxiety and fear about having it. Resisting the thought will make it persist. This is a natural thing that happens occasionally to people.

When you deliberately think the unwanted thought, associate into it; be in your body, seeing, hearing and feeling what you see, hear and feel. Repeat this exercise at various times during the week. An amazing thing happens–the brain starts to learn that the thought is something that can be switched on or off at will. It is no longer automatic, out of your control.


3. White it out

A great technique is to let it go to “white out.” You’re having your unwanted thought, you say to yourself “It’s just a thought,” take a deep breath, relax, and see the image go to white out, like turning up the brightness knob on your TV until the picture fades to white. Practice as much as is necessary; you can learn to white it out instantly.

Do share in the comments below which technique works best for you. Bid farewell to unwanted thoughts.

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How NLP can help you in your personal life

How NLP can help you in your personal life

When it comes to personal development, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) can give you a better understanding of how your mind functions in various experiences. It allows you to have more patience with those people around you by giving you tools to respond effectively in any given moment. You will learn skills that will enhance your life and be of great benefit to you.


Want to be a better learner?

In the area of education, you can accomplish all your academic goals by learning how to learn best. Our mind acts like a recording device and processes information through the five senses. Through NLP you can discover which sensory system allows you to best take in information in the most effective way in any given situation.

Many people deal with learning issues. Spelling doesn’t have to be a problem any more, when you shed those strategies that you may have been taught, and are not working for you.

For example, you may be trying to spell phonetically by sounding out words, which requires you to access auditory memory. In case you are a person who learns better with visual senses, then a better strategy would be to conquer spelling with ease by recalling a picture of the word spelled correctly in your mind.

Learning issues can vanish when you use the right sensory process and strategy for storing information and accessing your memory recall.


Want to be a more effective parent?

NLP helps you understand the basic differences between responses of the child’s mind vs. the adult mind. When you approach children from their map of the world, they feel understood and are much more willing to open up and really communicate. With NLP you learn to pace the emotional world of the child, so that you are able to be in tune with how they think and why they behave as they do. They can grow up confident, self-sufficient and independent, and realize their full potential without having to go through therapy as adults to undo well-meaning but misguided parenting techniques.


Not just parenting, what about your other relationships?

NLP gives you techniques to help you become a better listener and observer which radically enhances your effectiveness in all your relationships, be it with a partner, a child, a friend or a colleague.


Want to get better at a sport?

If you desire to perform better at sports, mental attitude is of paramount importance whether you are competing in community activities or at higher levels. Your mental attitude is very much involved in what kind of results you achieve – whether positive or negative (and, of course, this applies to all endeavors, not just sports). NLP teaches you how to put yourself into that optimum state which is often called “the zone.”


NLP presents methods that are effective and enduring, that enable you to clear the blockages from your past that may have been holding you back. You create the future you want as you begin to move in a positive direction.


You develop strategies for taking total control over your feelings, so that you are the one in the driver’s seat. You accept responsibility for your feelings and actions at any given time, and can move your life in the direction you want to go.


With NLP you can hone your mind into a concentrated focused state or access any resourceful state that you want at any time, allowing the flexibility you need to achieve your desired result.


Get some powerful recommended books on NLP at www.w3coach.com/nlp-books

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18 Powerful Beliefs of Excellence

18 Powerful Beliefs of Excellence

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) makes certain presuppositions as its guiding force. These Beliefs of Excellence are convenient beliefs which, if you act as if they are true, they enable you to get better results for yourself and better results with other people whom you work with.

1. Everyone has a unique model of the world

Every individual has a unique combination of filters, with which he/she perceives the world. Hence every individual has a different model of the world.


2. Respect the other person’s model of the world

You may disagree with someone’s model of the world, but you need to respect that it’s different from yours, that it’s right for them. In doing so, you will be able to ensure a greater level of rapport and you will increase your chances of being able to assist them in coming up with a new and more empowering model that serves them better.


3. The map is not the territory

People respond to their own experiences, and not to reality. When someone describes their experience of life, those words are merely a representation of the model and not the actual experience itself. What they are describing is a completely filtered map of the actual land called reality.

This is why NLP is so powerful because it enables people to change their maps. Since what you are experiencing is not real anyways, you can use NLP processes to change your experience of the map in a way that works better for you.


4. People are not their behaviours

Irrespective of how someone is behaving, even if their behaviour may be destructive, inappropriate or damaging for themselves or for others, that is not who the person is. You are always more than your behaviours.

5. All behaviour is contextual

If you change the context of the behaviour, the meaning often will change.

6. All behaviour has a positive intention

Regardless of the inappropriateness or damaging nature of a behaviour, the highest level intention is always a positive one. To get someone to change an unwanted behaviour, they need to find other ways of getting the intention that the behaviour gives them, otherwise that behaviour won’t change.

