You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

Once upon a time, a sparrow, who had laid three eggs in her nest, went out to get food. When it returned, it saw that one egg was missing. That egg was picked up by a monkey, who took it to a farm and placed it amongst the eggs of a hen. At the expected time, the chickens came out and so did a little sparrow. The sparrow followed the lifestyle of chickens and never learnt to fly.

“You don’t know what you don’t know.”

The sparrow never knew that it was not a hen. Why? Because every creature on this planet has a limited knowledge. Yes! Every creature including the big thinking hats amongst humankind too. Be it Steve Jobs or Satya Nadela, nobody knows it all. 

Believe it or not, many of us have been that sparrow who was designed to fly, but remained unaware of its own capability. What makes us different from animals is NOT the learning, but the conscious awareness about the power of learning. Knowing that we don’t know is the first step towards knowing ourselves and our egos deeply.

 

“You don’t know what you don’t know” – this phrase highlights the importance of understanding the limitations of our own knowledge. It reminds us that we may not be aware of important information or insights that are crucial to making informed decisions. This applies to all areas of life, from personal relationships to business and management.

 

The repercussions of discarding this mindset may result in lack of ideas, rigid mindset, high-level stereotyping, cognitive biases etc.

 

At its core, the phrase “You don’t know what you don’t know” is about humility and self-awareness. It encourages us to acknowledge that there may be gaps in our understanding and that we should always be open to learning new things. It also reminds us to be cautious and humble in our interactions with others, recognizing that they too may have valuable insights that we are not aware of.

 

One of the most common examples of “You don’t know what you don’t know” is in the realm of technology. Many people assume that they are knowledgeable about technology simply because they use it every day. However, the reality is that technology is constantly evolving, and there are always new developments and innovations that we may not be aware of. For example, most of the daily users of social media platforms, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, are not experts in the complex algorithms that power these platforms, and we may not fully understand the impact that they have on our lives.

 

In business and management, the concept of “You don’t know what you don’t know” can be particularly important. Business leaders must be constantly vigilant, seeking out new information and insights to stay ahead of the competition. They must also be willing to admit when they don’t know something, and seek out the expertise of others who may have a different perspective. 

The advent of Artificial Intelligence tools like ChatGPT is also the result of a similar mindset, where we as humans accept that we don’t know what we don’t know.

 

Finally, “You don’t know what you don’t know” is also applicable to personal relationships – whether romantic, platonic, or professional. It is important to recognize that we don’t know everything about the other person. We may make assumptions or judgments based on incomplete information or our own biases, without fully understanding their experiences or perspectives. By recognizing the limitations of our own knowledge and being open to learning more about others, we can build stronger, more meaningful relationships based on trust and mutual understanding.

 

While embracing the principle that “You don’t know what you don’t know” is what can make us humble, empathetic and curious individuals, it can also be uncomfortable and challenging at the same time. Discomfort and challenge are often signs of growth and learning, that makes us more resilient and adaptable individuals.

 

Few months ago, I decided to enrol into a course, and even recommended the same to two of my friends from coaching community. One of them declined saying that this course is nothing but NLP wine in a different bottle, and that he is already an expert in NLP. This made my other friend wonder and she asked me why I am still interested in this course when I am already a Certified Master Trainer of NLP.  I shared my reasoning with her – “NLP is everywhere without it being called NLP. There are some NLP “experts” who see NLP everywhere and say ‘oh I know all this already’. And there are other NLP “learners” like me who see NLP everywhere and say ‘wow there is so much more to learn in NLP’. That’s the difference that makes the difference. By exploring what I don’t know, I will learn what I don’t know.”

Learning and growth are ongoing processes. We will never know everything there is to know, and there will always be new challenges and experiences to navigate. By embracing a growth mindset and committing to lifelong learning, we can continue to evolve and improve as individuals.

“If you are not willing to meet uncertainty, you will kill possibility.”

– Keren Eldad, Founder of With Enthusiasm 

To sum it up, in order to be ready to know more, we have to accept that we don’t know what we don’t know.

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Discover the Magic in the Mundane by subscribing to the Weekly Newsletter - NLP Around You.

Also, find out how you can join the complimentary LIVE training on the Art and Science of Success- (The NLP Practitioner Course)

Explore the complete set of online recorded courses at W3 Success Academy now.

