While we all are busy chasing many algorithms in life, I am sure that this newsletter brings you the algorithm of peace and solace in your life.

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

“Present yourself with the presence of your self.” – Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Don’t re-open old wounds in order to examine their origins. Leave them healed.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP

“The meaning of the communication is in the response that you get.”

How often have you heard yourself saying: “He/She did not understand what I wanted to say”?

One of the presuppositions in NLP is that the meaning of communication is in the response that you get.

The meaning of the communication is not what you intended to communicate but what actually gets communicated. This presupposition in NLP puts the responsibility on the sender of the communication to ensure that you communicate in a manner that the other person understands as per their understanding or in their language.

We follow this principle automatically when we are trying to communicate with someone who doesn’t understand our language. We attempt to bridge the language barrier by resorting to symbolic gestures or using translators to ensure that the other person understands it in the manner that works for them.

But when it comes to communicating with people who understand our own language, we miss out on the fact that our communication is built by us by applying our own filters of our mind, whereas the other person would be processing it by applying the filters of “their” mind.

So, the next time you find the other person not understanding what you meant, ask yourself: how can I say it differently which strikes the right chord with their model of the world?

Meta-Magic

And The Path Emerges…

Imagine, you are walking towards a destination, and suddenly there is complete darkness and all you have is a torch, what would you do? Well, you would switch on the torch and move further on the path, right?

Would you worry about where would you end up reaching?

Would you worry about how darker it is going to be ahead?

Well in such situations, wouldn’t it be better to just look at the next step and take it?

You would move further only to the extent of the path that is highlighted by your torch, without bothering about seeing the entire path ahead.

The moment we take the next step in the dark, we beam the torch light a bit further and the path emerges. Step by step, we move ahead on the path that emerges.

To share an interesting incident, when I conducted my first batch of NLP Practitioner, the training manual was not pre-designed. The handouts given out at the end of each class eventually became my Course Manual. So the batch began first, and the path of manual emerged later.

My question for you today is: Which path of your life seems pitch dark as of now? Are you ready to walk that much-needed next step to make the path emerge by itself?

Hook From The Book

“You aim to be something you are not, you will always fail. Aim to be you. Aim to look and act and think like you. Aim to be the truest version of you. Embrace that you-ness. Endorse it. Love it. Work hard at it. And don’t give a second thought when people mock it or ridicule it. Most gossip is envy in disguise”.

– Midnight Library by Matt Haig

Movie Motivation

“You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” – Inception

Watch the clip here.

Winning Post of the Week:

This week’s most popular post is the one that explains how Thoughtfully Yours is not just another book of quotes.

Catch it here

Free gift – it’s time to celebrate:

It’s a good time to celebrate our 10th baby step together in the journey of NLP Around You. Here is a tiny gift for you to relish and grow. Keep going, keep growing, and keep glowing.

Simple Hacks to live a Fulfilled Life

Download your file from here.

See you soon

We will meet again next week with another interesting episode of NLP Around You, and yet another announcement coming up soon.

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

By now, with more than 3,000+ subscribers within 2 months of this newsletter, you have confirmed my belief that you are not missing the right touchstone of success. Although this is just the ninth newsletter and there are miles to go to build milestones, I know that this is only making our bond stronger.

Thoughtful Thought Of The Week

“Let’s approach this May with the attitude of COME WHAT MAY!” – Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“You are born with only two fears. Fear of falling and fear of loud noise. All the rest is learned. And it’s a lot of work.” – Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP

The Other Side of Should & Must

I should be working till late night.

I should be going to gym.

I must get this for my kid else he will be labelled as….

I must enrol for this course….

Sounding familiar?

Ever gave it a thought, as to how these simple words like ‘should’ & ‘must’ are playing on our mind? In NLP, these are called as “Modal Operator of Necessity”, where words like ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘need to’, ‘have to’, etc create a compulsion in our mind based on certain perceived consequences. More often than not, such compulsions restrict our potential to think and decide with absolute autonomy.

