Are You a Vacationer, Volunteer or Victim?

by | Jun 3, 2023 | NLP Around You | 0 comments

Trust you enjoyed the surprise gift in the previous episode.

Last time I had talked about just taking the next step and the path emerges. Today I will share a real-life special incident with you, where the path really emerged. Stay tuned till the end to know what happened.

Thoughtful Thought Of The Week

Replace the English ‘OR’ with the Hindi ‘AUR’. Why choose “This or That” when you can have both “Yeh aur Woh”- Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Remember, it is your own body and own brain. You are not the victim of the Universe. You are the Universe.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP


A pair of twins grew up to be diametrical opposites – while one became an alcohol-addict, the other remained a teetotaler. When each of them were asked the reason for their respective preferences, surprisingly both gave the same reason:

Because my father was an alcohol-addict.”

Same family, same upbringing, same parents, same alcoholic father, same story, but different outcomes. How? What made them different from each other?

While it may be easy for us to assign reasons for our behaviour or our results to our environment or to the way we are conditioned, the bottomline here is that we are influenced, not by the situation or circumstances, but the meaning that we give to the situation or circumstances. Our mind is a meaning-making machine.

Some questions to reflect upon:

  1. What meaning are you making about the crucial issues in your life?
  2. What can be the other meanings of the same issue?


Are you a vacationer, a volunteer or a victim?

A man wanted to assess the worthiness of his 3 sons to choose his successor. He took them to a place where each of them were locked in separate messy rooms for a full day.

The eldest son spent the whole day cribbing about the mess and talking to himself about the stressful situation that his father had put him into.

The second one did not know what to do or why he was put in the room. So he slept for the whole day within the same mess.

The youngest one decided to clear up the whole room and segregated the stuff that could be useful and also noted down how he could put most of the things to better use.

This simple test made it easier for the father to select his youngest son to be his ideal successor.

My question to you is:

What patterns do you notice in your thoughts and behaviour?

In which situations, are you a Vacationer (who prefers to chill out and take every opportunity to laze around)?

In which situations, are you a Volunteer (who prefers to make the most of the available options and make them work for you)?

In which situations, are you a Victim (who prefers to put the responsibility or blame on the situations and circumstances around you)?

Hook From The Book

Be monk-like in your discipline with words and zen-like in the inner joy of saying more with less”.

Smart Brevity – The Power of Saying More with Less, by Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen and Roy Schwartz

Movie Motivation

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“Aaya hu, kuch to like jaunga” (loosely translated as “I have come here, I will take back something with me”). This funny dialogue from the comedy movie Andaz Apna Apna reminds us to be clear about the outcome at all times. While recently attending a very powerful training on Negotiations, the trainer mentioned that it is important to be clear about your thresholds, must-haves, wish-to-haves and concessions in any deal. And that reminded me of this catchline from the character Crime Master Gogo who is always absolutely clear about taking something of benefit to him from every situation.

Announcement of the Week

So here is how the path emerged recently in my NLP journey. 15 months ago, I had published a research paper with the International Journal of Neurolinguistics and Gestalt Practice (IJNGP) on “Interpretation of Metaphors” (Here is the link to the research paper). This effort has got recognised by the McStem Eduversity USA, resulting in me being awarded an Honorary Doctorate in Literature in NLP. The Winning Post this week is about this announcement.

With utmost heartfelt gratitude to you for your continuous support and love always,

See you again next week.

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

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