Dancing to the Tune of Stories

Dancing to the Tune of Stories

“NLP Around You” was a name I had coined several years ago, and saved it in my ideas bank without knowing what I would do about it. It was just like having the ingredients ready, without figuring out the recipe. Little did I know, the recipe will take the form of this newsletter, with the flavour of taste being contributed not only from my own experience of 27 years but also from the sharing and takeaways from the participants of my NLP Course.

Now, let’s continue with another adventurous ride with this third episode.

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

Pause, before you are forced to take a pause.” – Mehernosh Randeria, Thoughtfully Yours

NLP Quote Corner

Wisdom comes from experience, but experience is not enough. Experience anticipated and experience revisited is the true source of wisdom.”- John Grinder.

One Minute NLP

Anchoring

The NLP technique of anchoring trains you to connect a certain stimulus with thoughts and emotions to elicit a desired response.

A good example is hearing a song in the present that brings you right back to a particular time in your past when you heard that song. You remember where you were, what you were doing, and most importantly, you rekindle the emotional state you were in at that time.

The goal of anchoring in NLP, therefore, is to get a particular positive emotional response or elicit a resourceful state to some situation that previously has made you feel some (perceived) negative emotion, such as feeling insecure or upset. You can change your mood or state of mind instantly by “anchoring” the desired positive emotional response. You can reproduce that feeling by firing off the anchor any time you need it.

On a lighter note, here is a video that will demonstrate the mechanisms of anchoring, as well as bring a smile to your face.

Anchoring in Practical Use

Meta-Magic

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An old, wise, wealthy man, who was known for his zen-like philanthropic nature once headed out for a horse ride. On the way, he saw an old man with a hunchback, with a tattered shawl on his body, almost limping in his way. The old man’s heart melted and immediately he stopped and got off the horse and offered the horse to the poor man.

The poor man immediately rode the horse and removed his shawl and began laughing. He said, “Hahaha you fool. The world calls you wise. And look, I stole your horse with your own will and you could not figure out that I am a thief. Where did your wisdom go here? I am so happy because I defeated you and now I will tell my victorious story to the whole world, who till now, used to think that you are the wisest.

The wise old man took a bit long pause, which made the thief a bit uncomfortable yet curious about what will come next. The wise old man said with a deeper breath and a wide smile, “My dear friend, you may take this horse. I accept that I don’t have wisdom. But I just have one request. Please don’t tell this story to anyone.

The thief, now with a bloated ego, boasted, “Hah, afraid and ashamed, right? That you lost and now you won’t be worshipped if I tell the story to people?

The wise old man replied: “No. Nothing like that. Just that, if you tell this story to the world, people will stop helping strangers.”

My question to you is:

What stories are you choosing to share with the world? While we are keen to share those stories that impacted us, are we aware of the meaning-making that our story may create for others? Are you sure that your stories will be perceived by others with the same learning that you intended to share with them? While you are dancing to the tunes of your story, are you making sure that the song is the same for the others too? Or are you just too engrossed in composing the music?

Hook from a Book

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through and how you survived. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.”

Haruki Murakami

Movie Motivation

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“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.” – Forrest Gump.

Please do reply to this email with your understanding of this dialogue, and how you think this applies in your personal as well as professional life.

Weekly Winner Posts

This week’s highest interactive post was the one where I am handing over my autographed book to Seema Desai Nair who has chosen to teach NLP in Marathi language and take the power of this amazing field to the interiors of Maharashtra.

Here’s the link to the reel. Make sure to read the caption.

See you next week

That’s all for the third episode of this newsletter. By now, you would have gauged that prior knowledge of NLP is not a prerequisite for being a subscriber to this newsletter. Who would you like to invite from your family, professional as well as social circles to be part of “NLP Around You”? Who could start benefitting from a different perspective of looking at life from the lens of NLP? Simply invite them by sharing this link with them now: http://nlparoundyou.com/

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

NLP – A Revolutionary Growth Tool for Women’s Empowerment

NLP – A Revolutionary Growth Tool for Women’s Empowerment

“Imagine that you buy a bag of tomatoes and you are not allowed to keep it in fridge and you have to carry it everywhere you go. What will happen? Tomatoes will rot, right? Well the same happens with our emotional baggage. But with NLP in life, I remember and remind others also to remove the rotten tomatoes from life.” These were the words of K P Mamatha Rao, who shared the nuggets of her self-growth journey in the Women’s Day Special Session in W3 Success Academy.