How to deal with this?

1. Awareness: Check how many of your self-talk patterns are having words like ‘should’ and ‘must’.
2. Question the validity of the perceived consequences – For example: What would happen if I worked till late at night? What would happen if I did not work till late at night?

Such questions will help you to reflect, weigh and introspect whether the thought is unconsciously implanted without reasoning or consciously imbibed. Not all ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ need to be ignored. At the same time, not all ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ need to be accepted as the ultimate reality, without validating the basis of the perceived consequences.

Meta-Magic

Our social media feed shows us what we love to scroll and like. It is like the mirror which reflects back only what we like to see. If you are liking and scrolling cooking reels, you’ll get to see more of cooking reels.

Ever realized that a similar algorithm works on your consciousness too? Any belief or thought gets strengthened by how you shape it through words. Positivity is infectious and so is negativity.

The good news? Just as you can tweak what shows up on your social media feed by changing your viewing preferences, you can also tweak your mental algorithm by changing your thought patterns.  NLP is one of the ideal tools that can help you to do.

My question today is: Can you catch the rhythm of your inner algorithm?

Hook From The Book

The world we experience as ‘out there’ is actually a reconstruction of reality that is built inside our heads. It’s an act of creation by the storytelling brain. – The Science of Storytelling by Will Storr

Movie Motivation

Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses – Peaceful Warrior

Please comment or reply to this newsletter with what you understand by this profound line.

Weekly Winner Post

This week’s popular post is about how you can change your words to change your world.

Here is the link

See you soon

Thank you for pouring in your love and best wishes. Do feel free to invite your friends to join the newsletter on www.NLParoundyou.com

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

Thank you for pouring your votes on last week’s poll – results are shared further in this episode. It is reassuring for me that I am playing the right music that mutually enhances our worth. I am filled with immense gratitude and this keeps me going to bring out a better newsletter every time.

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

“When you focus on your core, you can do much more.”- Mehernosh Randeria, Thoughtfully Yours

NLP Quote Corner

“The easier you can make it inside your head, the easier it will make outside your head.”- Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP

We learn from patterned repetition. Ideally, we learn a task or behaviour that produces results supporting our goals. That is where behaviour modeling comes into play. The point is to create a useful map or model of the behaviour for the purpose of reproducing or copying it by anyone who may want to. By identifying the individual elements that make up the essence of the behaviour, in a practical sense a person can reproduce the desired response or outcome.

This is why athletes study other athletes in action. YouTube made a tremendous change in the availability of videos of athletes in action. If you are a tennis player wanting to maximize your serve, then watch videos of Serena Williams or Roger Federer. A tremendous amount of insight is available for athletes, dancers, runners, jockeys, and just about any activity you can think of.

Creating positive models for success helps us avoid non-productive elements that waste energy and time. Mapping is also very powerful for identifying communication habits working against the desired outcome. For example, a speaker pointing to the audience elicits a negative interpretation by pointing. However, if she would reach out to the audience with palms facing up, this conveys a more open, generous message.

You can read more about modeling in my article here:

https://w3coach.com/how-does-modeling-work-in-nlp/

Meta-Magic

A disciple came to Buddha and asked him for the secret of success. Buddha replied, “Will you do what I ask you to?” The disciple said yes as he was desperate to find the secret of success. Buddha told him to go to the seashore and check all the stones and bring back a stone that was warm.

The disciple followed the instructions and began checking all the stones at the seashore. He used to pick up every stone one by one, touch and check its temperature, and then eventually throw it back, as each happened to be a cold stone. He came again on the next day and repeated the process and returned back empty-handed. On the third day too, he did not get the warm stone. He picked up the last stone before departing home and threw it back, and then realised after throwing, that it was the warm stone. Once thrown back to the sea, finding it back would almost be impossible.

The disciple went to Buddha in dejection and told him what had conspired. Buddha smiled and said, “So my friend, you just learned the secret of success. It was in that missed chance, which you accidentally tossed off out of habit.”