7. The most reliable source of information about a person is their non-verbal communication

How they are behaving in the moment is much more important than what they are saying – especially while the person may tell you one thing, but their behaviour might be completely different and incongruent with what they are saying.


8. Everyone does the best they can with the resources they have

If people had better resources then they would behave differently. When you behave at your best, you are tapping into greater resources. When you are behaving at your worst, you aren’t tapping into as many resources as you would like to.


9. There are no unresourceful people only unresourceful states

If a person isn’t getting results that they want, it isn’t because they don’t have the resources. It’s because they are not in a state that is appropriate for them to access those resources.


10. Everyone has all the resources they need

It is not that we do not have the resources that we need in order to excel in life. The main concern is whether you are actually tapping into those resources fully and doing what you need to do or not. 

NLP helps you to tap into your complete potential and explore all the resources which are already there within you.


11. Meaning of the communication is in the response that you get

It doesn’t matter what you mean to say, what you intend to say, what you thought you said, what you thought you meant you said. The meaning of your communication is equal to the response that you get back from the other person.

12. Resistance in a person is a sign of lack of rapport

Whenever you get a resistance from any person, it is a sign that there is a lack of sufficient rapport either consciously or maybe even unconsciously. There is no such thing as a resistant person, only inflexible communicators.

To an NLP Practitioner, rapport isn’t something that just happens. It’s something you do. NLP teaches you powerful strategies to gain rapport.


13. You cannot not communicate

Communication is not limited to just verbal language. Even in silence, there is a strong element of communication. The non-verbal elements are equally important or at times even more important than the verbal components.


14. The person with the most flexibility of behaviour has the greatest influence on the outcome

NLP is about increasing your flexibility in the way you communicate and by increasing your flexibility, you dramatically increase the level of influence that you have over other people around you and on situations and circumstances.

15. All procedures should create choice and promote wholeness

All procedures must be designed to create choice and promote wholeness. All the techniques in NLP are designed to give yourself more choices in life and not to take them away.


16. Everyone is in charge of their Minds and therefore their Results

The results are ultimately the consequence of your beliefs and thought patterns. Your perceptions translate into your projections.


17. The mind and the body are part of the same system

Your psychology affects your physiology, and your physiology affects your psychology.


18. If someone can do it, anyone can do it.

This is the basis of modelling success. Once you find someone achieving the success, you realise that it is possible to achieve the success by you. With NLP, you can model your way to success.


NLP is not just a set of tools and techniques, NLP is a way of living that is guided by solid principles that come with their own processes to make you the person that you desire to be. To become an NLP Practitioner, get more details here: https://w3coach.com/events/

For more powerful and relevant articles and secrets on enhancing your Wealth, Wisdom and Wellness, follow me on my personal blog https://w3coach.com/blog/ now.

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Get The Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with NLP

Get The Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with NLP

Book Summary – Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Richard Bandler 


Richard Bandler is the author of this book and also the cocreator of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). John Grinder and Bandler met at the University of California, Santa Cruz in the early 1970s and began to discuss their ideas on human behavior and effective ways to make changes that last forever. They developed the belief that humans form their opinions and perform due to the way they perceive their environment, and that changing of person’s perception can take place quickly.

What eventually became NLP was the practice of modeling behaviour to deliver a specific outcome. In other words, a mentally competent human being can watch how someone else does something successfully, and then simply duplicate that person’s actions and behaviors for the exact same result.

The successful achievement of desired goals happens through a process of studying the way people act and speak. You can then use proven techniques to persuade and convince them to help you achieve a particular result.

The author Bandler, also the creator of Design Human Engineering (DHE) and Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning (NHR), very basically illustrates the ability of NLP as something that allows “anyone to do something that anyone else has done.” He has authored several books on neurolinguistic programming, some with John Grinder and a few on his own. Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming is one of those solo efforts.

The Idea

The basis of this book is exactly as its title suggests. Richard Bandler believes that anyone can create the type of life they desire simply by applying NLP strategies, techniques, and truisms. In short, any negative behaviors you exhibit can be quickly changed. You simple model the actions, speech patterns, and mindset of people you would like to be like, while influencing and persuading others.

The author has helped tens of thousands of people from all walks of life, all ages and cultures, both men and women, to cure incurable addictions, fears and phobias. It is his expressed belief that the 35 proven NLP techniques taught in this book can help you also create whatever life you desire.

There are plenty of people around the world that claim a single session practicing the strategies taught in Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming was sufficient enough to rid themselves of negative habits and anxieties, and move on from past traumas that have halted their life and negatively affected it.

How the Book Is Laid Out

The book reviewed here is the paperback edition, 229 pages in length. You may also purchase a hardback, Kindle or audio book version.