 

In my journey of growth with NLP, I realised few things. Firstly the progress or growth that NLP provides is holistic, as it is a perfect combination of mind and body healing. Secondly, NLP has helped me more personally and then as I became a better person each day, I excelled automatically in my profession. Finally, the most amazing part about being a NLP coach is getting to witness the transformation of my mentees. While we had a special session for the female mentees as a token of salute to the womanhood, we came across constellation of powerful stories and equally powerfully emerging women from all walks of life. This women’s day, after such power-packed session I could not resist to write about NLP as a revolutionary tool for women. So here we are today, on International Women’s Day, dedicating a post for women and how NLP became their genie who fulfilled not just one but many wishes, dreams and goals.

 

“Everything begins from subconscious and subconscious is built up by everything.” A thought, a belief, a pattern and even the habit; everything stems from subconscious. So does success and failure. If our subconscious mind is the pencil, then the sharpener is NLP. The thoughts and patterns, which handcuff us unknowingly, are no less than the dust we need to remove in order to shine.

 

What is NLP?

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is a psychological approach that focuses on the connection between neurological processes (neuro), language (linguistic), and behavioural patterns (programming). The core belief of NLP is that by understanding and changing the way we think, communicate, and behave, we can improve our lives and achieve our goals.

NLP was developed in the 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, who studied successful therapists and communicators and identified patterns in their language, behaviour, and mindset. They then created a set of techniques and tools that could be used to replicate those patterns and help others achieve similar success. Thus NLP is rightly also known as the study of the difference that makes the difference.

 

 

How can NLP benefit women?

Most women face a unique set of challenges in their personal and professional lives. They may struggle with issues such as self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and work-life balance. NLP can be a powerful tool to help women overcome these challenges and achieve their goals.

Here are some ways that NLP can benefit women:

 

  1. Improved Communication Skills

At its very basic level, NLP teaches effective communication skills, including active listening, rapport building, and persuasive language. Regardless of any gender, sharpening these skills can make you more effective in your personal and professional relationships, which can help you achieve your goals.

 

  1. Better Inner Chatter (evolved communication with self)

While NLP uses language patterns to change the state and perceptions of mind which lead towards better and impactful communication, there is something more to it than just this. And that is your inner self-talk, which is often the root cause of many issues. This is where NLP hits the nail. Women often face the negative inner chatter due to several reasons such as self-doubt, doing justice to family as well as self-growth, imposter syndrome, etc. By using right words that can change an “away from” orientation to a “towards” orientation, NLP has reframed many inner chatters in women while putting a positive shade in their lives. Once the inner self-talk is improvised, the road to growth becomes smoother.

 

  1. Breaking the Shackles

“Whether you can or whether you can’t, both are true.” While there are circumstantial hiccups everywhere, the human mind, which is more conditioned to remain threatened rather than happy, has a tendency to think and notice negative first. Thanks to the societal stereotyping, many women often face limiting beliefs that hold them back from achieving their full potential. These beliefs may include thoughts such as “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve success.” NLP can help in identifying and overcoming these limiting beliefs, allowing them to achieve their goals with confidence.

 

  1. Improved self-esteem and Quality of Life

Be it reframing, language patterns or anchoring, NLP techniques are just the much needed spell for women to not just change, but to revive their self-esteem. Once the negative patterns, inner chatter and self-esteem are taken care of, the quality of life and overall relationships also thrive. By changing negative self-talk and focusing on empowering beliefs, women can build a stronger sense of self-worth and overcome feelings of self-doubt.

 

  1. Better work-life balance

NLP can help women manage their time and priorities, allowing them to achieve a better work-life balance. By setting clear goals and using time management techniques, women can focus on what is important and make the most of their time.

 

  1. A Better Society

The core fabric of a good society begins from womanhood. If women are empowered, the nation is empowered. Although there have been enough initiatives out there to take stand for women, NLP works as a personalised inner pocket tool in mind, which women can use as a shield to stay protected in day to day life and bloom to their fullest, while building a better society. When a woman is healthy and happy, the family and social scene gets a higher happiness curve.