My question to you is: Have you discovered your secret of success? Or have you accidentally tossed it away out of habit?

Hook from the Book

“You don’t make a great museum by putting all the art in the world into a single room. That’s a warehouse. What makes a museum great is the stuff that is not on the walls. Someone says no. A curator is involved, making conscious decisions about what should stay and what should go. There’s an editing process. There is a lot more stuff off the walls than on the walls. The best is a sub-sub-subset of all the possibilities.” – Rework – Change The Way You Work, by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Movie Motivation

“What is Life? It depends on the Liver” This is the opening dialogue of the movie Andhadhun, which is also borrowed from William James’ quote: “Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver.”

In the movie, the word “liver” is used as a Phonological Ambiguity (a language pattern discussed in NLP), where the liver could mean the organ or it could be the person who is living.

The message I would like to pass on here is that life depends on the person who is living it. How do you choose to live your life – in the Champion Mode or in the Victim Mode?

Weekly Winner Post:

The most popular post this week is the reel where I am handing over the autographed copy of my book Thoughtfully Yours to my book coach Heena M Shrivastava. Make sure to read the interesting caption.

Here is the reel.

Last Week’s Poll Results:

So here are the results of last week’s poll. I had asked which section of this newsletter is your favourite.

The highest votes are in favour of Meta-Magic and then followed by Movie Motivation and One-Minute NLP

Thank you for pouring in your love and best wishes. Do feel free to invite your friends to join the newsletter on www.NLParoundyou.com

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

With every newsletter, I intentionally revert to the previous issue with an outcome to connect it to the current issue in a heartwarming way. With this 7th episode, I guess I can ask you whether NLP Around You has become your coffee or the pill without looking outside of yourself? Any other additions or suggestions are always welcome.

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

“The colour of fitness is RED – Rest, Exercise and Diet” – Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“Understanding why something happened, doesn’t help to reduce the problem” – Richard Bandler

One Minute NLP

One of the first things we wonder in any transaction is “What’s in it for me?” It often occurs in business, where a salesperson or a business partner suggests you to purchase or do something. Then the brain engages and we start to think through potential benefits or problems with the offer.

The funny thing is we often don’t inspect our own personal choices with the same microscope.

Being super clear about the Outcome is one of the Operational Principles of NLP. These help us generate rapid behavior modification.

This is much more of a “How” than a “Why” question. For example, instead of asking “Why” am I not achieving my fitness goals, ask “How” can I achieve my fitness goals.

Meta-Magic

A violin was one of the exquisite pieces up for bidding at the auction. While this violin had been extensively used by a world-famous departed violinist, the bids pouring in were abysmally low. His wife, sitting in a wheelchair, was almost on the brink of tears, because this auction was the last straw of hope for raising her three kids.

Suddenly, an old man appeared from one corner, lifted the violin, started fine-tuning it, and then played it beautifully. The audience was transfixed by the melodious performance. After a few minutes, the old man returned the violin to the centre and walked away. To the surprise of the auctioneers, the musical performance now resulted in a dramatic increase in the bids for the violin.

My Question to you is: Are you playing the right music that reflects your true worth?

Hook from the Book

“We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

– J.K.Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Movie Motivation

“There are no two words in the English language more harmful than ‘good job’.” – Whiplash. This dialogue reminds of the quote from Jim Collins: “Good is the enemy of Great. Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.”

Weekly Winner Post:

This week’s most popular post combines the left and right side of the brain as we understand the Mathematics of Emotions.

Here is the post.

Poll of the Week:

I would love to have your views this week. Which section of this Newsletter has been your favourite?

– Thoughtful Thought of the week

– NLP Quote Corner

– One Minute NLP

– Hook from the Book

– Meta-Magic

– Movie Motivation

– Weekly Winner Post

Please do share your response here in this Anonymous Poll:

https://forms.gle/FQ4xETyyaH5k1zfUA

The results of the poll will be shared with you in next week’s edition. See you soon!

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria