Let’s begin with a quick reflection of 2023. How would you define your 2023 in one line? Do share in the comments or reply to this newsletter. 

Thoughtful Thought

“Self-doubt is the wind, which blows off your lamp of success.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“If you go through the world looking for excellence, you will find excellence. If you go through the world looking for problems you will find problems. Or as the Arabic saying puts it, ‘What a piece of bread looks like depends on whether you are hungry or not’.”- Joseph O’Connor, Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People

One Minute NLP – Reflect, Reset, Rise
When you drive a car, how important is the reverse gear? Even as you begin to manoeuvre your car out of the parking space, so that you can drive it for a longer and new distance, you may often need to apply the reverse gear before you move the car into the appropriate forward gear.

While we are saying goodbye to 2023 and setting out on a new ride for 2024, it might be a good idea to shift gears, go back into reverse gear to reflect about 2023, reset and recalibrate ourselves into the present moment and then get ready to rise further into 2024 and beyond.

My New Year Gift to you today is the recording of the session which I conducted for my NLP Family on 27th Dec 2023 where we brainstormed on reflections from 2023 and embraced ourselves for 2024 through visualisations. Here is your link to the 90 minutes power packed session ‘RRR – Reflect, Reset & Rise – from 2023 to 2024’.

P.S.: The access to this video is available only for one week. To get maximum value from this session, please watch it before you enter the new year or, at the latest, in the first couple of days of the year.

Meta-Magic – Who is judging you?

A painter having completed his course decided to create his debut painting. As he was wondering how to get people’s feedback, his eyes lit up with an idea. He went to the nearby street corner and left the painting to showcase it, along with a note that read – “I am a newbie painter, and this is my first painting. Please give feedback by putting a cross wherever you find a mistake.”

When he returned in the evening, his eyes widened in shock and soon welled up with tears. He went to his master with his head hung low. When asked, he opened his heart with a lump in his throat, “I am the worst painter ever. Look at the number of crosses on my painting.”

The master took a deep breath and smiled. “Will you do what I ask you to?” He asked while gazing deep into the disciple’s eyes. When the disciple nodded yes, the master asked him to leave a replica of the same painting with another note at the same place. The only change was in the wordings of the note he had to leave there. This time, the note read – “I seek your feedback on my debut painting. I have kept a paintbrush and colours here. Please pick up and correct the wrong strokes to help me to improve.”

The next day, the disciple left the painting with a note paintbrush and some colours. When he returned in the evening, he could not believe his eyes. Not even a single correction was made to the painting. Brimmed with joy, when the Disciple returned to the master and told him what had transpired, the master said, “It is easy to point out a mistake but tough to correct it.”

My question to you is: In which areas of your life, do you feel driven by the need to get judged by other people’s definition of you?

Hook From The Book

“There are many realities. There are many versions of what may appear obvious. Whatever appears as the unshakeable truth, it’s exact opposite may also be true in another context. After all, one’s reality is but perception, viewed through various prisms of context.” – Amish Tripathi, The Immortals of Meluha

Movie Motivation

“It’s our instinct to chase what’s getting away, and to run away from what’s chasing us.” How would you relate to this quote from the movie The Great Gatsby? What are you chasing in your life?

This Week’s Winning Post

We have access to all the resources we need.

Wish you and your family a 

Happy
Abundant
Prosperous
Phenomenal
Enriching
Nourishing
Intentional
Noble
Graceful

H.A.P.P.E.N.I.N.G. 2024!! See you next year!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

As we get ready to say farewell to 2023, what are some of the old un-helpful limitations that you are willing to say farewell to?

Thoughtful Thought

“Sometimes not knowing can be more powerful than knowing.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Remember: the journey is the destination.”- John Grinder

One Minute NLP – Towards Orientation

Last week we discovered about how adding “what you want” becomes a game changer in manifesting your desired life. In NLP, these are called “Towards” orientations. Let’s dive deeper and understand the psychology about how using these “towards” statements play on your subconscious for better results every time.

This reminds me of the story of a man who after walking endlessly in the desert, spotted a sole tree and sat under it. “Ah! Wish I could get some water” – he murmured to himself. And boom! the water appeared. With his eyes wide open, the man quickly gulped the water. After that, he thought about food and the food appeared, he thought about juice and juice appeared. He thought about sleep and he had the most relaxing sleep of his life.

On waking up, fear got better of him and he began doubting that the tree has been possessed by demons. “Oh I don’t want to be killed by this monstrous tree, which is fulfilling all my wishes.”

And instantly, he was killed.

The tree was the Kalpavriksha tree – the tree of manifestation – it listens to whatever you think and gives to you. Had the man said, “I want to live under this monstrous tree come what may”, he would not have invited his own death.

Your mind is just like this Kalpavriksha tree. Your thoughts become your echo and, thereby, your reality. So if you have been focusing on what you want to avoid, instead start focusing on what you want. 

Meta-Magic – The Shark in Your Tank

Japanese fishermen used to go fishing far distances into the deep seas, but were always concerned about the freshness of the fish as a culinary delight. Even though the freezers installed on the boats helped to keep the fish frozen and enabled the boats to spend more days at sea, the taste of the frozen fish was not as good as that of the fresh fish.