An Epigraph contains a short quote by author Michael Neill about the effectiveness of Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming, as well as its affordability versus hiring Bandler for a one-on-one session.

Several respected doctors and authors then praise the author for putting powerful, life-changing techniques in the hands of people who previously had no access.

A Foreword is delivered by Doctor Paul McKenna, host of  “I Can Make You Thin” on The Learning Channel. That British self-improvement author and television broadcaster is also a hypnotist and NLP practitioner who uses those 2 skills to deliver often miraculous life changes.

He begins by comparing NLP to a mobile phone. When cellular phones first came to be they were large, bulky, not very capable and very expensive. Now mobile phones are smart, tiny and light, as well as affordable. McKenna makes the claim that Bandler’s early work creating NLP was not near as powerful and easy to get your hands on as it is currently.

He refers to NLP as “psychological technology” capable of quickly, sometimes instantly, removing addiction and other negative behaviors and delivering powerful life-changes.

Owen Fitzpatrick is the book’s editor. The psychologist and publisher chimes in with his belief that NLP is only now being accepted by the field of psychology for the power it has. He reminds us that the old psychological belief was that time was needed to affect positive change in one’s life.

He points to Bandler’s NLP techniques and strategies delivered in this book as capable of causing much quicker and more powerful changes in behavior that last, and sometimes are experienced instantly.

You first meet your author in the book’s Preface. He moves through his life from the 1970s to present time, and discusses the practical base for his beliefs. You also learn that the book is broken down into 4 major sections:

  1. Understanding NLP and Your Psychological Process
  2. Getting Over It
  3. Getting Through It
  4. Getting To It

An Introduction follows. You learn that the book was created as “a guide for your behavior” that helps you avoid therapy and make quick behavioral changes that have the biggest impact on your life.

The author explains in his introduction that you only need one quick, bad experience to develop a phobia. Perhaps you were involved in a flight which nearly ended in a crash. That one instance could cause you to have a fear of flying. He explains that since you can develop fears, addictions and other negative behaviors and issues quickly, you can also just as quickly reprogram your brain in the opposite direction.

Part 1 begins with a lesson on the power of your unconscious. Bandler explains that learning to consciously reprogram your subconscious is the “freeway to change” that may be currently shut down in your mind.

You are taught just how important the quality of your thinking is, and how to actually change your brain chemistry so that you control your thoughts, and that control leads to positive behaviors. The next bit of information is very powerful. You learn that it is actually easy to build new belief systems and behaviors when you develop a “structure of certainty” which is explained in detail.

Part 2, Getting Over It, is broken down into 6 sub-sections. This allows you to instantly access a particular area where you know you need to make serious changes. Those 6 sub-sections are:

  • Bad Suggestions
  • Fears and Phobias
  • Bad Memories
  • Grief
  • Bad Relationships
  • Bad Decisions

You learn to get past any addiction, trauma, emotion or fear that you currently suffer from in any of those areas using specific NLP techniques.

In Part 3, you learn how to Get Through specific instances that have caused you trouble in the past. The author uses physical recuperation, particularly negative habits and compulsions, stressful events, tests and obligations as real-world examples of problematic times you may experience. He shows exactly what NLP techniques should be used to render these previous problems powerless. This is explained in 6 sub-sections:

  • Habits and Compulsions
  • Physical Recovery
  • Resignation
  • Big Events
  • Tests (Exams and Interviews)
  • Obligations

Part 4 is all about moving on to the achievement of success, fun, love and peacefulness in any area of your life. Bandler shows that by implementing the lessons in the first 3 parts of the book, you start to “Get To” those things in your life which you have long been desiring but have been incapable of achieving, which have been explained over 8 sub-sections:

  • Fun
  • Love
  • Meeting People
  • Important Duties
  • Exercise
  • Be More Organised
  • Make More Money
  • Make Big Decisions

A short Conclusion is followed by a Glossary of useful terms, and additional NLP reading resources are recommended.


Who Benefits from Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Richard Bandler?

If you have tried goal setting, hypnosis, meditation or some other method of achieving a desired mental state and failed, this book may be for you. Bandler provides plenty of research and real-world examples which back up his belief that you can model any behavior that you desire to have in your life.

If you want to quit smoking, lose weight, stop drinking or stop being scared of simply being in public, these are all easily achievable. The author teaches you to change your brain chemistry and way of thinking quickly and easily. This leads to a change in the way you view your environment, allowing those thoughts to create new and positive behaviors.

Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming may benefit those people who may have failed using traditional behavioral change therapies and techniques in the past. The book is also hundreds or thousands of dollars less expensive than mentally intrusive psychotherapy lessons, and can be implemented literally instantly through a digital purchase.


Find more books recommended for NLP on www.w3coach.com/nlp-books