 

In conclusion, NLP is a powerful tool that can help women overcome challenges, improve their communication skills, and achieve their goals. By identifying limiting beliefs, using empowering language, practicing visualization, and cultivating gratitude, women can use NLP to empower themselves and create the life they desire. As we celebrate International Women’s Day, let us recognize the strength and resilience of women, and support them in their journey towards personal and professional success. Wish you the NEXT LEVEL PROGRESS through NLP.

 

Witness the moment where 12 empowered ladies (all NLP Master Practitioners) share their success stories of how NLP has been an enabler, empowering women to reach new heights in their personal and professional lives, exclusively on the YouTube channel of W3 Coach.

https://youtu.be/O0EAxOfOdMc

 

Make sure to subscribe to receive all updates from W3 Coach directly in your inbox.

https://w3coach.com/subscribe/

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Discover the Magic in the Mundane by subscribing to the Weekly Newsletter - NLP Around You.

Also, find out how you can join the complimentary LIVE training on the Art and Science of Success- (The NLP Practitioner Course)

Explore the complete set of online recorded courses at W3 Success Academy now.

How Do You Take a Better Selfie?

How Do You Take a Better Selfie?

I am joyfully overwhelmed by the amazing response to the first newsletter with almost 2,000 subscribers in the first week itself. Here is a token of gratitude with a standing ovation from me to you for showering so much love. When you order the book Thoughtfully Yours directly from the publisher’s website, you can avail an exclusive launch discount by using the discount code “TYLAUNCH” now.

https://notionpress.com/read/thoughtfully-yours

Now, let’s continue with another adventurous ride with this second episode.

Thoughtful Thought of the Week

“Awareness is not a wall of defence but a bridge towards development.” – Mehernosh Randeria

NLP Quote Corner

“The strongest instinct in human beings is not survival. Virginia Satir said something to me that has resonated with me for forty years. She asked, “What do you think is the strongest instinct?” Like a robot I responded, “Survival.” For me, it had always been the strongest instinct. She said, “No, Richard. The strongest instinct in human beings is the need to look at the familiar.” “People are terrified of the unknown. In fact, sometimes people will rather kill themselves than look at new things.

Richard Bandler, Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming

One Minute NLP

Calibration

Calibration is the ability to notice, with great precision, what is going on around you. It is your non-judgemental observation of the tiny minute-by-minute changes in someone’s voice and body.

An important aspect to keep in mind while calibrating is that a form of behaviour that means something to you in a certain situation does not always mean the same to someone else. Look for repeated non-verbal clues like voice quality, inclination in physiological postures, eye movements, breathing, skin tones, and more.

In this interesting video, Andre Agassi shares how Boris Becker’s tongue unwittingly gave an incredible advantage that he exploited to win Wimbledon in 1992. Watch the video here

Meta-Magic

What do you do when your selfie doesn’t turn out good? You take another one, right? With a different background, different angle and may be a different emotion/expression.

Have you ever given a thought about mental selfies? Confused? Yes, our mental selfies are our perceptions, which show us the mirror about our own life and choices.

My question to you is: How do you take better mental selfies, when some perception or point-of-view is not serving you? What changes do you want to make in the angle, background, or emotion?

Hook from a Book

“You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic.”

Alice in The Wonderland.

Movie Motivation

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“Babumoshai, Zindagi Badi Honi Chahiye, Lambi Nahi”

This dialogue from my all-time favourite movie, Anand, is an invitation to look at life in its wholeness rather than the length of time. A really deep message. Translated simply, it conveys the message to live life kingsize and live every moment in the now.

I would love to know your understanding of this dialogue when you reply to this email. Please let me know how you relate to Anand’s philosophy of living life.

Weekly Winner Posts

One of the popular posts this week has been “Why you should not eat the frog everyday?” Do share your views too by commenting on the post.

See you next week

That’s all for the second episode of this newsletter. By now, you would have gauged that prior knowledge of NLP is not a prerequisite for being a subscriber to this newsletter. Who would you like to invite from your family, professional as well as social circles to be part of “NLP Around You”? Who could start benefitting from a different perspective of looking at life from the lens of NLP? Simply invite them by sharing this link with them now: http://nlparoundyou.com/

Thoughtfully Yours,

Mehernosh Randeria

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