To counter this, the fishing companies installed fish tanks in the boats, so that the fish could stay alive even while the fishermen continued fishing for more. The drawback here was that because the fish would not move much in the tanks, their freshness would again get lost.

Finally, a creative mind came up with a solution and the fishing companies introduced a small shark into the tank. While the shark ate a few fish, most of them remained alive and more importantly, active and fresh.

My Question to you is – Do you need a shark in your tank in order to keep you active and fresh?

Hook From The Book

“Love doesn’t always happen to strengthen our beliefs. Sometimes it happens to destroy all our previous beliefs and faith and gives us a chance to re-look at our own conclusions.” Marry Me Stranger by Novoneel Chakraborty

Movie Motivation

“Tarik pe tarik, tarik pe tarik…” (translated to: “From one date to another to another…”) Although this dialogue from the movie Damini is in the context of the judgement being deferred from one court hearing date to the next, I invite you to think of this in the context of what are those actions that you are shifting, deferring or procrastinating from one date to the next, waiting for that one fine day – planning every time to start from the next week or the next month or the next year, and the date just keeps shifting. 

As the Chinese saying goes – “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is NOW.” 

This Week’s Winning Post

NLP is just a toolkit, NLP is a mindset shift.

Wish you a Merry Christmas and Amazing Holidays!! See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thoughtful Thought

“Life becomes lively when you add life to it.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Once they have a choice, people always make the best choice. The trouble is that people don’t think they have one.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Away-From Orientation

Last week, we discussed the secret of habit formation with the example of weight management goals, where instead of focusing on losing X kgs of weight, design your habits focusing on achieving Y kgs of a target weight. Let’s now discuss what is the principle that makes this work so magically.

Have you seen people who are clear only about what they don’t want in life? For example – “I don’t want an abusive relationship.” “I don’t want to fail.” “I don’t want a certain type of boss or job.” You may have noticed a pattern in their lives where, unfortunately, they keep attracting exactly what they don’t want. In NLP, these are called “Away From” orientations. The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more you seed these elements into your subconscious mind, seeking to make these your reality. 

Make a note of these powerful principles:

– You cannot not think of something without thinking about it.

– What you resist will persist.

So then what is the appropriate way to attract what you want in life? The answer lies in the question itself. For every element that you don’t want in your life, make a complete list of several contrasting elements that you want. For example, if you don’t want an abusive relationship, brainstorm on what kind of ideal relationship you want, and what are the exact components of an ideal relationship for you.

Meta-Magic – What do you see outside?
When a proud wealthy business tycoon heard that his school friend had become a renowned monk, he decided to visit him in his monastery. On reaching the silent place of worship, the tycoon was asked to wait as the monk was busy in his daily meditation practice. 

When the monk arrived, the businessman made it a point to show off his glittering diamond rings and beaming suit to his humble school friend. Grinning with pride, he asked the monk “What do you see in me?”

“I see Buddha in you.” The monk responded with a serene smile.

Although the monk never asked anything in return, the amused businessman responded, “Haha! What? Amidst all my wealth, you see Buddha in me? You know what? I see garbage in you.”

The monk kept smiling quietly. This infuriated the businessman even more. “Why are you not annoyed?” he asked the monk.

The monk replied, “The one who finds Buddha within sees Buddha outside too. The one who sees garbage within spots garbage outside too.”

My question to you is: What do you see in the world outside you?

Hook From The Book

“The idea of potential loss plays a large role in human decision-making. In fact, people seem to be more motivated by the thought of losing something than by the thought of gaining something of equal value.” – Robert B. Cialdini, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Movie Motivation

“Khud pe daya karna band karo, aur khud se pyaar karna seekho. Tum jaisi ho bilkul theek thak ho.” (translated to: “Stop pitying yourself, and learn to love yourself. You are fine the way you are.”) This powerful dialogue from the movie Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani is self-explanatory. 

How are you developing your self-worth, self-love and self-compassion? In this context, let me share with you one of my previously published books – Create The Life You Want: 6 Powerful Practices to Develop Your Self-Worth, Self-Love and Self-Compassion

This Week’s Winning Post

Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

“31 is the new 365”. Or let’s precisely say “31 is the new 366.” What actions or habits are you implementing in December 2023 to make 2024 your most awesome year yet!!! We will be delving into a simple secret of habit formation in today’s episode of NLP Around You.

Thoughtful Thought

“The span of light doesn’t define its power.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“All we are ever doing is putting things together or taking things apart.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – The Secret of Habit Formation

“Habit planning happens on a conscious level, and habit formation happens on a subconscious level.”

When you plan a habit and touch upon all the relevant aspects like what to do, when to do, how much to do, and how to track and measure, all of that is the task of conscious mind where logic and calculations take the front seat. Once the habit is planned and mapped out, the ball goes into the court of the subconscious mind. 

Let us take an example of forming a habit of exercising daily. What is the purpose of this habit? Your conscious mind is very clear that you want to lose weight. Now the subconscious mind is like a parrot, which not just repeats but also follows the instructions as it is. For it, “losing” presupposes an existence of something that needs to be lost. This something in this case is Weight. So what happens is a cycle of losing and then again gaining so that it can be lost. Can you relate to a gain-loss cycle like this in your own weight management goals?

So then, how can you form your habit for your weight-loss goal without focusing on losing weight? The difference that makes the difference lies in training your subconscious mind in a way that is focused on what you want rather than what you don’t want. In this case, instead of focusing on losing X kgs of weight, design your habits focusing on the goal of achieving Y kgs of a target weight.

What is the principle that makes this work so magically? Keep the curiosity alive till the next weekend, when the next episode of NLP Around You arrives in your inbox. 

Meta-Magic – Are You in Your Own Prison?

This week’s story was shared by my book coach Heena M Shrivastava in one of her sessions in the Writernaama Book Club.

At his swearing-in ceremony as the President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela invited all the jailers of that very prison in which he was tortured and humiliated during his 27 years of rigorous imprisonment.

His well-wishers were perplexed as to why he would want to invite those people who gave him uncountable moments of unreasonable shame, insult and torture. “If I did not invite them, I would still be in prison,” Mandela said with a conviction in his smile.

He is often quoted to say – “As I walked out to the door towards the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I did not leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I would still be in prison.”

My question to you is – Which prison do you need to get out from?

Hook From The Book

“Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet.” – Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

Movie Motivation

“Bhagwaan ke bharose mat baithiye – kya pata bhagwan humare bharose baitha ho.” (translated to: “Don’t sit idle putting all your plans to God. Maybe He is also waiting for you to have a plan.”) This powerful quote from the movie Manjhi The Mountain Man reminds us that you can wait for “one day” for things to happen to you, or you can choose to make today “day one” and make things happen. What are you choosing now?

This Week’s Winning Post

What are Meta programs in NLP?

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

As we are ready to fly into the new year next month, may I ask you what are your new year resolutions for 2024? No, hold on… let me reframe that. What are your year-end resolutions for 2023? Rather than aspiring for all the wonderful changes that you wish to make starting from 1st Jan 2024, how about pondering about what changes you can start making over the month of December 2023 so that you enter 2024 in your best avatar? #31isthenew365

Thoughtful Thought

“Just as the skin needs vitamin E to glow, the mind needs vitamin I (introspection) to grow.”- Dr Mehernosh J Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“A lot of people are doing life and not living life.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP – Unconscious Actions

Do these kind of thoughts cross your mind?

– Why did I do what I did?

– How could I make this decision despite knowing the pros and cons?

If any of the above thoughts are ringing any kind of bells in your mind, you are not alone.

The reason why we do what we do is anchored to our perceptions, which then take the shape of beliefs, and from there on begins the trail of unconscious actions.

Yes, these actions can be called ‘unconscious’ because we rarely dare to unbox the beliefs behind our actions. In this journey of life, awareness is the speed breaker of your actions, and beliefs and perceptions are the signboards.

My question: How many beliefs have you questioned while taking certain specific actions?

Meta-Magic – The Watermelon Method to Happiness

“I have seen the richest of rich people, yet their eyes don’t sparkle with joy. Tell me, Master, what is the secret of happiness?” When Japanese master Tao Su was asked this question by his disciple, his first response was a silent smile. A smile that bespoke the serenity in the unknown.

The disciple, however, failed to read that and scratched his head while waiting for an answer.

“Would you do as I say?” Asked the master while giggling a bit. The disciple nodded a desperate yes.

“Go to the town and buy the biggest watermelon. Carry it on your head without using the support of your hands, and come back here while balancing it. The condition is to walk back home instead of returning through any vehicle.”

The disciple’s eyes widened in surprise. His mind began weighing the results and trying to connect the dots, but he abided by whatever the master had instructed.

After finding the most enormous watermelon, the disciple followed what the master said and was mocked by many. Some labelled him mad, considering why he was not using his hands. Some tried to ask him, but he kept mum. This landed him as the clown for the town, and many kids mimicked him and laughed their hearts out.

The disciple was initially perplexed and annoyed and even cursed his master for making him undergo such kind of insults. Later, while walking, he began enjoying the walk and joined the chorus of joy and laughter with others.

When he reached back to the master, the master beamed with joy and asked about his experience. The disciple, in response, laughed and said that initially, he was feeling annoyed. Still, he never knew when it converted to joy.

The master replied, “Dear disciple, our life is like that. You might be carrying that heavy problem on your head and trying to balance in life. Many people will sneer at you in those moments, but if you keep your calm and focus on the process, you will be happy.”

My question to you is – How much attention are you giving to the watermelon on your head?

Hook From The Book

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.”

― Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Movie Motivation

“Jab hum khud ko samajh lete hain na, tab aur koi humare baare mein kya sochta hai, fark nahi padta” (translated to: “When we truly understand ourselves, it doesn’t matter what others think about us.”) 

My question to you is: How aware are you about your own self?

This Week’s Winning Post

What makes you emotionally reactive

See you next week!

Thoughtfully Yours,